Behind the Facade
by Madison Ashlee
Summary: When Jasper takes his girlfriend Bella home for Thanksgiving their lives are forever changed. AU/AH a little OOC. J/B to begin. Eventual E/B and A/J. Rated M mostly for language.
1. I'm Going Home

A/N: This is my first Twilight fanfic. Hope you like it. Contrustive criticism is welcome. I don't own Twlight.

Bella had met Jasper her freshman year of college. She remembered the first time she saw him. At her very first frat party. She'd come off more brave than she felt, but she knew from the moment she saw him she had to get to know him. Jasper said he had felt the same. That he was instantly drawn to her.

That had been a little over 2 years ago. And now, with Thanksgiving coming, Jasper felt it was time she met his family. In fact, he had been trying since freshman year to convince her. But Bella always had some excuse for not going. The truth was she hadn't had a very good family experience and she just didn't know how to handle a family that was as close as Jasper's. It scared her. Of course, she'd never told that to Jasper. In fact, she hadn't really told him much about her life before she met him. Although Jasper was eager to know more about her, he didn't push.

Bella folded another sweater and put it in her suitcase. She knew it would probably be freezing in New York. She was excited to see New York though, but she wished they were going in the summer. Being from Georgia, she wasn't used to cold weather. But she hadn't told Jasper she was from the South. She was embarrassed by the fact and before she moved to California, she'd worked on getting rid of her accent. And she'd been so successful that nobody questioned her when she told them she was from Seattle.

Bella felt bad that Jasper didn't know where she was really from, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell him. He might not love her if he knew the truth.

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she called, knowing it was Jasper.

"Hey, baby girl, you ready to go?" Jasper asked coming into the room.

"Just abut," Bella answered tossing another sweater into her bag.

"Did you pack your sweatpants, babe?"

"No. Why would I pack those?"

"I love those!" Jasper enthused.

"But they're old and ratty and I want to make a good impression on your family."

"They won't care about what you sleep in. Please. Just bring them. For me," Jasper begged.

"Jasper! You're lucky I even let you see me in those."

Jasper crossed the room and opened the drawer she kept them in and pulled them out. "Please Bells. I fuckin' love these on you. You look so damn hot in them. I'm getting hot just thinking about you in them," he told her holding the old sweatpants to his chest.

"All the more reason for me not to bring them." She snatched them away from him and tucked them into her bag. "But if it means that much to you."

"It does, it really does." He smiled down at her as he put his arms around her.

Bella rested her head on his chest. She was more nervous than she'd ever tell Jasper. She reached up and tangled her fingers into his shaggy blonde hair and pulled his head down to make his lips meet hers.

"Alright, I'm ready now," she said. "Let's go before we miss our flight."

"Ungh!" Jasper said as Bella pulled away from him. "Sometimes you're such a tease."

"It was just a kiss, Jasper. Calm down," she giggled.

"You drive me crazy."

"You know you love it, " Bella replied taking his hand into hers. She'd need him close if she was going to make it through the holiday.

* * * * * * *

Family holiday time. Edward leaned back into his seat. He was looking forward to seeing his older brother Jasper. Now that they were going to school on opposite coasts, they rarely saw each other anymore. Though they were a few years apart they'd always been pretty close.

And Edward missed his parents too. Although it hadn't been as long since the last time he'd seen them.

When he talked to his mother on the phone she'd mentioned Jasper was bringing his girlfriend home. It was about time they got to meet her. She'd only been dating his brother for 2 years! Maybe Bella was actually a man and that's why Jasper had taken so long to bring her… him home.

But Edward couldn't picture his older brother as gay. In fact he chuckled to himself at the thought. But he was interested in meeting this mystery girl.

It almost made him wish he had someone to bring home. He'd feel like quite the 5th wheel. But then he'd never really been a girlfriend kind of guy. He preferred to play the field. He was sure if he ever came across "the one" he'd know it and then he would give up his ways. But for now he just wanted to have fun. Maybe he should have brought one of his female friends home anyway. Rosalie, maybe? She was his closest friend in South Carolina. But he hadn't asked her and so he'd have to endure this holiday alone. He just hoped it wouldn't be too bad and that Jasper would still pay at least some attention to his little brother while they were home. He almost felt like a dork just thinking it.

"Hey."

A voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked to his left, the direction the voice came from. The girl who was sitting next to him was staring at him intently with her wide blue eyes, waiting for a reply.

"Hey," he said back looking her up and down. She was cute. Why hadn't he noticed her before?

"I'm Alice," she said.

"Alice, huh? I'm Edward," he said.

"So, where are you going?" she asked as she boldly ran her fingers through Edwards wild bronze hair.

"Um… home. For Thanksgiving."

"Really?"

"Yeah. What about you?"

"I don't know."

Edward furrowed his brow. She didn't know. He looked at the pixie girl sitting next to him. How could she not know where she was going?

Alice seemed to realize his confusion so she explained, "I was sitting at home, minding my own business when suddenly I got the urge to go to New York. I felt like if I didn't go I'd be missing something important. The feeling nagged me for days and now here I am. But I don't have any concrete plans after we touch down."

"Hmmm…" Edward said, "that's… um… odd," he said admiring her petite from and spiky black hair.

"Yeah." She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. "There's something about you…" she paused and glance over at him. Measuring his reaction, he supposed. "I think… maybe whatever reason I'm here has something to do with you."

Edward laughed out loud. How absurd. She must be pulling his leg. But he looked at here and she looked offended and slightly hurt.

"I'm sorry," he found himself apologizing to her before he consciously decided to, "I didn't mean to laugh, but do you realize how crazy you sound?"

"Yes. I do," she said shortly. "Do you think for one minute I'd be telling you this if it weren't absolutely vital to me?" She shot at him.

"No. I suppose not." He didn't know what to say to her. He turned to look out the window, but he could feel her eyes on him. Slowly he turned back to face her. She was smiling up at him brightly.

"I have nowhere to go for Thanksgiving," Alice blurted out.

Edward looked at her like she'd lost her mind. Was she suggesting he ask her to have Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family? He pondered that for a minute. He could pretend she was a friend from school. But what if she was a complete psycho or a clepto or something? She could kill him and his family in their sleep and then run off with all of their things. He looked her up and down again. She seemed so tiny and harmless they way she looked up at him with her big blue eyes. Maybe a little crazy, but harmless nonetheless. Ah, what the hell, he honestly didn't think this girl would hurt a fly. Plus she was cute.

"You could spend it with me and my family."

"Oh, Edward! Do you really mean that?" She looked up at him unleashing the full force of her blue eyes on him again. He thought he was the only one who could do that. Damn. He'd met his match.

"Yeah, sure, why not? Just as long as we don't tell anyone we met on the plane."

"Of course. Should I be your girlfriend or just your friend?"

"Um…" he turned the possibilities over in his mind, "just a friend. I don't really do girlfriends."

"Well, I suppose if we're going to be friends we should probably get to know each other," Alice told him.

"I suppose you're right," Edward agreed.

"I'll go first. My name is Mary Alice Brandon. I'm 22 and I was born in Seattle. I moved to Miami when I was 7 with my grandparents and my younger sister. I stayed there until I was 18. Then I moved to Sarasota for school. What about you?" She stared up at him eagerly.

"Um… I'm Edward Cullen. I'm 19. I was born and raised in New York. I live with my parents there and I have an older brother, Jasper. I go to school at the University of South Carolina. I'm majoring in journalism."

"My major is fashion merchandising."

"Hmm. Yes well, if we teak it a little and say you're majoring in business management I think it will work. Umm… I guess you should know my fathers name is Carlisle and he is a cardiologist at Mt. Sinai. My mother is Esme and she is an interior decorator."

Alice's eyes lit up as he said it. "I love interior decorating almost as much as I love fashion!"

"Good to know," Edward chuckled. He liked Alice. He was kind of excited for the adventure that would be Thanksgiving.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know if you think I should continue.


	2. Home Sweet Home

_A/N: Chapter 2. Review please. Let me know what you think._

"Here we are, baby girl. Home sweet home," Jasper said as the cab pulled into the driveway. He took in Bella's expression as the massive house came into view. Her jaw had dropped momentarily before she quickly closed her mouth.

For the first time Jasper felt extremely nervous. He couldn't imagine that his family wouldn't absolutely adore Bella, but there was always a slight possibility. Not that they would ever be openly hostile toward her, but he still worried. He looked at Bella again as the cab rolled to a stop. She was trying very hard not to show it, but she was a bundle of nerves. He laughed softly to himself.

Bella looked over at him with a curious look on her face. He just shook his head. He couldn't quite figure out why this had taken so long. Bella always seemed so freaked out when he talked about how close his family was. He wondered why. She never talked about her own family unless he pushed. And even then he only got one word answers and very general information. He knew her parent's names were Phil and Renee. But that was pretty much it about them. He knew she was an only child and that she'd been born in Seattle on September 13th. But he didn't know much else about her family or her past. Sometimes it bothered him. He felt like she was keeping a secret from him. But he didn't want to ride her about it. He loved her the way she was. But he definitely got the distinct impression she was ashamed of something in her past.

"You ready?" he asked, brushing a few strands of her beautiful mahogany hair out of her face. He wondered what she was thinking.

Bella shrugged. "Ready as I'll ever be," she smiled up at him.

Bella took a deep breath before stepping out of the cab. What if his parents immediately hated her? Jasper took her hand into his. She was sure he could tell she was nervous. He'd always been pretty good at reading her emotions.

"Its gonna be alright," he whispered softly into her ear as they approached the door.

Bella stopped. She hadn't meant to, but her feet wouldn't take another step. Every muscle in her body was at war with her brain. They wanted to turn and run, but her brain was trying to persuade her to continue up the porch steps and into the house.

Jasper looked at her like she'd lost her damn mind. Maybe she had. She couldn't force herself to take another step forward. Jasper wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

"It's gonna be fine, Bells. There's nothing to be worried about. They're gonna love you. Now come on, pull yourself together, love." He stared down at her, his blue eyes pleading with her to get it together.  
Bella squeezed her eyes shut and took another deep breath. "I'm sorry, Jasper," she said pulling out of his embrace and forcing her trembling legs to make the ascent up the porch steps. She glanced up at the huge house again in awe. If she had known Jasper's family had this kind of money she would have never gotten involved with him. He was already too good for, but she'd been able to convince herself that he wanted her and that maybe she was good enough. Now she knew she had no business being with him.

Jasper held the door open for her and she ducked inside. She hadn't realized how cold she'd been until she felt the heat descend upon her. She took a moment to look around. She gasped as she did. Everything was so beautiful. The house looked like something from a movie.

"Mom, Dad, We're here," Jasper called up the stairs, a huge marble staircase.

Moments later his mother, Esme appeared at the top of the staircase. Bella exhaled sharply. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. The woman looked like a freaking angel. She had long dark hair the hung loose around her shoulders and fair, perfect luminescent skin. Not a blemish or a wrinkle anywhere in sight.

Bella realized she was staring but she couldn't take her eyes off Jasper's beautiful mother.

"Mom, this is Bella," Jasper spoke, breaking her trance. "Bella, this is my mother Esme."

"It's so nice to finally meet you, dear," Esme said wrapping Bella in a warm embrace.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, please, sweetheart, call me Esme."

Bella blushed and nodded.

"Ah, so this is the lovely Bella we've heard so much about."

Bella and Jasper turned at the sound of Carlisle's voice.

"So much lovelier than we could have imagined."

"Bella, this is my father, Carlisle," Jasper gestured to his father.

Bella was blushing even deeper. She started at the man Jasper had obviously gotten his looks from. He had the same blonde hair only it was cut short and the same ice blue eyes.

"I've heard so much about you as well," Bella said. "And thank you," she added shaking the doctor's hand and pulling herself together.

"Is Edward home?" Jasper asked. Bella had forgotten about Jasper's younger brother.

"He got in a few hours ago," Carlisle informed them.

"He had a very nice young woman with him," Esme added. "Did he say anything to you about bringing guest?"

Jasper shook his head. "No. I don't remember him saying anything about it."

Bella was glad she was temporarily forgotten and that she wasn't the only stranger in the house. At least she had been expected.

"So, where is he?"

"I think he and Alice went into the living room," Carlisle said gesturing toward the back of the house.

"Come on, Bells. You have to meet my little brother." He grabbed her hand and led her to the back of the house to a huge room with plush carpet and an overstuffed white couch.

"Edward!" Jasper shouted dropping Bella's hand and putting his brother in a headlock.

"Let me go, Jasper!" Edward said trying to break Jasper's hold. He twisted and suddenly he had Jasper in a headlock. "Ha!" he shouted in victory before looking up at Bella standing in the archway.

Holy fucking shit! Edward's arms dropped from his brother's neck. He couldn't believe the vision standing in front of him. He rubbed his eyes to be sure she was real. Yep, she was definitely real. He realized his mouth was hanging open and he was gawking at her like an idiot. He closed his mouth with an audible snap. Who the hell was this goddess?

"Pull it together, Edward," Jasper said, lightly punching his brother's shoulder.

The girl, who Edward's brain slowly processed was Bella, turned bright pink.

Oh, damn was that hot. He struggled with his inner thoughts before swallowing hard and regaining his composure.

"Bella, this is Edward, my dopey brother. Edward this is _my_ girlfriend, Bella." Jasper had put extra emphasis on the word my.

"Um…" Edward said running his fingers through his hair. "This is my um… friend, Alice. Alice, this is Jasper and Bella." He glance over at Alice whose eyes were completely lit up. She was staring at Jasper. But in a more graceful way than he had been staring at Bella.

But it hadn't escaped Bella's notice. She saw the tiny dark haired girl staring at her boyfriend and grabbed his arm possessively. She looked up at Jasper to find him returning the girls stare.

She slapped Jasper's arm

"Ow, whatcha do that for?" he asked.

Bella dropped his arm and stomped out of the room. She was sure of what she'd seen. He was staring at that girl. She knew it. She'd meant to head out the front door, but she didn't know her way around and she'd ended up in an office somewhere inside the massive house. She'd never guessed that Jasper would be so easily distracted by one beautiful stranger. And she was beautiful. Almost pixie like in her beauty.

Of course he'd be interested. It shouldn't surprise her. And she'd be a better fit with his gorgeous family. It hadn't gotten by her how insanely beautiful his brother was too. Wild bronze hair that looked like he just rolled out of bed, but still absolutely perfect, piercing green eyes, he looked just like his mother. She didn't belong here. She was pale in comparison to these people. Perhaps that's why Edward had stared at her. He couldn't believe how low his brother had settled.

It didn't hurt so much that Jasper had looked at the girl. It was the way he had looked at her. Like he was seeing for the first time.

Bella sank to the floor and began to cry. She was used to this feeling of being unworthy. But somehow she had convinced herself she'd been worthy of Jasper. The sudden realization that she'd been wrong cut deep through her.

She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in them. She knew coming here was a mistake and she wished she could just disappear.


	3. Werid

_A/N: Okay, so I want to make it clear that I haven't yet decided the final pairings. I haven't thought the whole story through yet. I'm just writing as it comes to me. I would really appreciate some feedback though. Let me know what you're thinking. Please. I don't want to have to beg, but I will if it's necessary._

* * *

_You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain  
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud  
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd  
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes._

_- Weird by Hanson- _

"Jasper, what the hell?" Edward shouted as his brother who was just standing there.

"What?" Jasper was defensive.

"You're just gonna let her go? You're not gonna go after her?" If it had been him he would have never let Bella leave the room.

"Trust me. I know Bella. She just needs some time to cool off," he said.

Edward noticed Jasper was still staring at Alice. He shook his head. How could he do that? Then suddenly Edward wondered why the hell he cared so much. He didn't know Bella. But he had seen the hurt look in her eyes when she caught his brother staring at Alice. Which he was still doing.

"Jasper, man, stop staring!" Edward took his brother by the shoulders and shook him.

"Sorry. I didn't… I don't…" He couldn't even formulate a response.

Edward cast a glare in Alice's direction, but she too was still staring.

"Ugh!" Edward through his hands in the air, turned and marched out of the room. He wondered how long the two of them would stay there before coming to their damn senses.

Meanwhile, Bella was somewhere in the house, presumably by herself. Unless she'd run into one of his parents. In the hallway Edward could hear the faint sound of someone crying. He could only assume it was Bella. He followed the sound and it lead him to his father's office. He peaked through the door and there she was.

She was folded in the middle of the floor, her arms around her knees, her head in buried in her lap, muffling the sobs that shook her small frame. Edward felt strange, as if he were intruding on her private moment. He cleared his throat to alert her of his presence.

Bella's head snapped up when she heard someone clear their throat. She assumed it was Jasper. She was shocked to see Edward standing there instead.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice like melted butter.

Bella didn't respond. She just stared at him, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

"I'm sorry," Edward started, "I didn't mean to just barge in. I thought…" he didn't finish.

Bella quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up. She must look like a complete fool sitting on the floor balling her eyes out.

"I'm sorry." Her voice, rough from crying, sounded even harsher to her ears after Edward's smooth velvet tone.

"For?" He was staring at her with what looked like concern, but that Bella could guess was probably pity.

"I didn't mean… um… you didn't finish," she told him.

"Oh. I thought maybe you could use some company."

"Oh!" It was all she could say as her mouth fell open in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts.

"I'll go then," Edward said.

Bella looked at him confused. "You don't have to." She hated that her voice sounded so fragile.

"I don't want…" Edward seemed to be struggling with his words. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You're not," Bella assured him.

"I'm sorry Jasper is such a bonehead."

"Where is he?"

"He thinks you need your space. To, you know, cool down."

Bella nodded slowly. "But you thought different." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry. If you need you're space, I'll leave"

"No, its okay. I'd really rather not be alone." Bella bit her lip.

It was Edward's turn to nod. The girl was fucking gorgeous. He wondered if she realized what she was doing to him when she did that shit. He felt oddly unnerved around her. He wanted to pull her into him and kiss her hard, but he had to keep reminding himself she was his brother's girlfriend. Instead, all he could do was stand there and stumble over his words like an idiot.

"So, uh, are you alright?"  
"Yes. I'm fine, thank you," Bella drawled.

Edward looked at her in confusion as she turned bright red. Had she said that in a southern accent? It was beautiful.

She'd let her accent slip. Why the hell had she done that? She felt so damn comfortable around Edward she'd forgotten to cover it up. Maybe he hadn't noticed. But one look at his face told her he had. Shit.

Bella giggled nervously. "Too much country music," she lied softly, all traces of the accent gone.

Edward nodded in understand, but he still looked confused. "You wanna take a walk?" he asked.

"Sure." Bella was grateful he'd just let it go. She followed him from the room.

"I just have to run upstairs and grab a hoodie. Would you like one?"

"Yes, please," she said knowing it would probably be freezing outside.

Edward disappeared up the big marble staircase. Bella sat down on the bottom stair to wait. After a few minutes Edward reappeared wearing a gray South Carolina hoodie and carrying another one in a slightly darker shade. He handed it too her.

Bella pulled the sweatshirt over her head inhaling his delicious scent that clung to every fiber of it. It was almost dizzying how amazing he smelled.

"Thank you."

"Sure, not problem." He smiled at her. "So, how did you and Jasper meet, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well," Bella said, "we actually met at a frat party my freshman year. I saw him across the room and I felt like I had to know him. Like he was completely different from anyone I'd ever known in my entire life."

"And is he?"

"Yes."

"And you're from Seattle?" Edward felt the atmosphere change as he finished the question. He glanced at Bella and noticed that her body was tensed, her jaw clenched and her brow furrowed.

A curt "yes" was the only answer she gave. You would have thought he'd insulted her.

"Are you alright?" he asked worried. It was such an odd reaction to such an innocent question.

There was no answer and Edward looked over at her again. She looked like she was at war with herself.

"Do you hate Seattle?" Edward asked.

"What?" Bella sounded confused and distant.

"Seattle? You don't like it," he guessed.

Bella sighed softly. So softly Edward wasn't sure he'd actually heard it.

"Is that it?" he asked wishing she'd say something to him.

"No," Bella said shaking her head vigorously as tears began spilling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Edward was apologizing again. He didn't know why she was crying. It must have been something he said. Maybe she was homesick and wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her family.

Bella looked at Edward. He looked like he was scared. She didn't blame him. She was acting strange. She knew it. And yet she couldn't stop crying. She hadn't been expecting to spend any one on one time with Jasper's family, although she probably should have been prepared for them trying to get to know her. But she hadn't been. Or maybe it was just the stress of the lie she had created was finally catching up to her. At any rate, she was thankful it was Edward asking her now and not one of Jasper's parents. She had to get a hold of herself.

"You wanna go back home?" she heard Edward ask softly.

She shook her head. That was the last place she wanted to go right now.

"I'm sorry," she said between sobs. Damn it! Her accent had slipped out again.

"Really, are you alright?" Edward asked again, clearly frustrated.

What the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't she keep it together around Edward? She forced herself to stop crying.

"I just… miss my family," she lied once again, covering up her accent.

Edward seemed to relax at that. "I understand. I don't know if I'd be able to spend the holidays away from my family."

"But you have such a beautiful family." She narrowed her eyes and scrunched her nose as she realized her mistake.

"Thank you," Edward said. "I'm sure yours is lovely as well."

Bella laughed out loud, bitterly and then quickly covered her mouth.

Edward looked at her strangely again. "That was funny to you?"

"I'm sorry. No, it's not. I don't… I can't control my emotions around you. It's very strange."

"I've noticed. Yes, it is very strange."

They were quiet for a moment. And then Edward asked, "Can I ask you another question?"

"I suppose," Bella answered.

"Promise you won't cry?" Edward smiled at her.

Bella blushed and giggled, "I can't promise anything."

"I guess I'll take my chances then." He hesitated for a moment as if he was trying to work up the courage to ask her whatever was on his mind. Or perhaps he was just gathering his thoughts. "Do you feel like Jasper is the one?"

"The one?" Bella repeated.

"Yeah. Like, could you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him."

Bella took a deep breath. It definitely wasn't a question she'd been expecting. But it was one she'd thought about in depth before. "I love Jasper very much," she started, "and if he'd have me for the rest of our lives, I would surely be happy to stay with him that long."

Edward inhaled sharply. It sounded as if someone had punched him in the guy. "So, you'd let that be up to him?" he said after a long moment.

"Believe me, I'd fight for him if _someone_ tried to take him away from me. But if he made the decision he didn't want me anymore, what can I do?"

Edward just nodded.

Bella couldn't believe how much she was sharing with Jasper's brother. It was unlike her.

"So, this Alice," she said changing the subject, "is she your girlfriend?"

Edward laughed at the thought. "Nah. She's just a, um, a friend."

Bella raised an eyebrow at him. "Just a friend, huh?"  
"I swear," Edward said raising his right hand, still laughing.

"So, how'd you two meet?"  
That made him laugh even harder. It made Bella laugh, although she had no idea why they were laughing.

"The truth?"

"Yes, of course," Bella said, her gut wrenching at the word truth.

"You can't tell anyone, okay?"  
Bella sucked in air as she realized he was about to tell her a secret. She felt guilty, but she nodded.

"I met her on the plane."

"The plane?"

"Yeah, on the way home," Edward gave her a shy smile and then looked down at the ground.

"As in, you just met her?"

"Yeah. Crazy right?" he laughed.

"Yeah, crazy." She giggled shaking her head.

Edward threw his arm around her. "You're sworn to secrecy. My parents would kill me if they knew I brought home a complete stranger."

"Why?"  
He looked at her for clarification.

"I mean, why did you bring a complete stranger home?"

"I guess I didn't want to feel like a fifth wheel."

"Um… okay."

"She didn't have anywhere to go. I guess it worked for both of us." He shrugged.

They were silent again.

"I guess we should go back. Jasper's probably looking for you by now," Edward said finally.

Bella shivered at the thought of going back to face Jasper. What if he had decided he didn't want her anymore? That he wanted Alice? Would he tell her right away or wait until they went back to school? And if he did tell her now, would he make her leave or ask her to stay? She didn't want to think about it.

Edward drew her closer, probably interpreting her shiver to mean she was cold. She didn't pull away. The warmth and closeness of his body was comforting. She leaned into him for support, praying that her imagination was running wild and that Jasper would still want her when they got back.

* * *

_A/N: In case you're wondering, no I don't really care for Hanson. The song just happened to fit well. Okay come on and hit that little green button down below. Please!_


	4. I Knew I Loved You and Sorry

_A/N: This is a very short chapter. I'm suffering from writers block. And besides that I haven't gotten a single review. Is this story really that terrible? I'm begging now. I need to know if its worth my time to continue. Even just one itsy bitsy review. Anyway, I'll try to work on another chapter. This time up, a little bit from Alice. _

* * *

_There's just no rhyme of reason_

_Only this sense of completion_

_And in your eyes I see the missing pieces_

_I'm searching for, I think I found my way home._

_-I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden-_

Alice couldn't believe her luck. She'd gotten on the plane to New York without any idea if she'd find what it was she was looking for. And she was used to coming back home disappointed. This wasn't the first time she'd gotten a feeling she was supposed to be somewhere. And when she got the feelings she usually picked up and went. It didn't matter where to. Her family was used to it as well even though they didn't always agree. Her grandparents didn't think a girl her age should be gallivanting around the globe looking for whatever it was she was looking for. And she never found it, whatever it was.

But she'd boarded the plane at her layover in Columbia and sat down next to a guy who was making her brain feel like it was going haywire. He may as well have been wearing a giant neon sign that said 'Alice, I'm vital to your search'.

So, she'd struck up a conversation unsure how he'd respond. She knew she sounded insane. It wouldn't be the first time someone had told her that and she knew that it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Edward had reacted better than she thought he would. She realized that was probably because he thought she was cute. She'd noticed him looking her up and down.

As the conversation went on, Alice started to feel desperate. She knew he was someone who could help her. She started hinting that maybe he should take her home with him. She briefly wondered if Edward was what she had been searching her whole life for. She felt a pang of disappointment. She'd thought that when she found it she would feel like she'd just made the biggest accomplishment of her life. And she didn't feel that way now. She just felt he was someone important to her search.  
Alice was shocked when Edward actually offered to take her home. Maybe _he _was crazy. But she'd take it if he could help her solve the puzzle.

After they got off the plane, the two of them took a cab to Edward's parents house. It was massive and gorgeous. Edward gave her a quick tour before introducing her to his parents. His mother had done an amazing job with the décor. Each room flowed so perfectly together without being matchy matchy.

Esme and Carlisle were such beautiful people. They were a little surprised since Edward obviously hadn't told him he was bringing a guest, but they were very gracious anyway.

And then she and Edward had gone to the living room to continue getting to know each. That's where they were when _**he**_ walked. She felt at that moment her search was finally over. The beautiful man with the shaggy blonde hair, her soul mate. She'd finally found it. She couldn't help herself, she stared at him as if she would die if she looked away. And it felt that way too. Every cliché she'd ever heard about love at first sight seemed to be happening. She saw fireworks or stars or sparks. She wasn't even aware of anything else except her and Jasper.

Once Edward finally got around to introducing her she realized that Jasper was staring at her too. But this seemed too convenient. There had to be a catch.

And that's when Bella slapped him and stalked out of the room. A girlfriend. Of course he had a girlfriend. A very pretty one too. That was what was standing in her way. Alice wished at that moment that she was an evil person with no qualms about stealing a man away from another woman. But she wasn't, so she supposed that fate had brought her this far. Surely there would be a happy ending for everyone.

After what seemed like mere seconds, but was actually much longer, Alice unwillingly broke eye contact with Jasper. She didn't know how long they'd actually been staring at each other, but she noticed Edward had left the room also.

"I guess you should go find your girlfriend," she said sadly. It actually hurt to say the words.

Jasper swallowed hard. "Yeah," he said breathlessly.

Bella. Yes. How could he have forgotten about Bella? Jasper had been in a trance, not being able to take his eyes off of Alice. He didn't know why. He did know that Bella was going to be pissed. She was going to want an explanation. He didn't have one.

He did, however, have an apology. He was being an asshole. He knew it. For now though, he'd just have to find her. Jasper headed for the front door, guessing Bella would have wanted to go outside to calm down. That was what she usually did.

As he neared the door it opened and Bella walked in directly followed by Edward. Had Edward gone looking for Bella? That didn't seem right.

"Hey, guys," Jasper said to get their attention since neither of them seemed to notice him standing there. Bella looked at him, but didn't say anything. He was right. She was pissed.

"Um, hey Jasper," Edward said. "We just took a walk," he explained.

"Uh-huh," Jasper felt irritated with his brother, but shook it off. He reached for Bella's hand. She didn't resist and she allowed him to pull her into him, but she did not soften her rigid body to him.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Jasper told her. "I don't know what came over me. I swear it won't happen again. I love you."

At that Bella melted into his arms and he knew he was forgiven.

* * *

_A/N: Alright guys. Please let me know what you are thinking. _


	5. Use Somebody

_A/N: So here's the fifth chapter. Thanks leopardeyes for catching my mistakes. I appreciate that. Also thanks to MissRosalieHalee for reviewing. Um... hope you like the new one. _

* * *

Edward was a little upset Bella had let Jasper off the hook that easily. But then, he didn't really know her that well, though he wanted to. He thought she would have wanted a more substantial apology, but nothing she had said on their walk would have implied that she hadn't already forgiven Jasper.

Maybe it was just him who thought Jasper's apology should have been better. He thought Jasper owed Bella an explanation. But she'd just let it go. Something Bella had said to him made Edward believe that she didn't feel worthy of Jasper. That she believed on day he'd wake up and realize it and then he'd move on. It was sad to Edward. He wondered why she felt this way and if Jasper knew how she thought.

"Where's Alice?" Edward asked looking through the spot where Jasper and Bella stood with their arms wrapped around each other.

Edward saw Jasper twitch at the sound of Alice's name. It was slight and he recovered so quickly, if Edward didn't know him as well as he did, he never would have noticed it.

"Um…I think she's still in the living room," Jasper said a minor tremble to his voice.

Who did he think he was fooling? Edward could see right through him. He was holding Bella, but thinking of Alice. Edward thought he knew his brother better than that.

"See you guys later," he said before dodging from the room.

Bella noticed how pissed Edward sounded. She wondered why, but decided no to dwell on it.

"Jasper, can we go somewhere to be alone," she asked.

"Yeah, come on. Let's go to my room."

Bella clutched Jasper's arm as he led her up the big marble staircase to his bedroom.

Jasper's room surprised Bella. The walls were painted from floor to ceiling with 4 different landscapes.

"Wow," she whispered.

Jasper chuckled. "I was a little bit of an artist back in the day."

"You painted these?" Bella was impressed and shocked. How had she not known her boyfriend of two years had this kind of talent?

Jasper shrugged. "Sure. It's no big deal."

"Jasper, these are great. Why didn't you tell me you painted?"

"I guess it never came up."

Bella reached into her bag and pulled out her sweatpants and a t-shirt. "I absolutely love your room," she told him as she changed.

Jasper just shrugged again as he pulled off his clothes and climbed into bed.

Bella crawled into bed next to him and leaned in to kiss him. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. Their lips met and she began to kiss him. As she did, she realized he wasn't kissing back.

"Jasper," she murmured.

"Sorry, baby. It's just been a long day." He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

It was still early, but Bella didn't want to argue with him. "Yeah, sure." She felt like she was going to cry. Jasper had never turned her down before. She knew he said he was tired, but she couldn't help but think it had something to do with Alice. She didn't say anything else as they both laid down. But it was almost too much when Jasper turned and faced away from her. It took her back to a place she hadn't been in years. She felt like the scared, lonely little girl she used to be.

"Alice, what the hell were you thinking?" Edward asked her.

"I'm sorry! But Jasper is the reason I came to New York."

Edward rolled his eyes. He couldn't help but like Alice. And he couldn't stay mad at her either. "You're crazy, you know that?"  
"That's what everyone says."

"He's got a girlfriend! You can't mess with that."

"I don't plan to."

"You just being here is messing with it."

"Would you like me to leave?" Alice asked.

Edward thought about it for a moment. "No," he finally said. It would be rude to make her leave. Plus he'd have too many questions to answer. "I'm going to bed," he told her.

"Edward, it's only 8 o'clock."

"Yeah, well…" he didn't know what he planned to say. "I'm going to bed anyway. You gonna be okay?"  
"Sure," Alice assured him.

Edward made his way upstairs. How could he be upset with Alice? He was worse than she was. All she'd done was stare at Jasper. He'd stared at Bella and took a walk with her. He'd even put his arm around her. And Bella was his brother's girlfriend. Alice had no attachments to Bella. Edward felt like such a horrible person. How had things become so complicated in such a short period of time?

He laid down on his bed to sleep, but Alice was right. It was too early. And besides he couldn't stop thinking about Bella. God, she was beautiful. But there was more than that. He felt like Bella was hiding something. He had distinctly heard a southern accents twice and she'd reacted so badly when he'd asked her about Seattle. Plus she had laughed when he told her he was sure her family was lovely. Okay, maybe that was his use of the word lovely.

Edward got up from the bed and crossed his room to where he kept his guitar. Maybe that would make him feel better.

Bella leaned over to check that Jasper was sleeping. He was. She couldn't sleep. She was upset about the earlier events. She tried again to tell herself that Jasper really was tired, but she couldn't make herself believe it.

Slowly she tiptoed into the hallway. She heard music and saw a light on down the hall. She gravitated towards it. Once she reached the room she realized the music was coming from Edward and not a stereo like she had thought. He was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, his back to the door, playing an acoustic guitar and singing. It was a song she didn't recognize, but it was gorgeous just the same. As Edward's velvet voice filled the air she stood motionless, so absorbed that she didn't notice when the music ended abruptly.

Edward had the feeling he was being watched. He looked over his shoulder to see Bella standing in his doorway. He immediately stopped playing, embarrassed to have been caught. He looked up at her, but she didn't move. Maybe she was sleepwalking.

"Bella?"  
"Oh!" she said blushing bright red. "I'm so sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to interrupt.

"It's alright," Edward said, getting to his feet.

"You're amazing," she told him, her cheeks growing evermore crimson.

"Thanks," Edward ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at his feet. Bella made him feel shy, so unlike himself.

"What was that you were playing?"  
"Oh… just something I wrote," he said softly. "Nothing spectacular."

"No, it was gorgeous," Bella assured him. "Do you play often?"  
"I used to play a lot more," Edward told her. "But my parents think it's better if I have a solid career, you know?"

Bella nodded.

"Music's kinda my passion though. I've always dreamed of playing shows and touching people's lives with my music." Edward sighed. "It's just not practical though."

"Is it the same with Jasper's painting?"

"Yeah, it is."

Bella watched Edward intently with her beautiful brown eyes. As if she were analyzing him. Maybe she was.

"Can I ask you a question," he asked unexpectedly.

Bella looked weary as she nodded her head. He wondered if he was in for another emotional outburst, but something had been bothering him.

"Where are you really from?"

Hesitation. He saw it. For a split second he could see her debating the answer to his question.

After a long second she answered, "Seattle."

Edward nodded. He knew she was lying but he wondered why. What was she hiding?

"Alice is from Seattle," he said as he watched her swallow hard.

Bella just nodded.

"Bella…" he didn't want to piss her off, but he wanted some truth. "You're not from Seattle, are you?"

Edward was onto her. She swallowed again. How could he possibly know? Bella ran a hand through her hair. She thought of how nice it would be to tell someone the truth. But she knew the truth would drive people away. She'd spent her whole life trying to escape that life and she didn't want to dredge it up now.

And so forcefully she said, "Yes. I. Am." It was enough to keep him from probing further.

There was a tense awkward silence between them now. Finally Bella asked, "Can you play for me again?"

Edward nodded, picked up his guitar and sat on the bed with Bella right behind him. He began to play "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon and instantly everything felt right between them again.

There was no need for words as the two of them sat on Edward's bed singing each song he played, laughing and giggling when one of them stumbled over the words.

It felt right to Bella. The moment was so intimate. She felt so close to Edward. Like there was no place else she wanted to be, like she belonged her with Edward, the two of them making beautiful music. And then suddenly, like reality came crashing down on her, she thought of Jasper. Jasper who had been there since she'd started her new life. Jasper, the man she loved. She stood up hastily.

"I'm sorry," she said as she headed for the door. "I can't be here."

"Bella, wait," Edward followed her. He knew she was thinking about Jasper. "We weren't doing anything wrong." He reached for her and caught her by the wrist.

Edward had never seen anyone look so fucking hot in a pair of old sweatpants. He looked at her and had to catch his breath. But they weren't doing anything wrong. No matter what was going on in his head. No matter how badly he wanted to do something wrong. The two of them sitting on his bed, singing together, it felt so personal, so close. He hadn't wanted the moment to end.

"Not yet," Bella breathed. She clenched her jaw. "I have a hard time controlling myself around you," she said through her teeth.

And Edward let her go. As soon as she was free of his hold she turned and disappeared down the hall into Jasper's room without so much as a glance backwards. But he knew they both felt the same. And yet neither of them could at on their feelings because she was his brother's girlfriend. And they both loved Jasper too much to hurt him that way.

Edward was glad Bella had pulled away when she did. She was right. They hadn't done anything wrong yet, but it was leading up to that point. If she hadn't left when she did, they would have done something they regretted.

* * *

_Okay, so there you have it. The relationship between Edward and Bella is starting to develop a little. I think next up Jaspers pov, Alice and Bella's friendship? Maybe._


	6. Judas

_A/N: So here's chapter 6. Sorry it took a few days. I'm not updating as fast as I'd like to because I have a lot of things going on. The most important being that I'm up for a promotion at work. Anyway, my vacation starts next week, so hopefully I'll be able to update a little more. I've already got part of the next chapter written. So that should hopefully be up soon. _

_And on a very exciting note, I bought my New Moon tickets yesterday! Yay!_

_Thank you to those who have reviewed, those that have favorited and those that have put this story on alert. I appreciate it and I continue to write this for you guys. Though there are so few of you, I appreciate you just the same._

_Just a note: Once again I do not own Twilight or any of the songs I use throughout the story._

_Enjoy!_

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_Had your back on everything_

_Never let you down, you turned around_

_And betrayed your only brother_

_-Judas by Kelly Clarkson-_

Jasper woke up and reached for Bella. He felt awful for blowing her off earlier. He reached back, but he couldn't find her. He rolled over and was surprised to see that Bella wasn't there.

He propped himself up on his elbows to wait for her to come back. He assumed she'd gone to the bathroom. After several minutes he decided to go look for Bella. Maybe she'd gotten lost. It was a big house.

Out in the hallway Jasper heard the sound of singing and laughter coming from Edward's room. Was Edward playing guitar? He hadn't played his guitar in a long time. Jasper had to see what was going on.

He tiptoed down the hall to Edward's half open door. He froze when he saw Edward and Bella sitting on Edward's bed. He'd thought Alice was in the room, not Bella. And they looked so close. It felt so intimate. He would have felt better if he'd walked in on them having sex. There was such an emotional charge in the room it made him feel uncomfortable.

When he was able to regain control of his body, he quickly went back to his room. He felt horrible. Jasper wondered if this was how Bella had felt watching him stare at Alice. It made him feel sick.

And then he was angry with Edward. He knew that his brother basically had no limits when it came to women. He was a player. He didn't really care whether the girl was attached or not. But Jasper never thought Edward would go after his girlfriend. He thought he could trust his brother. But apparently he couldn't. Edward truly had no limits.

Jasper sprawled out on the bed and scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Maybe it had been a mistake to bring Bella home for Thanksgiving. But then what would he have done with Alice if Bella weren't here? Jasper was angry and confused.

"Jasper?"

Bella's voice startled him. He lifted his head to see her standing there, looking guilty. He wondered what he had missed. What had happened in Edward's room after he walked away? He sat up and held his arms out to her. He didn't care. He wanted his Bella.

Bella buried her head in Jasper's neck. She felt awful. She hadn't done anything wrong, but she'd thought about it. This was worse than anything she'd imagined about coming home with Jasper. She hadn't prepared to want Jasper's brother. She hadn't prepared for anyone to see through her carefully woven lies. But she did and Edward did. And it was too much. She had to get the thought of Edward out of her mind. She began feverishly kissing Jasper's neck following along his jaw line to his ear. She pulled herself up on her knees and swung one leg over his body so she was straddling him

Bella reached her arms around his neck and twined her fingers into his hair as she kissed him hard on the mouth.

This time Jasper made no attempt to stop her. He wanted it as much as she did.

In the morning Bella woke up feeling better. Yesterday had been a rough day. She knew both she and Jasper had silently questioned their relationship at some point during he day. And last night they had reconnected, on a physical level at least. But it made her remember all the reasons she loved Jasper. And yesterday she'd been struggling with her skeletons, but today she felt like she was able to lock them back in their drawer where they belonged.

Bella looked over at Jasper who was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful. Such a change from yesterday when his face had been etched with pain and indecision. She was sure her face had looked much the same.

She leaned over and kissed his forehead before quietly getting out of bed. She picked up the first shirt that her hand touched and pulled it on. Then she grabbed her bag of toiletries and headed for the shower.

She enjoyed the warm water running over her body. She spent the time thinking about last night. About Jasper's soft lips and his rough hands. After the shower she put on her makeup and blow-dried her hair. Then she grabbed the shirt to put it back on so she could go back to Jasper's room and get dressed.

For the first time she looked at the shirt she had grabbed. Edward's South Carolina hoodie. She froze. Why did she feel guilty again? Damn it! She needed to get out of this house. She needed to get away from Edward.

Bella threw the hoodie down on the floor and wrapped her towel around herself tightly. She quickly went back to Jasper's room.

"Hey, baby," Jasper said lazily as he stretched. "You alright?" His brow scrunched in confusion when he saw her face.

Bella tried to compose herself as quickly as she could. "Yeah, I'm fine."

It must have worked because Jasper relaxed.

"You ready for round two?" he asked.

Bella giggled. "Not now, Jasper. Your parents are probably awake."

"Mm'kay," he said rolling out of bed. "Imma go take a shower then." He crossed the room to where she stood and pulled her close.  
Bella breathed in his scent and instantly fell back into the blissful state she'd been in earlier this morning.

"Can I borrow your towel?" he whispered in her ear.

Bella nodded raking her eyes over his body. She kissed his chest as he wrapped the towel around himself.

"You're so beautiful," he said looking her up and down with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Not now, Jasper," she said again, more firmly this time.

"Oh, alright. I don't know how you expect me to resist you when you're standing there all naked with your hair and makeup all done up."

Bella laughed. "Go take your shower, you horndog."

Jasper bent down and kissed her nose before heading out the door.

The Bella went to her bag and pulled out a pair jeans, a fitted black button up shirt and her super comfy black ballet flats. She promised herself as she dressed that she would put all of her focus into Jasper and she'd try to ignore Edward all together.

Jasper closed the bathroom door. It was still steamy form Bella's shower. He smiled as he thought about last night and Bella's perfect body. He wished she would have waited to take a shower with him.

That was when the gray sweatshirt on the floor caught his eye. Edward's sweatshirt. He picked it up from the floor. At first, he thought nothing of it. Edward had always been a little on the messy side because Jasper had always been around to clean up after him. But then Jasper realized the hoodie smelled kind of like Bella. Then he remembered the guilty panicked look on her face when she'd come into the bedroom.

Bella and Edward had been in this bathroom together. Edward had had Bella in his arms. And who knows what else they'd done. Jasper saw red. At the moment he was ready to beat the shit out of Edward.

But he knew he couldn't do that. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving. And he so rarely came home to see his parents. If he and his brother were fighting it would make things awkward. Besides his parents always took Edward's side on everything.

Since they were kids anytime Edward did something to him their parents would say:

"Now, Jasper, you know he didn't mean it."

Or

"Jasper, you know Edward just wants to be like his older brother."

Stuff like that. He couldn't actually figure out how his parents would take Edward's side on the whole stealing his girlfriend thing, but he was sure they'd find a way. They'd probably tell him he was imagining things, overreacting. Edward was just being friendly.

Jasper sighed and got into the show. He'd have to wait to confront Edward. He didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving. Maybe he'd confront Bella first. Give her a chance to explain.

He let the hot water run over his body, but it didn't relax him. It was a far cry from the idyllic state he woken up in this morning. He couldn't wait to get back to California, far away from Edward.

* * *

_A/N: There you have it. Hmmm... _


	7. Perfection

_A/N: Thank you so much to those that reviewed! Just remember, I haven't decided on final pairings yet. Also, thank you to those who have favorited this story and those who have added it to their alert. You'll never know how much I appreciate it._

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Bella found her way to the kitchen. She wasn't really hungry, but she figured everyone else would be so she decided to make breakfast. She looked around. This was the biggest kitchen she'd ever been in. But she wasn't intimated. The kitchen was the only lace she'd ever felt at home. It was odd how it was the only place she felt free. The only place she felt whole and real. She loved cooking.

She opened the refrigerator and decided she would make banana nut pancakes and chocolate chip muffins. She located all of the ingredients and supplies and then began cooking, humming to herself as she went along.

Alice stood in the doorway watching Bella work. It was obvious that cooking brought her joy. And it was also plain to see just why Jasper loved this girl. She sighed loudly causing Bella to spin around.

"Oh," Bella said, "it's you." Her tone wasn't nasty, but it wasn't nice either. Not that Alice blamed her.

"Yes, it's me," Alice said sweeping into the kitchen and taking a seat on one of the barstools that lined the counter. "What are you cooking?" Okay, so it was weird to chat up the girlfriend of your soul mate, but Alice had never been _normal._ And besides she hated when people didn't like her. Especially people she felt so drawn to, as was the case with Bella.

"Pancakes." Bella's answer was curt.

Alice sighed again. "Bella, I am very sorry about yesterday," she apologized.

Bella just gave her an icy stare.

"I'd like a chance to start over, if you don't mind. Something tells me we could be great friends."

"Should I be friends with someone who wants my boyfriend?"

She had a point, but Alice had an answer. "I'm sure many of your friends want your boyfriend. You just don't know it. In fact, I'm willing to bet that if you ask Jasper, many of them have even made moves on him." She looked at Bella who was busying herself mixing the pancake batter.

Alice continued her speech, "That's one thing you'd never have to worry about with me. As long as he's your boyfriend, I promise you I will never try anything."

Bella looked up at her. Her eyes were cautious, but Alice could tell she was softening.

"How do you know my friends hit on Jasper?" Her voice was small and showed every bit of insecurity Bella had.

"He's hot," Alice said simply. "Besides I'm guessing you don't really have any close friends."

Bella shook her head. Alice nodded. Bella was very easy to read for the most part.

"After breakfast, you and I should go shopping and let the boys have some quality time."  
"That's a great idea," Bella agreed. She couldn't help herself, but she really like Alice. And oddly, she completely believed everything she said. She could see now why it had been so easy for Edward to invite a complete stranger home. Alice was almost hypnotic. She was like a perfect little ray of sunshine. Bella wasn't even mad at her anymore about what had happened yesterday between her and Jasper. Which was even more strange.

"You should know, I hate shopping," Bella informed Alice.

"Hate shopping!" Alice practically screeched. "How can you hate shopping?"

Bella shrugged.

"You're gonna love it when I'm through with you. She laughed. "So, since you're going shopping with me, maybe I should help you cook?"

"Sure, that'd be great."

"What do you need me to do?"  
"Can you chop up the walnuts for me?"

"Sure!"

And the two of them worked, chattering away and getting to know each other a little more.

"Mmm! It smells amazing in here," Edward said entering the kitchen.

"Thanks," Bella said not looking up from what she was doing. She didn't want to look at Edward.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Edward staring at her. She was glad when Jasper walked in and Edward had to look away.

"Hey, baby," She said wiping her hands and going to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, but Jasper didn't reciprocate. His body was tense.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Jasper didn't say anything and Bella let him go. She wondered if he was acting this way because Alice was in the room. But when she followed his gaze, he was glaring at Edward.

Edward was unaware, he was laughing with Alice. But the look in Jasper's eyes scared Bella. She'd never seen it before.

"Did you kids make breakfast?"

As soon as Carlisle walked in the room Jasper's expression changed.

"Bella and Alice made it," Edward told him.

"Well, mostly Bella," Alice admitted.

"It smells delicious," Esme said joining her husband.

"Thank you," Bella said still looking at Jasper. His expression was blank. She reached for his hand, but he pulled it away from her. Bella fought back the tears that threatened to spill over as she went over the events of the morning. She tried to figure out what it was she had done to upset him. Was it breakfast? She was pretty sure she hadn't done anything earlier. It had been a good morning so far.

Bella wanted to badly to ask Jasper what she'd done, but she couldn't open that conversation in front of his parents. Instead she went back to the counter to finish up the muffins and pancakes.

Alice was by her side in an instant. She patted Bella's hand and shot her a look that told her she would always be by her side from now on, no matter what. It made Bella relax a little. And then the two of them served breakfast.

"So, Jasper, how is school going?" Carlisle asked.

"Fine," Jasper replied. His tone was lifeless and the worry crept up in Bella once again.

"Are you keeping your grades up?"

"Yes, of course," he said in the same monotonous tone.

Everyone else sat silently, eating their food while Carlisle went on questioning Jasper for the next 10 minutes.

To Bella it seemed odd how Carlisle's focus was entirely on Jasper. But then, maybe he'd already had this conversation with Edward. He just hadn't had the chance to talk to Jasper yet. She remembered that Jasper had once told her that his parents had always expected nothing less than perfection. And she remembered what Edward had told her last night about Carlisle pushing them into majors that were "practical". She looked around at the four of them. Their family was the very definition of perfect.

Carlisle and Esme were smart, loving, attentive parents. Jasper and Edward were both smart, hardworking and they obeyed their parents. Not to mention that they were all incredibly beautiful people. They loved each other and cared about each other very much.

Bella could feel the lump forming in her throat. How she wished she could be part of their perfect family. Part of anything that even resembled a family.

"Bella, honey, are you alright?"

Esme's voice brought Bella out of her reverie. "I'm fine thank you."

"You've hardly touched your food."

"Oh…I…uh…" Bella stuttered her face blazing red, squirming under Esme's concerned stare.

"She tastes as she's cooking" Jasper's gruff answer saved her.

Bella shot him a grateful look and Jasper shook his head.

"Oh, I see," Esme said. "Well, the food is just wonderful," she said before turning to start a conversation with Alice.

"May we be excused?" Jasper asked.

"Of course," Carlisle told him.

Jasper stood clearing his and Bella's dishes. Bella followed him. After their plates had been rinsed, the two of them headed upstairs.

"Jasper, what's going on with you?" Bella asked as soon as his door was closed.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," Jasper told her.

"Did I do something?"

"Damn it, Bella! I said I don't want to talk about it right now!" He turned toward her and felt sick when he saw her shrink away from him.

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered reaching for her. "I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. What do you say you and I go into the city and I'll show you some stuff."

Bella shook her head. "I promised Alice I'd go shopping with her and let you and your brother spend some time together."

At the mention of Edward Jasper started to get agitated again. "I don't want to spend time with that mother fucker," he spat.

"Jasper…"

He cut her off. "Never mind. We'll talk about that later. I want to talk about you not eating at breakfast."

"I wasn't hungry," Bella said getting defensive.

"I've heard that before. I thought we were past all that."

"I am. I swear. I just wasn't hungry."

Jasper pulled her tight into his arms and stroked her face. "You better know, I'll be watching you twice as much now." As mad as he was about the whole Edward thing, he still cared about Bella.

After their first few dates it had become painfully obvious that although Bella enjoyed cooking, eating was a completely different story. It had really worried him. And he decided he had to talk to her about it.

It was the one time he remembered Bella being completely open and vulnerable with him. She was completely honest with him about it. It was a battle she'd been fighting by herself for years. He had promised her she would no longer have to fight by herself. That now it would be his battle too.

And as far as he'd known she had been doing so well. But then maybe she'd just gotten really good at hiding it from him. He had a sinking feeling that that was the case.

Bella was nodding at him and once again he had the feeling that she was hiding more from him than he could possibly imagine.

* * *

_A/N: I don't know when I'll be able to update again. I have to figure out where to go from here. Let me know what you guys are thinking!_


	8. Trouble and Shopping

_A/N: Thank you again to those who are reading. Thank you to SadHoser for pointing out my mistake. Sometimes I'm so into writing and imagining the scene in my head that I call one of the character by the actors name who portrayed them in the movie. Sorry about that. I usually reread before I post, but sometimes I still miss the mistake. I appreciate everyone who has favorited or put this story on alert. I'm looking forward to hearing what more of you think so far. With that, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!_

* * *

"_The trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out like fun." -anonymous_

Alice finished her breakfast and then helped Esme and Edward cleanup the rest of the kitchen. Then she and Edward headed to the living room.

"Bella and I are going shopping today," she informed Edward.

"Okay."

"I thought maybe you and Jasper could use some time…"

"Use some time? You make it sound like we're fighting."  
"You're not?"  
"No. Why would you think that?"

"Well… the way he was glaring at you when you came into the kitchen."

"He was glaring at me?" Edward looked genuinely surprised.

Alice nodded. "Like you killed his puppy or something. What did you do?"

"I don't know. I didn't know he was mad at me."

"Well, I'm gonna go get Bella. You need to figure out what it is you did and make up for it."

Edward nodded before Alice disappeared from the room. She climbed the staircase and knocked on Jasper's door.

"Come in," Bella called.

Alice peeked around the door. Bella was sitting cross-legged on the bed. She was by herself.

"Whatcha doin?" Alice asked skipping across the room to the bed and sitting down next to Bella.

"Nothing. Thinking."

"About?"

"Life?"

Alice gave Bella a look that said she didn't quite believe her. "Uh-huh. This is an interesting room," she said changing the subject.

"Yeah. You know, Jasper never told me he was an artist."

"Jasper did this?"

"Mmhmm…"

"Well, come on." Alice grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her from the bed. Bella was thinking about Jasper it appeared. But Alice wondered what exactly. It hadn't escaped her notice earlier that she had done most of the talking. Not that that was unusual for Alice. She usually did most of the talking. But this morning Bella had offered nothing more about herself than that she was from Seattle also. Alice hoped by the end of the day she'd have Bella opening up a little more.

*********

Edward ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. He was going to have to face Jasper sooner or later. He supposed it was better to clear the air than to let things simmer.

As he got up to go find Jasper he heard voices in the hallway. He recognized one of them as Jasper's. The other was familiar, but he couldn't place it. He looked around the door frame and was shocked to see James standing in the hallway talking to Jasper.

James was bad news. He and Jasper had been friends in high school and the two of them had gotten into quite a bit of trouble.

Edward remembered the first time, nearly five year ago.

_Edward, honey," Esme called, "can you get the phone for me?"_

_"Yeah, sure, Mom." Edward picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
"Edward? Edward, it's Jasper."_

_"Oh, man. Where are you? Mom and Dad are kinda pissed that you're not home yet."_

_"Um… Edward, I'm in jail."_

_"You're what!" Edward shouted into the phone._

_"Will you be quiet? Dad might hear you."_

_"Jasper, what did you do?"_

_"It's a long story… you gotta put Mom on the phone. Don't tell Dad anything."_

_Edward went to get their mother. He handed hi mother the phone and then stood quietly listening to his mother's side of the conversation _

_Esme began pacing. "You're where?" Esme gasped. "You did what!"… "Wait until your father finds out."…"Of course I'm going to tell your father."…"I don't care who started it."… "Well, you won't be seeing him anymore. Not as long as you're in my house."…"Your father and I will be there soon."_

_And then she hung up the phone. _

_"Mom, what did he do?" Edward asked. _

_Esme looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. "Edward, promise me you'll always be a good boy," she said pulling him into a firm embrace._

_"I promise, Mom."_

_"Your brother and his friend James were caught vandalizing a school." She shook her head. "I thought I raised you boys better than that. He's in so much trouble when he gets home."_

And Jasper had been grounded for a month for that stunt. But the house was so big he snuck out often. That had been just the beginning. The school hadn't pressed charges because neither of the boys had a previous record. Yet. The next year Jasper got suspended from school repeatedly and almost didn't graduate. Carlisle had been livid and poor Esme was beside herself, trying to figure out what they'd done wrong.

If they saw James here today they would go ballistic.

Edward stepped into the hallway and cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Oh, hey Eddie," James said with a smirk.

"Edward," he corrected.

"Oh, sorry. Spedward."

Edward shot daggers with his eyes. He remembered this part all too well. James had always picked on Edward while Jasper did nothing to stop it.

"What's he doing here?" Edward asked tersely.

Jasper shrugged. "We're hanging out. Get lost."

Edward looked at his brother. He hated _this _Jasper. It had been awhile since this Jasper had come around. In fact, Edward thought he was gone completely.

"Jasper, Mom and Dad are gonna freak if they know you are hanging out with this asshole."

"It's none of their fucking business," Jasper told Edward as he pushed past him.

"What about Bella?"

Jasper stopped and turned back to face Edward. "Guess you'll have to take care of that, huh?" His voice was dripping with venom. Then he turned, following James to the door.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edward called after him. But Jasper didn't turn around.

Edward ran his hand through his hair and exhaled heavily. So Jasper had noticed his crush on Bella. Damn. That was bad.

"Bella, you're so quiet," Alice said picking up a silk blouse from the rack and holding it against herself.

Bella shrugged. "I guess I don't have much to say."

"Really?"

Bella looked at Alice who looked concerned and laughed. ""Not everyone talks as much as you do, Alice."

Alice laughed too. "Yes, I know. But you've hardly said anything all day. You talk less than anyone I've ever met. Why don't you tell me your major?"

"Music," Bella said quickly. "Vocal performance," she added shyly.

"Wow, that must be interesting. So you like singing?"

Bella shrugged again.

Alice huffed. "Come on, Bella! You're not making this easy," she said holding up a pair of jeans.

"Sure. I like singing."

"What do you plan to do once you get your degree?"

"I don't know. Probably nothing. Jasper will be going to medical school after this year. I plan to follow him wherever he goes."

"You don't plan to finish school?"

"Come on. It's not like there's that many thing a degree in vocal performance can lead to. When I moved to California I was looking to make a name for myself. Escape my past." As soon as Bella said it, she regretted it. She saw Alice's expression change and se knew it would lead to a whole new line of questioning. Maybe if she kept talking Alice would forget the slip.

"I wanted to be a star. But I met Jasper and we hit it off right away. So I kinda lost interest. Now I just do it because I'm biding my time." It hit Bella that maybe it was weird to talk about her boyfriend to a girl who wanted him. Alice didn't seem to mind and it was successfully distracting her from the other subject.

"You've been together how long?"

"Just over two years," Bella replied.

"And you… love him?"

Oh. There it was. Bella saw Alice's face momentarily screw up in pain. She quickly smoothed her expression, but Bella had seen it. She'd seen how hard it was for her to ask that question. And Bella felt odd again.

"Yes, I do," she said in a small voice." She didn't want to add to Alice's pain. Hers was a face that looked strange in pain. It shouldn't ever be in pain. But she couldn't just step aside and let Alice have her boyfriend. She knew Alice had meant what she said in the kitchen earlier about not trying anything on Jasper while they were still together. But would Bella always feel this bad for talking about Jasper to Alice. How could they be friends with this weird dynamic between them? She genuinely liked Alice though and now she couldn't imagine her life without her. This was going to be tough.

"What do you think of this shirt?" Bella changed the subject by grabbing the first thing that touched her hand.

"Oh, no, Bella. That color is all wrong for you. And that's totally not your size."

The tension in the room seemed to be gone now and Alice was off putting together Bella's perfect outfit.

Bella giggled at how alive Alice was when she was shopping. When Bella tried on the finished project she had to admit Alice was good. She had picked out the perfect outfit.

"Damn, Alice," Bella said, "If I could make myself look like this I might actually enjoy shopping. I look great."

"You look amazing. And don't feel bad, sweetie, most people don't have my gift for fashion." Her tinkling laughter filled the air.

"You're amazing."

"Yes, I know." The two of them dissolved in giggles.

"Come on, Bella. Let's pay for this stuff and get something to eat."

* * *

_A/N: Alright guys, let me hear your thoughts!_


	9. Jane

_A/N: Hey guys. So, here's the new chapter. Are you excited to see what twist this takes now? haha. I just wanted to let you know that this has been one of the hardest stories for me to write. Mainly because when I write I'm usally inspired by a specific song. And this time, nothing So I'm writing from my own imagination. Haha. If any songs come to mind while you're reading this, feel free to let me know. Maybe it will make the writing come a little easier. _

_I just want to take a moment to share some wonderful stories with you guys from other author's on this site. These stories are rocking my world. _

_Just a Call Away by Hannah81_

4982312

_Faking It by spanglemaker9 (This is one of the best stories I've ever read, regardless of subject)_

_5153711_

_Medication by MojoPen_

.5065725

_Asthenia by Annaliese Marie_

5372816

_And over at Twilighted: Never Sleep in A Strange Man's Bed by WndrngY_

_Anyway, enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

"_You can imagine his surprise_

_When he saw his own eyes"_

_-All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You by Heart-_

Jasper had decided to call James. He knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but he didn't want to deal with the problems the holiday had brought on. And James was the perfect antidote. Or at least he was good for forgetting.

He didn't particularly like James. But when they were younger he always knew where the best parties were and where to get the alcohol. Sure, he'd gotten into a lot of trouble with James. But he was sure they'd both grown up since high school. He had anyway.

"What do you wanna do?" James asked as they got into James' truck.

"I don't care." Jasper always felt a little bad for the way James treated Edward. He was mad at him, but he still didn't like when others were mean to his brother. He pushed that thought aside. The bastard deserved it for hitting on his girlfriend.

"I know this great bar. The waitresses are hot."

"Alright. Let's go then."

The bar was a little hole in the wall place in a rundown part of town. But Jasper had to hand it to James the waitresses were hot.

As luck would have it, their waitress looked a lot like Bella. Of course she did. Because it wouldn't be right if Jasper weren't tortured by her all night. The girl had the same mahogany hair and big brown eyes. Although her eyes had no where near the depth Bella's had and they weren't exactly the same color. But she had the same peaches and cream skin and a tiny waist.

How the hell would he forget his problems with a constant reminder right in front of him. He needed to do some heavy drinking to forget tonight.

"Damn." Jasper said more to himself than James. "She looks a lot like Bella."

"Your Bella? Fuck, she's hot."

"Shut the fuck up," Jasper spat.

"Chill. Let's order our drinks."

James waved the waitress over and ordered a beer. Jasper was in the mood for straight whiskey.

One of the reasons Jasper hung out with James was that he didn't talk a lot. Tonight was no different. James sat across from him, nursing his beer and hitting on the women who came past the table while Jasper pounded shot after shot.

"Hey Jasper."

Jasper looked at James. His voice sounded suddenly very high and feminine.

"Jasper.

James' lips hadn't moved. Jasper hadn't realized he was that drunk already. "How the fuck did you do that?" he asked.

James looked at him like he was crazy. "Who are you talking to?

At that moment a tiny blonde reached the table. She looked vaguely familiar to Jasper. He rummaged around his whiskey soaked brain trying to find her identity.

"Jasper, I haven't seen you around in awhile." It was the same high voice from moments ago.

It dawned on Jasper that it hadn't been James talking to him, it had been this blonde. He chuckled at the realization.

"Cuz I haven't been around," he said slurring his words a little. "Who are you?"

The blonde looked extremely offended. "You don't remember me? How could you forget me?"

"Jane?"

The tiny blonde nodded.

Jane was Jasper's ex girlfriend. He hadn't seen her since the summer before he left for college. They'd been pretty serious at one point.

"How've you been, Jasper?"

"I've been alright," he said as his eyes raked over Jane's body. They'd had some pretty wild times together and he was remembering them now.

"Hey, Janey," James growled.

"Uh, Jasper can we go somewhere and talk?" she asked without acknowledging James.

"Um…" Jasper knew very well that going with her could lead to trouble. He wasn't drunk enough to believe that it wouldn't. But he was drunk enough not to care.

"Yeah, sure. Let's go." He followed Jane to her car.

They settled in and both were silent for most of the ride.

Jane pulled into the lot of a rundown apartment building.

"I've been looking for you, Jasper," she said softly.

"You have?" he looked at her confused.

"Your parents refused to give me any of your contact information."

That made sense. Esme and Carlisle had disliked Jane because she was a bit of a wild child.

"They told me you'd moved on and had forgotten all about me, which I guess is true," Jane continued. She looked at Jasper. Her face was sad and tired.

"What's her name?" she asked.

"Bella," Jasper said after a moments hesitation.

Jane sighed taking Jasper's hand and leading him into the building. They climbed a long narrow staircase and came to a door at the end of an equally narrow hallway.

Jane turned to face Jasper. "There was a reason I was trying to find you."

Jasper looked at her stupidly.

"Come on," she sighed opening the door.

Jasper followed her and then stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell upon a small blonde child with big eyes the same ice blue as his own.

Jasper's mouth fell open as his mind made sense of what he was seeing.

"Jasper…"

Jane's voice sounded far away. She reached out and touched his arm. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.

"My daughter?" His voice cracked as he said it. He was in disbelief.

"Yes," was Jane's reply.

"When…how?" Jasper couldn't even form a complete sentence he was in such shock.

"Right before we broke up. You remember?"

He did remember. He'd snuck out of his house to see her. They'd gone to her house because he parents were out of town. They'd had sex, nothing romantic. Just plain sex. Then he'd broken up with her because he didn't want to be tied down when he went off to college.

All he could do was nod his head.

The little girl who had been occupied playing with the babysitter turned to Jasper. "Are you my daddy?" The four-year-old child asked.

Jasper nodded and squatted down so that he was level with the girl. It was so strange to be looking into his own eyes. He cleared his throat, "What's your name?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Kate," the little girl whispered back as she stepped closer to Jasper reaching out her hand.

"I've been waiting for you," the girl declared s se pressed her little hand to Jasper's cheek.

Jasper brought his hand to hers and held it against his face. He was unsure of what to say. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he had a daughter. That he'd missed the first four years of Kate's life.

"Alright, Katie, it's time for bed," Jane's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Goodnight, Daddy," Kate said standing on her tiptoes to kiss Jasper's cheek.

"Goodnight, Katie," Jasper managed. It was a surreal sensation to be called Daddy.

Jane picked up the little girl and carried her to bed leaving Jasper alone, kneeling on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Jane asked kneeling in front Jasper.

"I… I don't know. He brought his eyes up to meet Jane's. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know. I understand."

"Did you tell my family?"

Jane nodded. "I tried. I tried to talk to them, but they didn't want to listen to me. They told me I was lying. I'd given up hope of you ever knowing. But I've never hidden anything from Kate. She knows about you and she knows it's not your fault that you weren't around."

Jasper nodded as he struggled internally with his next words. "I want to be," he said surprising himself. He was angry with his parents for not at least making him aware of the situation. Although he doubted his reaction would have been much different from theirs if he hadn't seen Kate's eyes.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do." He did. How could he let his daughter grow up without a father?

"What about your girlfriend, Bella?'

Jasper sucked in a sharp breath. He'd forgotten Bella again. She hadn't crossed his mind since Jane had asked about her and that was only for a fleeting moment. In his head he'd been imagining how it would be to have a daughter. How he would raise her. Bella had been absent from those thoughts. Instead Alice had been in her place.

Jasper groaned out loud. "I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"I'm sure she won't hold it against you. It happened before you knew her."

Jasper nodded. Jane didn't know what was going through his head so he just left it at that.

"Can I stay her tonight?" He couldn't go home. Not yet. There was too much to deal with and he needed sleep before it could be dealt with.

"Sure. I guess so."

Jane set Jasper up on the couch. As she turned to leave Jasper said, "Hey Jane."

"Yes Jasper?"

"Would you and Katie join me for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?"

"Oh… I don't know. What about your family?"

Kate is my family too and as her mother I'm sure she'd be more comfortable with you there. Besides, I'd like it if you were."

"Okay. I guess we will then."  
Jasper knew this would ruffle quite a few feathers. As much as he hadn't wanted to ruin Thanksgiving before, he didn't see anyway around it now. He figured the whole family could just get everything out in the open now, consequences be damned.

* * *

_A/N: Reviews? Oh, and I haven't forgotten about Bella's secret. We'll get to that probably in the next chapter. _


	10. Haunted

_A/N: Okay, so this chapter is kinda short. Thanks for reading so far. I appreciate it. Although I would love a little more feedback. _

_Anyway, quickly, here are a few more recomendations for you:_

_Not Meant to Be Broken by IWantAWerewolfForMyself_

_and_

_Its Only His Baby by Juliamine._

_Both great stories and very well written. Check them out._

* * *

_You said, "Oh girl, its a cold world_

_When you keep it all to yourself."_

_Said "You can't hide on the inside_

_All the pain you've ever felt."_

_-Shadows of the Night by Pat Benatar-_

Bella and Alice arrived back at the Cullen's just after they'd finished dinner.

"I'm sorry, girls," Esme apologized. "I assumed you'd be eating out."

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Cullen. We did," Alice assured her.

"Um, where's Jasper?" Bella asked.

"Catching up with old friends according to Edward," Esme told her.

"Oh, okay."

"Come on, Bella. Let's find Edward and watch a movie," Alice said grabbing Bella's hand and leading her from the room.

"Have fun girls," Esme called after them.

Bella had thought that Jasper and Edward would be spending time together. She was a bit hurt that Jasper hadn't at least called her to tell her he was going out. She had wanted to talk about earlier.

"Hey Edward!" Alice called cheerily as she bounded into the living room.

"Hey Alice. Bella."

"Wanna watch a movie?" Alice asked collapsing on the couch next to Edward.

Bella awkwardly took a seat on the floor in front of the loveseat.

"Sure, what'd you have in mind?"  
Edward and Alice debated movie choices and Bella pulled out her cell to send Jasper a text message.

"_Hey baby. Where r u? I miss u. Waned to talk. – B"_

She hit send and then put the phone back in her pocket to wait for his reply. She looked up to see Edward staring at her.

"He went out with his friend James."

Bella picked up on the disgust in his voice.

"It's not uncommon for Jasper to be out all night with him."

"Oh." Jasper had to come home tonight. She'd never be able to sleep without him. Before she met Jasper she suffered from horrible nightmares. Only these nightmares weren't just simply bad dreams. She was reliving her past in her sleep. She'd frequently woken herself up crying and screaming. She'd been so nervous about staying the night with Jasper the first time for that reason. But with him by her side the nightmares became bearable. They weren't gone by any means, but they were less vivid. She didn't scream out in her sleep and she barely even talked anymore.

Bella was terrified that if Jasper was not by her side tonight the nightmares would come back full force.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said collecting herself.

"We're gonna watch some zombie movie. Is that okay?"

"Sure," Bella agreed.

"I'm gonna go make some popcorn," Edward said getting up and leaving the room.

"Edward doesn't like this James guy," Alice said as soon as he was gone.

"I gathered that," Bella said.

"I don't blame him."

Bella was surprised. "You know him?"

"No, but I can feel his aura her in the room."

Bella looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

"What?" Alice asked innocently. "One thing you'll learn about me it that I'm almost never wrong."

Bella bit her lip and nodded slowly trying not to laugh.

"Isabella Swan, you will not laugh at me!" Alice scolded.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Oh!" Alice said suddenly. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay, sure."

"Your eating disorder."

"My wh…what?" Bella stuttered as she turned bright red.

"How did it start? You're not fat."

"I don't have an eating disorder, Alice," Bella denied.

Alice took a deep breath and exhaled as she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "You'll never get over your problems if you don't talk about them."

"I don't have any problems."

"Right and Edward doesn't have great sex hair."

Bella giggled a little despite herself. "Alice, I don't have an eating disorder…anymore."

"Anymore? Then how come you hardly at all day?"  
"Well, yeah. I still struggle with it sometimes." Mostly when I feel like things are out of my control. Its something I can control. But most of the time I'm alright."

"So, it's still an issue?"

"Very rarely," Bella said as Edward come back into the room. She let out a sigh of relief. Alice looked as if she still had more to say.

"Very rarely what?" Edward asked.

"Girl talk," Alice answered promptly grabbing a handful of popcorn.

Bella followed suit hoping to convince Alice. She hadn't lied. She only struggled sometimes. When she was feeling particularly stressed. Today was one of those days.

Edward put the DVD on and turned off the lights. Bella laid her head back and spent the next two hours wrapped up inside her own head.

"_Where's your sister?" Bella heard Phil ask._

"_I don't know where she is. And if I did I wouldn't fucking tell you," Emmett snapped. _

_Bella smiled. She knew her brother would never rat her out. _

"_Boy, watch how yer talkin' to me!"_

_Bella cringed. She hated the sound of Phil's voice. _

_Emmett laughed a loud, rumbling laugh. "I'm not afraid of you!" he roared. And then his voice turned deadly serious. "But if you touch my sister again, I will kill you."_

_Bella could feel the tension in the room from her hiding spot on the floor of the pantry. She held her breath as she heard footsteps past the door. She prayed Phil wouldn't find her. It would just make him angrier to know she'd been hiding from him. The footsteps faded into the distance and Bella released her breath and relaxed just a little. _

_Then she gasped and prepared to scream as the door to the pantry swung open. _

_Emmett quickly put his hand over her mouth, stifling it. "Shhh. Its me kind. Fucker went out back for a minute. Hurry and you can get to your room. _

_Bella jumped to her feet. She shot her brother a grateful look and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She wished she had a lock on her door, but Phil wouldn't allow it and her mother went along with it. _

_That was an entirely separate issue for Bella. Renee had been a good mother before she met Phil. Bella, Emmett and Renee had survived her father Charlie's death together and done very well on their own. They struggled a bit with money and such, but the love in their family was never short. Having lost Charlie is such a sudden way, they appreciated each other and cherished each other that much more, knowing tomorrow was not promised. _

_And then Renee met Phil._

_At first he seemed wonderful, the answer their prayers. A steady income from a local factory and a daddy figure Renee's teenagers were in need of._

_But as soon as the wedding ring was on Renee's finger things changed. Renee's world revolved around pleasing Phil. He could do no wrong. And when he wasn't drinking, Bella agreed. He wasn't bad. But the drinking was becoming a more frequent problem. And Phil was increasingly forceful and violent with Bella. _

_When Bella tried to tell her mother what was going on Renee wasn't having it. Her exact words were "I've been lonely long enough, Bella. I don't need you ruining my happiness with your lies."_

_Since Emmett had left for college shortly after the wedding, Bella was on her own. Emmett had been away for a few years, choosing to explore his independence. But he was home now and he'd known immediately something was wrong with his sister. She wasn't the same girl he'd left home three years before. It had taken some time, but he'd finally gotten the truth out of her. And he'd spent the last two weeks protecting her. And Bella was thankful. _

_She changed into her pajamas glancing nervously at the door every few seconds. And then she crawled into bed pulling the blankets tight around her. _

_Bella felt her eyelids growing heavy. Usually she would fight sleep as long as possible, but with Emmett around she felt safe. She let her eyes slide closed and prepared to let sleep claim her when suddenly her door flew open with a loud bang. _

"_Where you been hidin', you lil cock tease?" Phil yelled at her._

"_Please! No!" Bella screamed sitting up and inching toward the corner of her bed. She pulled her knees to her chest and began crying._

"_Shut up you lil bitch!" he sneered at her. He lumbered over to her and pulled her up by her hair._

"_Please! Let me go!" Bella sobbed._

"_I like it when ya beg."_

_Bella cringed. _

"_I told you if you touched her again I'd kill you!"_

_Emmett had appeared in Bella's doorway and he was holding Charlie's shotgun. The one Charlie had used on all of his hunting trips. Emmett was aiming right at Phil's head._

"_EMMETT! NO!" _

* * *

_A/N: Sort of a little cliffhanger. Reviews make me update faster. They give me a reason to continue writing. _


	11. I Think You're Hiding Something

_A/N: So here's the next chapter. It's a little shorter than the others. But that's because it was extremely difficult to write. I hope you can follow along with me. _

_Oh and thank you again for the reviews. Your enthusiasm is definately appreciated._

* * *

_You could keep hiding_

_Or talk instead_

_And quell the angry mob_

_That's inside your head_

_-I Think You're Hiding Something by Jesse Harris-_

"Bella. Bella! Wake up!" Edward and Alice were both trying to shake her awake.

Bella's eyes flew open and she was gasping for air like she'd just ran a race.

"Bella, you're okay. Calm down. It was just a bad dream." Edward said putting his arm around her, trying to soothe her.

Bella looked up at him. Her big brown eyes were wide with terror. He wasn't sure if she was aware of where she was yet. She had stopped screaming, but her breathing hadn't slowed. She was on the verge of hyperventilating.

Suddenly Bella threw her arms around Edward's neck and began sobbing uncontrollably. Edward and Alice exchanged a look of confusion as Edward rubbed small circles on Bella's back and Alice stroked her hair.

Edward hadn't realized the zombie movie would scare Bella that much. But who was Emmett? There wasn't an Emmett in the movie and Bella kept screaming the name Emmett in a southern accent.

"Bella, honey, you're okay," he said softly into her ear. "No one's going to hurt you," he said still rubbing her back.

Bella's sobs were beginning to quiet down. And soon she was just sniffling, but her grip on Edward did not loosen.

"I'm gonna go get some water," Alice said standing up and walking out of the room.

"I'm sorry," Bella said pulling away from Edward.

"It's alright. Are you okay?"  
Bella nodded.

"It was just a dream," Edward told her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Bella reached up and placed her hand on his, holding it to her cheek and closing her eyes.

"Zombies aren't real," Edward whispered.

Bella's eyes flew open. "Zombies?"

She looked confused and Edward realized she hadn't been dreaming about zombies.

"You weren't dreaming about zombies?"

Bella's face flushed and she bit her lip. "Yeah, zombies. I was," she stammered.

The zombie movie would've been a good cover up if she had remembered they'd been watching it. The look on Edward's face told her he didn't believe her. But her dream had been so vivid she hadn't even realized she was dreaming. She'd been so embarrassed to wake up and find Edward and Alice looking at her, startled.  
She hadn't expected to fall asleep while watching the movie. And as she feared, without Jasper's calming presence the nightmares came back full force. It had been so long since she'd had one that felt so real that she'd forgotten the affects they had on her. How even after she woke up she still felt trapped in that time. And the overwhelming sense of guilt that enveloped her. She'd forgotten how she'd sit in bed and sob for hours at a time after she woke up.

And tonight had been no different. As much as she'd wanted to not react to the chaos in her head, she couldn't help it.

And she hadn't even been thinking when she grabbed a hold of Edward and started sobbing into his chest. She'd just been trying to find relief And unlike times before, it came. Edward's arms around her and his smooth soothing voice had brought relief from the crushing pain she was feeling.

Once the relief came her surroundings came back to her and she was embarrassed once again. And now that she'd flubbed the zombie excuse she knew there was going to be no easy way out of explaining things.

"No you weren't. Come on Bella, you can tell me." She was still visibly shaken, although her breathing had returned almost to normal. Whatever she had been dreaming about had really scared her.

Bella released his hand that she had still been clutching and shook her head.

"Who is this Emmett you were yelling about?" Edward had decided direct questions were the only way to get answers.

Bella blushed even deeper and looked down, but didn't answer.

"Is he an ex-boyfriend?"

"No," Bella said delicately.

Edward saw Alice come into the room and then quickly turned around and left again. He loved Alice. He knew she could sense that he was trying to get answers out of Bella.

"Did he hurt you?"

Bella shook her head vigorously and sighed. "Emmett is my older brother."

"Okay,' Edward said a little confused. Jasper had led him to believe Bella was an only child.

So, Bella was having a nightmare about her older brother. He chose to get her talking about Emmett. Maybe he could put the puzzle pieces together with a little more information.

"So, you have an older brother, huh?"

Bella nodded.

"Jasper didn't mention you had a brother."

"He doesn't know," Bella said quietly.

"He doesn't know you have a brother!"

"It never came up!"

Edward had to relax. Bella was starting to get defensive and she'd never tell him anything.

"Right. It just surprised me. You guys have been together a long time. So, why hasn't Jasper met your brother?"

"Mmm…"

Edward sensed her hesitation. He reached for her hand and rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of it. "It's alright, Bella. I promise I won't tell anybody."

Bella looked up into his eyes, his beautiful green eyes. She felt like she could trust Edward. It was an awe-inspiring feeling. Looking at Edward she realized she'd never even debated telling Jasper about her past. Not even once. And yet here she was considering spilling all of her secrets to his brother, almost a complete stranger to her. She was a terrible girlfriend. Why did she feel she could trust Edward and not Jasper, her boyfriend of over two years?

"Bella?" Edwards's velvet voice was soft, silky and comforting.

"My brother is… away. I haven't seen him in years."

"So, you guys aren't close?"

"We're very close," she said emphatically. "We talk every day."

"But you never visit him and he never visits you?"

Bella shook her head. "It's my fault."

"What is you fault?"

"Why I never see Emmett… Why he can't come see me," her voice was quiet.

"Bella, I don't understand."

Bella opened her mouth and then closed it. She was on the verge of spilling her entire past. Edward was making it too easy for her. This had been her secret burden for so long. Could she really just let it all out?

How good would it feel to finally share her load with someone else? To free herself from even just the littlest bit of ache?

She looked down at her hand which Edward still held firmly in his.

"Please, Bella…" Edward said, using his other hand he put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up so that her eyes met his once again.

Alice stood in the hallway, silently watching and listening. She sighed softly. Bella were perfect for each other. She and Jasper were meant to be together. If she could just get everyone to see that, they could all be happy.

She heard Bella say, "It's a long story."

Followed by Edward, "I've got all night."

Alice smiled to herself. If Bella could talk about her issues maybe she could get past them. And by confiding in Edward maybe they'd feel what she felt. The incredible chemistry they had.

She turned and headed for the guest room. Bella was going to talk to Edward now. If Bella wanted to tell her later, she would.

* * *

_A/N: Okay so now we're getting into the heart of the story. I have most of the next chapter finished. I have a little bit more to add and then I just have to fix it up some. I'm hoping for a quick update. Looking forward to hearing what you're all thinking. _


	12. Give Unto Me

_A/N: This chapter is a little longer than the rest. Hope you enjoy it._

* * *

_I've been watching you from a distance_

_The distance sees through your disguise_

_All I want from you is your hurting_

_I want to heal you_

_I want to save you from the dark_

_Give unto me your troubles_

_I'll endure your suffering_

_Place onto me your burden_

_I'll drink your deadly poison_

_Why should I care if they hurt you_

_Somehow it matters more to me_

_Than if I were hurting myself_

_Save you (save you)_

_I'll save you_

_Give unto me your troubles_

_I'll endure your suffering_

_Place onto me your burden_

_I'll drink your deadly poison_

_Fear not the flame of my love's candle_

_Let it be the sun in your world of darkness_

_Give unto me all that frightens you_

_I'll have your nightmares for you_

_If you sleep soundly_

_Give unto me your troubles_

_I'll endure your suffering_

_Place onto me your burden_

_I'll drink your deadly poison_

_Fear not the flame of my love's candle_

_Let it be the sun in your world of darkness_

_Give unto me all that frightens you_

_I'll have your nightmares for you_

_If you sleep soundly_

_Fear not the flame of my love's candle_

Let it be the sun in your world of darkness

-_Give Unto Me by Evanescence-_

Bella took a deep breath. She held it for a second and then released it.

Edward watched her intently, waiting for her to begin. He couldn't imagine what it was she had to say, but he couldn't help feel slightly thrilled she'd chosen him to confide in. That she trusted him enough. Or maybe it wasn't trust at all, but necessity. Maybe it had gotten to the point that she just needed someone to talk to. Either way, he was glad it was him.

He slid next to her and put his arm around her shoulders for support. He wanted her to know that he was listening, no matter what it was she had to say.

"I don't know where to start," Bella said.

"How about you start at the beginning," he said as he stroked her cheek with his hand.

Bella took one last deep breath before she began. Edward could feel her trembling beneath him and he gave her arm a little squeeze of encouragement.

"When I was eight, my father Charlie died," she began. "He was a police officer in Newton, Georgia."

"So you're from Georgia?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

"So why did you say you were from Seattle?"

Bella exhaled sharply.

"I'm sorry." Edward realized this was hard for her and that he shouldn't interrupt her with his questions. He'd just have to wait until she was finished. "I won't interrupt again."

Bella bit her lip and then continued. "It was a routine traffic stop, a busted tail light. Charlie walked up to the car to ask for license, registration… the driver smelled like weed so Charlie asked him to step out of the car. Instead the driver pulled out a gun and shot him.

It was all over the news because it was such a small town. Things like that didn't happen there. My mother tried so hard not to let me or Emmett watch the news but it was unavoidable. They showed footage from Charlie's in car camera of the whole thing…. It was devastating to watch my dad being murdered." Bella's voice wavered as she said it.

Edward was surprised she wasn't crying. But as she talked it was almost like she was telling a story that had nothing to do with her. Except for the end her voice had been devoid of any emotion.

"I'm so sorry," He began.

Bella held up her hand to signify that she wasn't finished.

"I told you it was a long story," she said softly.

Edward nodded at her to continue.

"It was devastating. It nearly tore our family apart, but somehow we put the pieces back together. We kind of realized tomorrow isn't guaranteed and that we should cherish each other." Bella swallowed visibly before continuing.

"And I think we did pretty well putting our lives back together. We had some semblance of a normal life. We had dinner together, the three of us. Me, Emmett, Renee, my mother. By the time I was thirteen things were back to normal. Or…well.. as normal as they could've been."

Bella paused and looked up at Edward to see if she'd lost him. To her surprised he was focused on her face. He looked like he genuinely cared what she had to say.

"That was the year Renee met Phil. He seemed so perfect. My mother loved him. Me and Emmett were happy she was happy. And we thought Phil was an alright guy. He had a decent job and that was good because Renee was a bit flighty and she had trouble holding down a job. Nothing held her interest long. Phil and Renee married soon after my fourteenth birthday.

"That's when everything changed. Emmett went off to college. He didn't come home often because he wanted to experience life. It was hard losing Emmett, but it was harder to lose Renee. After she married Phil, it was like nothing mattered but him. _Nothing._" Bella emphasized the last word. "It was like she stopped loving me."

Edward tried to imagine what it would be like if his mother stopped loving him. He couldn't. But he was sure it would be a devastating feeling. He squeezed Bella's knee in assurance.

"And Phil. He started drinking. A lot. And when he was drinking…" Bella struggled for the right words. " He became crazy… um… violent."

She took several deep breaths. She could feel her calm veneer cracking and she didn't want to lose it before she finished.

"I felt so alone." She couldn't hold it in and her entire body was racked with sobs.

Edward pulled Bella into his arms and stroked her hair.

It was several minutes before Bella was able to collect herself. This was the first time she'd shared this with someone other than Emmett. And even then Emmett had guessed most of what he knew.

"Can you finish, Bella?"

Bella nodded and squeezed his hand for support. Edward wiped away the tears from her eyes with his thumbs.

"When Phil was drinking he liked to come to my room late at night. Always when Renee was gone so that she wouldn't hear me scream… He used to tell me that if I loved my mom I would have sex with him. Or if I cared about our family. He told me if I didn't do it, he'd tell my mother I had been trying to get him to have sex with me. He said all kinds of things that I didn't necessarily believe… but I was scared." Bella was trying desperately to keep her composure. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt her face flush.

Edward stroked her cheek with his fingers. Bella looked up. His eyes were full of concern, but his overall expression conveyed horror. He looked almost like he was in pain. His jaw was tense and she saw him swallow hard. She wondered if he thought she was making this up.

"Your mother didn't know?" he asked. His voice was low and harsh.

Bella shook her head.

"You didn't tell her?"

Bella looked at her lap.

She was completely silent, but Edward could feel her body shaking as she cried.

"I did," Bella said through the tears. "But she told me I was lying. To stop trying to ruin her marriage. That she was finally happy." Bella brought her hands to her face to cover it as the sobs racked her body.

"Oh, Bella." Edward pulled her into his chest. How awful must it be to truly have no one? He couldn't fathom. He was burning with anger for Phil and for Renee. He wanted to tear them apart. But he was trying to stay calm for Bella.

He heard Bella trying to say something, but he couldn't understand her through the sobbing.

"Deep breaths, love. Deep breaths." He took a deep breath to demonstrate, still holding her tight to him.

When Bella was able to stop sobbing she said softly, "She didn't care." It was so soft Edward almost missed it.

Bella cleared her throat to regain her voice. Her voice came out slow and shaky, "Phil is the reason I hate my accent. Southern accents terrify me. Whenever I hear one… I immediately go back to that place. Four years of hell…"

Edward cupped her face in his hands. "You're safe now."  
Bella nodded. "Yes."

"That's why you've never taken Jasper home? You know he'd protect you if you decided to go back."

"There's nothing left to protect me from."

Edward looked at her with confusion.

"Emmett," she said as if that were the answer.

But Edward didn't follow.

Bella sighed softly before she explained, "When Emmett came home after he finished school, he figured out what was going on. He protected me. He used to have me hide in the pantry until Phil went to bed. Emmett was huge and could have easily taken Phil, but he didn't want to end up in jail. So he preferred this. When Phil was in bed Emmett would sneak me to my room and then he'd sleep outside my door. It was just until I left for college, which was only a few more weeks.

"It worked until Emmett had gone to the bathroom one night and Phil decided to take advantage of that and come into my room. Emmett heard me screaming and he bust into my room with Charlie's rifle. He aimed it right for Phil's head…"

Bella tried not to hyperventilate. The dream was still so fresh in her mind.

"He said 'I told you I'd kill you'. I screamed for him not to do it, but it was too late. He'd pulled the trigger." Bella's voice was so quiet Edward was straining to hear her.

"He literally blew Phil's head off."

Edward gasped.

"Emmett was just trying to protect me."

Edward realized Bella was defending her brother. She'd taken his gasp the wrong way. "I would have done the same thing," he told her. "I'm so sorry Bella."

"It was hard to see because it reminded me so much of Charlie. But I was so happy to be rid of Phil. I know that makes me a bad person."

Edward shook his head. "No, Bella. You're not a bad person for that."

"I also feel guilty because now my brother is serving a ten year sentence."

"They gave him ten years?"

Bella nodded. Then she said sadly, "They charged him with voluntary manslaughter. But he's up for parole before Christmas."

"Does your mother believe you now?"

Bella's eyes clouded over and she looked away.

"She doesn't believe you?" Edward was incredulous.

"My mother," Bella said cautiously, " was so angry with me and with Emmett. She told the police we'd made the story up."

"But they believed you, right?"

"Yeah. They gave us lie detector tests. If they didn't think it happened, they believed that we believed it did. That's why Emmett got ten years instead of three. Because they questioned how it could happen for four years and Renee not notice a thing."

Edward nodded. He was horrified. Bella had really been through hell as she'd said. And she didn't even have her mother to comfort her. She had no one until the end.

"Like I said, it was a small town. They're probably still talking about it. Once I was able to leave I took off running. And I refuse to go back there. That's why I tell people I'm from Seattle. It's better if nobody knows too much. I don't want anyone looking into my past."

"Why Seattle though?"

"Well… no Southern accents for one. And it's far enough away from school that I could use that as an excuse for not going home on breaks."

Edward nodded in understanding. He felt awful for Bella. All he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap and hold her there forever. He knew that wasn't a possibility though.

"I've never told anyone that before," Bella said. She felt like a boulder had been lifted from her chest.

"No one?"

"Not even Emmett. He mostly figured it out on his own."

They were silent for a moment before Bella said, "I thought if I spoke it out loud it would make it worse. Most of the time I'm able to convince myself it was all just a bad nightmare…." She paused for a brief second. "I've been living a lie for so long, it was starting to crush me. I never had a problem keeping it inside until I met you. With you… it felt wrong not to be myself. I felt like I couldn't hide from you. That you could see through everything I'd worked so hard to conceal.

"I though it would be hard to tell someone. And it was hard, but I thought… I don't know, if I said it out loud it would kill me. But surprisingly, I feel so free…"

"You know," Edward said in a low voice, "_Your_ accent _is _beautiful."

Bella blushed as Edward took her hands. They stared into each other's eyes for a long time.

Edward now knew her better than anyone else. It was a strange feeling to feel so vulnerable, but it was peaceful. She really was astounded by the way she felt.

Then suddenly, Bella remembered Jasper. "Shit!" she breathed as she pulled away from Edward.

"Bella, what's wrong?"  
"Jasper."

It was the only word that had to be said. She was Jasper's girlfriend and she felt terrible. For the second time that night she realized she was a horrible girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"No. Don't be sorry. Thank you…for listening to me. But please don't tell Jasper yet. I have to talk to him first."

"When?"

"I don't know…not until we go back to school. I can't ruin Thanksgiving. Besides I still love Jasper. There's something there. Edward, you understand?"

Edward realized Bella was talking about something more than just telling Jasper her story. She was talking about what was happening between them.

"Yes I understand."

He did understand. He didn't like it, but he did understand. Jasper and Bella had been together a long time. She couldn't just throw it away over this, whatever it was. And Jasper was his brother. How appalling of him to be lusting after his brother's girlfriend. Lusting? No, he wouldn't call it that. It was so much more than that. So much more than he'd ever felt for any woman before.

And he'd been with plenty of women. But Bella was so different from all of them. She was special. She was amazing. She'd been through so much. Bella was stronger than she gave herself credit for, but at the same time she was so fragile and he just wanted to protect her. He wanted to take all of her pain from her. He wanted her to be able to sleep at night without the nightmares. He'd gladly take them as his own if it would make her smile. If it would make her happy.

He knew one thing for sure; Jasper was a lucky son of a bitch.

"Goodnight Edward," Bella interrupted his thoughts.

"Good night Bella," he said and watched her disappear from the room.

As Edward sat and started into the direction she had gone, he had a revelation:

He was in love with Bella.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts? Just so you guys are aware, I'm working almost non stop for the next week or so, so I don't know when I'll have time to update. Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze it in. But to be honest I've barely started work on the next chapter. Just remember, reviews will make me want to stay up late and write when I should be sleeping. Haha. _


	13. Broken

_A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I seriously love you guys. You are amazing. Even though there are only a few who review, your enthusiasm is awesome and it inspires me. _

_And so it is for you guys that I worked on this with most of my free time this past week. Its not a very long chapter but its definately important and I wanted to make sure it was right. You would not believe the writer's block I'm having._

_Anyway, without further ado, here is the next chapter. Enjoy!_

* * *

_What do I do? _

_We're broken _

_But I can't _

_Throw us away_

_-Broken by Katy Perry-_

Jasper woke up and looked around. It took him a moment to recognize his surroundings and remember last night.

He had a daughter. That was sobering shit. He wondered how he was going to break the news to Alice.

"Fuck!" he said out loud. Couldn't he at least control his thoughts? It was Bella he loved.

"Jasper? Are you awake?"

Jasper sat up, startled. He saw Jane sitting at the table with Kate.

"Um… yeah," he said pushing his hair out of his face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"If you've changed your mind about dinner, I understand."

"Fu…" he started. He looked at the little girl in the room and knew he'd have to learn to control his language. "No. You guys are coming to dinner with me. That's final."

"Okay."

There was an awkward silence in the room.

Jane broke it. "Should we come over later?"

Maybe that would be best. That way I can easy everyone into it. Instead of just dropping a huge surprise on them."

"That's a good idea," Jane agreed.

"So I guess I should be going."

"You want breakfast or a ride home?"

"Nah. I'll catch a cab. Thanks though.

"Sure."

Jasper stood and smoothed his rumpled clothes just a bit and then headed for the door.

"Hug, Daddy."

He turned around to see Kate standing behind him, her little arms stretched upwards toward him. He hesitated for a moment before reaching down and pulling her into a tight embrace. This wasn't a dream. This was real. And before last night he'd never really believed in love at first sight. But that's what he felt for the little stranger. Complete and total love.

"See you soon?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Later today, okay?" Jasper told her setting her back down on the floor.

"Kay. Bye Daddy!"

"Bye, Katie."

Jasper headed out to the parking lot to call a cab. He had a lot to think about before he got home. He had to think about how he was going to tell Bella and his parents about Katie. And he still had to deal with the whole Bella and Edward thing. Damn. He'd completely forgotten about the fact that his girlfriend may be fooling around with his brother. Well, that made him not feel so bad about thinking of Alice.

As the cab pulled up in front of him, he decided he'd have to deal with Bella first. They had a lot to talk about, but he wasn't even sure where to start. And he definitely was not looking forward to it.

Bella woke up alone. She'd slept extremely well after her talk with Edward. Better than she'd slept in years. But instead of feeling refreshed, she felt irritated.

Where was Jasper? Why had he stayed out all night? The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She took a deep calming breath. She didn't want to fight with Jasper today. It was the first Thanksgiving they were spending together. She didn't want to ruin it. But she couldn't help but wonder if it would also be their last. And she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

That thought scared her. Jasper was all she'd known since she'd left Georgia. He was her life. They shared an apartment together. They'd built a life together. Was she willing to give all that up? She didn't know.

Bella closed her eyes and leaned back against Jasper's headboard. Her thoughts turned to Edward. Sweet, beautiful Edward. He'd listened to her story, the concern on his face, the way he'd held her as she cried. She longed to be in his arms again. She smiled at that thought.

Her eyes flew open and her head snapped up when she heard the bedroom door open.

"Bella?

Jasper stood in the doorway and she couldn't help but feel agitated. She tried to fight the feeling, but she couldn't. Before she realized what she was saying she snapped, "Where the hell have you been all night?"  
Jasper's face flickered from apprehension to hurt and then settling on anger. He clenched his jaw and closed the door.

"Why does it matter? I'm sure Edward probably kept you company anyway?" His voice was extremely calm, an odd contrast to the rage on his face.

"It _matters _because _you _are _my _boyfriend and _you _left me alone in a house full of strangers." Bella fought to keep her voice steady.

"Really? Strangers, Bella? You seemed comfortable enough to go shopping with one of those strangers. You seemed comfortable enough to take a walk with one of those strangers, to take a shower with one of those strangers!" Jasper's voice was no longer calm.

Bella's jaw dropped. She had no idea what he was talking about. "What the fuck are you talking about?" she spat at him.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Don't stand there and act like you haven't been getting cozy with fucking Edward. I bet you probably spent the night with him last night, didn't you?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." By this time Bella was standing inches from Jasper.

He closed the distance between the two of them and leaned down so is face was centimeters from her, "Just say it, Bella. You're fucking Edward."

"Fuck you, Jasper. Go to hell!" Bella stepped around him and walked out of the room, slamming the door for emphasis.

Jasper sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. That wasn't how he had wanted that conversation to go. But when she'd snapped at him something inside him snapped. He was suddenly very angry. The feeling hit him like a ton of bricks and it took all he had keep from shouting at her.

He and Bella had never had a fight this big. They always resolved it before anyone go mad enough to walk out. And he had never ever gotten in Bella's face like that. And he'd accused her of sleeping with his brother. He didn't know that for sure. But why did Edward's South Carolina sweatshirt smell like Bella? There could be another reason he supposed. But Bella had gotten so angry when he'd confronted her. A sure sign of a guilty conscious, right? And that night in Edward's room, they hadn't been doing anything but playing music. Bella loved music and so had Edward at one time. Maybe it was really that innocent, a shared love of music.

Even with this realization, Jasper couldn't make himself get up from the bed and go to Bella and apologize. Jasper wanted to be mad at her. And that confused him. How could he want to be mad at Bella? He loved her. The thought that he may be causing her pain should have caused him pain. But it didn't. Of course he cared for Bella, but was it possible that he didn't love her?

Jasper squeezed his eyes shut. All he could see were visions of Alice. No! If he and Bella were going to break up, it would not be because of Alice. Especially now that she and Bella were friends. It would hurt their friendship and be awkward in the future if the friendship did survive.

He'd have to wait until they got back to California and give it some time. Without Alice in his vicinity he could think clearly and make sure it was what he really wanted. And it did want to be sure.

He and Bella had been together for a while. He didn't want to fuck things up over some stupid crush. If that's what it was. It felt like so much more than that though. He couldn't even put his feelings into words.

Jasper groaned. He had way too much to deal with. He still needed to tell his parents about Kate and Jane. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

_A/N: Hmm... whats going to happen next. Trust me, I don't know. _


	14. Just Like You

_A/N: Thank you again for the reviews! They mean so much to me. You guys are also wonderful! _

_Bare with me on the next couple of chapters. They may be alittle dry, but things will pick back hope again soon. (hopefully, haha!)_

_In the meantime here's the next chapter._

* * *

_You thought you were there to guide me_

_You were only in my way._

_You're wrong if you think_

_That I'll be just like you._

_-Just Like You by 3 Days Grace-_

Bella headed to the kitchen, her sanctuary. She could cook breakfast to calm herself down. She was so angry with Jasper. How could he accuse her of sleeping with Edward? She would never do that.

But she realized that what she had been doing was so much worse. Basically she was having an emotional affair with Edward. She'd told him things she would never tell Jasper. Ever. And that was appalling.

Bella choked back a sob as she reached the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway as she saw Carlisle and Esme standing at the counter. The sight of them together, happily stuffing the turkey for dinner that night, nearly broke her heart. It was obvious how in love they were just by the way they looked at each other. But it was more. It was the way they touched each other, the way they smiled, the way their movements were centered around each other.

Bella felt an ache in her heart. She knew she'd never looked at Jasper that way and he'd never looked at her that way either. Did that mean they'd never been in love?

No.

That couldn't possibly be true. She did love Jasper. She had to. She couldn't have spent the last years of her life with someone she didn't love.

As she stood watching Carlisle and Esme, she thought about the fight she and Jasper had just had. Jasper had never acted that way toward her. Even when he was angry with her, he'd never gotten in her face. She couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle and Esme ever fought like that. Looking t them you'd guess they never fought at all. They were so content with each other. The two of them made it look so easy.

But it wasn't easy at all, was it? Bella leaned her head against the door frame and sighed quietly. Before this trip she thought she'd had everything figured out. She thought she'd figured out a way to get through life and to be happy. But things were all wrong now. Or at least part of her felt things were wrong. What she had with Edward was real. She could feel that. And it felt right.

Damn it! Why couldn't she just be a good girlfriend and love Jasper. He'd brought her into his home, brought her into his family. This trip was supposed to have made them closer. Instead it was tearing them apart.

Before she could strangle it, a loud sob escaped her lips.

Esme and Carlisle stopped what they were doing and looked up at her.

"Bella, honey, are you alright?" Esme asked, wiping her hand on a dishtowel and walking toward Bella.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You're not interrupting, Bella," Carlisle said coming to stand at his wife's side.

"You look upset, dear," Esme pressed.

"I… uh… well… Jasper and I…" Bella stammered. Should she even be telling his parents this? This was between her and Jasper. She looked up into Esme eyes, wide with concern. She noticed they were the same green as Edward's. "We had a fight," she finished, the words tumbling from her mouth in a quick torrent.

"Oh, dear," Esme gasped.

"It's alright. We'll be fine. We just… we'll be okay," Bella assured her, feeling awkward, her entire face flushing.

"Yes, I suppose," Esme said. But she still had the worried look her in her eyes.

"Come on, love, we have to get the turkey on," Carlisle said gently placing her hands on Esme's shoulders and directing her back to the counter.

Bella shot him a thankful look and Carlisle nodded. Then she quickly excused herself. She couldn't watch their perfection any longer. It just made her sad.

She knew she needed to talk to Jasper. They needed to work out their problems calmly, rationally. But she realized there was zero chance of that happening when she was feeling like she didn't care if their relationship survived.

Bella couldn't talk to Jasper calmly now. If she talked to him now it might sabotage the relationship and she still wasn't sure what she wanted.

What she did know was that she cared about Jasper. Of that she was positive. She couldn't imagine her life without him. But did she want a future with him? She couldn't answer that right now.

She decided to give it some time and that she needed to find Alice.

Jasper came down the stairs and headed toward the living room. He heard Carlisle call his name as he passed the office.

"Yeah, Dad?" he poked his head into the room.

"Come in here a minute, son. Have a seat," Carlisle said motioning to the small leather couch that was against the wall.

"What's up?" Jasper asked feeling tense.

"Jasper," Carlisle started, "I don't think it was very fair of you to leave Bella here by herself last night."

What the hell? This was about Bella? Why the heel did Carlisle care? Suddenly Jasper was extremely angry.

"Well, I don't think it's very fair of you to keep the fact that I have a daughter from me," Jasper spat.

Carlisle was speechless. Jasper watched him open and close his mouth several times with no sound coming out.

"Yeah," Jasper continued with a little less venom in his voice, "I ran into Jane when I was out last night."

"You don't know the child is yours," Carlisle said at last.

"All I had to do was look in her eyes, Dad. She had my eyes, your eyes."

Carlisle just shook his head.

"They're coming for dinner," Jasper stated.

"They're what?" Carlisle looked flustered again.

"Coming for dinner," Jasper repeated.

"Did you even talk to your mother about this?"

"I want to spend Thanksgiving with my daughter," Jasper said firmly. "Why did you keep her from me?"  
Carlisle thought for a moment before speaking. "We wanted what was best for you, Jasper."

Jasper scrunched his brow. "What's best for me or what's best for you?"

"We had the best of intentions for you, son. You were just starting to get your life back on track. And we didn't know if the child was yours."

"Kate!" Jasper nearly shouted. "Her name is Kate!"

"We didn't know if Kate was yours. And as I said, you were just starting to get your life straight again."

"You mean have the life you wanted for me," Jasper corrected.

"Jasper…" Carlisle began.

But Jasper cut him off. "I never wanted to go to medical school. I never wanted to go to USC."  
"Of course you did. You said you did."  
"I never said I did! You said I did! All my life I've done the things you've wanted me to do."

"That's not true, Jasper. Your mother and I certainly didn't want you to get into trouble the way you did in high school."

"I did that shit because I was rebelling. I was trying to establish myself as my own person. I didn't want to follow in your footsteps and be a doctor. I wanted to be an artist."

"The chances of having a successful career as an artist are slim, Jasper."

"I don't care!" Jasper was shouting now.

"We had your best interests in mind. You know that."

"You really think it was in my best interest to squash my creativity."

"We never meant to squash your creativity, son. You could have painted for fun."

Jasper inhaled sharply. "Except that every time I mentioned painting you'd get that look on you face."

"What look is that?"

"The one you're giving me now. The look that says you disapprove of my choices. The one that says you're disappointed in me."

"I am not disappointed in you, Jasper. I only wanted what was best for you."

"But you wouldn't know that!" Jasper took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect like Edward," Jasper said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Carlisle said.

"I know you wish that I was like Edward, that I said and did what I'm supposed to. But that's not me."

"Jasper, Edward is not perfect and I don't expect you to be either."

"Then how come you're always riding me, but Edward gets off easy?"

Carlisle took a deep breath. "You've always needed a bit more guidance that your brother. Remember, you almost didn't graduate from high school. I've always just been trying to help you have a successful life, Jasper. I just want you to succeed and have everything you need to be financially independent and to have the best life possible. I'm sorry if you feel I've been unnecessarily hard on you or if you feel that I've pushed you too hard. I really just want what is best for you."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's the truth, Jasper. Don't you think for one second that I love you less than your brother. I love you both the same. I'm sorry we didn't tell you about Kate. It was wrong. But there's really not much we can do to change the past. We can only promise to be more open with each other in the future. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Now, do you have anything else you need to get off your chest before we break the news to your mother."

"Yes. I don't want to be a doctor. I hate pre-med and I don't want to go to med school. Pretending I'm happy doing it is killing me."

"Well, I suppose that's your decision. And your mother and I will support you in whatever endeavor you choose. We just want you to be happy."

"Thanks Dad," Jasper said standing to hug his father.

He felt lighter. He'd gotten all the frustrations he'd been harboring since high school out in the open. It was why he'd rebelled. He didn't want to be what someone told him he had to be. Eventually his parents had pushed enough and he'd given up. Plus, he couldn't stand seeing his father give him _that _look and to see his mother so beside herself. So he'd gone off to live his parents dream for his life. But he'd always felt like he was trapped in a cage.

And now… he felt like the door had been opened and for the first time he was free to do what he wanted to do. He felt amazing. And one thing he knew was that he definitely didn't want to go back to California. He wanted to stay here in New York and get to know his daughter.

Now he just had to break the news to his mother.

Esme had taken the news much better than Jasper had expected. She'd apologized profusely for keeping Jane's attempts to contact him a secret. She'd said in her heart she'd always known Katie was his child, but she'd been afraid the revelation would break him.

Jasper told her he understood her intentions were good, but that she still should have told him. And then he forgave her and they'd hugged. And it was over.

And suddenly Esme went into excited grandmother mode. That was extremely weird for Jasper, but he was glad she had accepted things so easily. Including his decision to drop out of USC.

He still had to deal with telling Bella though. But that could wait. He had to go back to California to wrap thing up and get his stuff from the apartment anyway.

He did wonder what that would mean for their relationship though. How would Bella take the news? He wondered if she would cry and beg him to stay. He hoped that wouldn't happen. It would just make things harder than they had to be.

Jasper let out a sigh and then headed back to the kitchen to spend a little more time with his parents before Jane and Kate arrived.

* * *

_A/N: And while you're waiting for the next chapter here are some other stories you should be checking out:_

_Unspoken by stacygirl aka jackbauer_

_Controlled Burn also by stacygirl aka jackbauer_

_Living Backwards by Ciaobella27_

_My Brothers Best Friend by jennlynnfs_

_One of the Boys by .so_

_ If you're not reading any of these you should be. They are all amazing stories!_

_Okay, remember, reviews make me want to update faster. Haha!_


	15. Bring Me To Life

_A/N: Okay, here's the next chapter. Thanks everyone who read the last. And those who reviewed. I love you guys._

* * *

_Now that I know what I'm without_

_You can't just leave me_

_Breathe into me and make me real_

_Bring me to life_

_Wake me up_

_(Wake me up inside)_

_I can't wake up_

_(Wake me up inside)_

_Save me_

_(Call my name and save me from the dark)_

_Wake me up_

_(Bid my blood to run)_

_I can't wake up_

_(Before I come undone)_

_Save me_

_(Save me from the nothing I've become)_

_I've been living a lie_

_There's nothing inside_

_Bring me to life_

_-Bring Me to Life by Evanescence-_

"Bella…" Alice began.

"Alice, if you only knew," Bella said.

Alice had been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Bella to open up. But she'd just been saying confusing stuff like that.

She and Edward had heard Bella tell Jasper to go to hell and they'd heard her slam the door. They'd assumed the two of them were fighting about the fact that Jasper had stayed out all night.

But when Bella had come into the guest room where Alice was quietly putting together her outfit for the day, she could tell there was something more. But what?

"I would know if you would just tell me, Bella." Alice pointed out as she pulled a pair of black pants from her bag.

"I just…" Bella started.

Alice waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"Bella, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Alice told her, resting her hands on her hips. She wondered if Bella's reluctance to talk to her had anything to do with the fact that Alice herself was in love with Jasper. Or was it just the fact that though their friendship was genuine, they were essentially still strangers.

"He accused me of sleeping with Edward," Bella blurted.

Alice gasped. She knew that hadn't happened. "Where did he get that idea?"  
"I don't know. But the worst part is that…" she trailed off.

"Go on, Bella. It's okay. What happens in this room stays in this room," she said softly, placing her hand on Bella's back.

"Well, I feel very close to Edward. I can't explain it."

Alice nodded. She'd picked up on that last night. There weren't just sparks between them, there was a whole damn fire.

"I honestly don't know what to do," Bella said burying her face in her hands.

"I can't tell you what to do," Alice said. "But if you listen to your hear, it will tell you."

"What if it's all confused?" Bella mumbled.

"That's your head sill. But you and Jasper need to sit down and talk. Without yelling, without accusations. Just talking about you issues," Alice told her while rubbing small circles on Bella's back.

"The two of you need to figure out what it is that you both want. You need to figure out if it's the same thing."

Bella looked up at Alice. She was amazing. Bella knew Alice wanted Jasper. But she was keeping her promise. It would be so easy for her to tell Bella that she needed to break up with Jasper. That what they'd had was over and it was time to move on.

But that's not what she said. She was encouraging Bella to talk to Jasper, to figure things out. Alice was a great friend.

"Thanks Alice," Bella said.

"That's what friends are for," Alice smiled giving Bella a gently squeeze.

Bella noticed her smile wasn't the typical bright Alice smile. It was much more sad and it didn't reach her eyes. And Bella knew the sacrifice Alice was making to be a good friend.

That made Bella wonder if maybe she was being selfish holding onto Jasper when she was so unsure of her feelings for him while Alice was clearly head over heels for him. But Bella knew she owed it to herself and to Jasper to make sure things were over between them. And even to Alice. If she let Jasper go now, before she'd figured things out and he and Alice started dating, it could be awful if Bella realized she did in fact still love Jasper.

"Come on, Bella. I'm gonna get you ready for dinner," Alice said taking Bella's hand and dragging her toward the bathroom.

Bella feigned annoyance and let out a groan because that was the Bella thing to do. In actuality she didn't mind so much because she knew Alice would make her look amazing. But she could only imagine the amount of work that would entail.

Edward sat on the couch channel surfing. It was still too early for football and he certainly didn't want to watch the Thanksgiving Day parades.

It didn't really matter what was on the TV anyway. His mind was a million miles away. He kept remembering the conversation he'd had with Bella last night.

_"I have to talk to him first."_

_"When?"  
"I don't know."  
_

And the way they'd looked into each other's eyes… there was something real there. He knew she felt it too. She had to. It couldn't just be him.

And the night she'd been in his room… she'd brought out the passion in him he'd thought was dead for long now. A passion not only for her, but for the music.

Edward had given up his music dream at the end of his freshman year and he'd tried to become the perfect child. With all the attention his parents had been focusing on Jasper he'd felt a bit like a forgotten child. He though if he became everything his parents wanted, they 'd be proud of him.

He never doubted that they loved him. Just sometimes he felt they didn't notice him. He focused all of his energies into his studies, which left him hardly anytime for his music. And even if he had time, sometimes he could hardly remember why he'd once loved it so much.

It hadn't seemed to help though. His parents main concern was still Jasper. Edward couldn't really blame them. Jasper had done some fucked up things. But Edward had done everything right. He'd gotten straight A's. He'd become the valedictorian. He'd gotten a scholarship to the South Carolina. But still, they'd never once told them they were proud. It was kind of like they just expected it.

And all that time, he'd felt almost dead inside. And then, the other night with Bella, it was like she had woken him up. He felt more alive that he'd felt in years. He felt the music coursing through his veins.

Edward truly had forgotten how much he'd loved music. It had been his life. It was so much a part of him. A part he'd been suppressing for too long. And he'd rediscovered that part because of Bella.

Beautiful Bella. He thought of the way the blood colored her cheeks last night when she'd told him her story. He wanted her. He'd never felt it so strongly for anyone. He felt like he'd merely existed before she came around. She was the light in the darkness that had become his life.

Before he'd been mindlessly sleeping with random girls, pretending to be something he was not. It wasn't the life he wanted.

When Bella had spoken of living a lie, he'd understood. Because essentially that was what he had been doing as well. Maybe not so much a lie, but he'd been wearing a mask.

And now…well now he couldn't imagine his life without her. But that was a very real possibility. Bella didn't belong to him. She belonged to Jasper. And it was completely possible that that was where she'd stay.

Edward couldn't even bear to picture it. Just thinking about it he had a hard time breathing.

Edward's eyes snapped open when he felt someone's presence in the room with him. He hadn't even realized he'd closed them.

"The Spanish Channel, Edward. Really?"

It was Jasper.

"Guess I dosed off," Edward shrugged.

"Um…yeah." Jasper sat down next to him. Edward could tell Jasper wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure how to say it.

"Um… so, you ready for football?"  
"Yeah," Edward said. There was awkward tension in the room.

"You know, sorry about yesterday," Jasper said.

That was what had been so hard for Jasper to say? Damn.

"It's cool," Edward said.

"I thought you were fucking my girlfriend."

Edward choked. "You thought what!" he nearly shouted.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I'd never do that to you." Though he'd wanted to.

"I know. I said I'm sorry. Fuck! You gotta have it in writing?"

Edward shook his head and leaned back on the couch. It was silent for a few minutes.

"Why the hell would you think that?" He'd planned to let it drop, but his curiosity got the best of him.

"Damn, Edward, are you a girl?" Jasper said.

Edward looked at him expectantly, choosing to ignore that remark.

"Your sweatshirt," Jasper said. "I found it in the bathroom and it smelled like Bella. Why is that?"

Edward started laughing.

"It's not funny, asshole. I just got into a fight with Bella about this."

"She didn't tell you?"

"I didn't specifically bring up the sweatshirt."

"What? You just accused her of sleeping with me?"

"Pretty much."

"Who's the asshole? If you'd have brought up the sweatshirt she would have told you that she borrowed it from me when we went on that walk after you pissed her off by staring at Alice."

"Oh, man. I am an asshole," Jasper said putting his head between his legs.

"You really just accused her of sleeping with me, Jasper? You really have that little trust in either of us?"

Jasper didn't answer.

This time Edward let it drop. He couldn't talk about it anymore. Though he hadn't slept with her he'd thought about it enough and he felt guilty.

"I should apologize to her," Jasper said.

"You should," Edward agreed because all he wanted was for Bella to be happy. And if Jasper made her happy that would have to be enough for him.

"Speaking of Alice," Jasper began, "where'd you meet her?"

"The plane," Edward laughed.

"The fucking plane!" Jasper was laughing too. "Wow, Edward, man. I knew you were a whore, but I didn't expect you to be crazy _and _desperate too."

Edward laughed again. "Crazy? Maybe. Desperate? Never! And maybe a little curious. But it ain't gonna happen for me and Alice."

Jasper was suddenly serious. "Why not? She's hot."

And Edward became equally serious. "Yeah. She is. But she'd kind of annoying for someone so small."

"Annoying? Alice is _not _annoying." Jasper was getting defensive.

That was weird.

Edward leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose. The tension was back again. For a brief moment he considered telling Jasper that if she was so hot he should dump Bella and go out with Alice. But the conversation he and Bella had the first night they'd met replayed in his head.

"_I love Jasper very much. And if he'd have me for the rest of your lives I would surely be happy to stay with him that long."_

_"Believe me, I'd fight for him."_

Bella loved Jasper. She'd told him more than once. Edward just couldn't do that to her. He'd already seen her cry. He'd seen her hurting. There was no way he'd ever purposefully make her cry again.

"Yeah, Jasper. She's hot," Edward agreed. "But Bell is gorgeous."

Jasper gave him a sideways look before his face screwed up in anger. "We weren't talking about _Bella," _he spat at Edward. "And don't think about _my _girlfriend that way," he said through clenched teeth.

Edward nodded. He wasn't going to piss of Jasper on purpose.

The two of them sat in silence again, neither sure what to say to the other.

And then they heard the doorbell ring.

Jasper stood up from the couch and practically ran for the door. He was aware that Edward was following him.

"You're expecting company?" Edward asked.

Jasper ignored him. He realized he'd forgotten to tell Bella about Kate and he wasn't sure how she was going to take it. He hoped she wouldn't cause a scene. Although that wasn't very Bella like.

Just as he reached the front door Alice and Bella reached the bottom of the stairs. Jasper let out a sigh. This could be bad. He opened the door slowly in antcipation and braced himself for the reactions of those around him.

"Fuck!" Edward growled from behind him.

Four sets of eyes looked out the door with expressions ranging from confusion to amusement to anger.

Oh, this was going to be interesting.

* * *

_A/N: Review please! Please, please! That's right, I'm not above begging._

_And if you guys aren't reading _

_Controlled Burn by stacygirl aka jackbauer_

_and_

_Living Backward by CiaoBella 27_

_WHY NOT!!??!!!_

_Also I posted about One of the Boys. Its by .So _

_Somehow that got cut off. Check it out!_


	16. Surprises

_A/N: This chapter has been done for awhile, but it took me some time to get it up. Sorry. Thanks again for the reviews. Enjoy!_

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing her?" Edward growled at the girl standing at the door.

"I…I missed you," the girl stammered.

Bella took in the girl's appearance. She was beautiful. She had long strawberry blonde hair. She was tall and slender but even with her coat on you could tell she had perfect curves. She was quite possibly the most beautiful girl Bella had ever seen. And she made her feel plain and insignificant.

"Tanya! How the hell are you?" Jasper greeted her.

Bella's head snapped in his direction. Jasper had a look of amusement on his face. She glanced back at Tanya, whose unsure expression had turned into a bright smile.

"Hey, sexy," Tanya said stepping toward him.

Bella let out a low growl surprising everyone including herself. She blushed and quickly too her place next to Jasper. She wrapped her arms securely around his waist. She wanted Tanya to know Jasper was hers.

"Come on in, Tanya," Jasper said. "Bella, this is Tanya. Her parents are longtime friends of Carlisle and Esme," he told her. "Tanya, this is my girlfriend Bella."

"Nice to meet you, Bella" Tanya said in a dismissive tone.

Bella just nodded. She didn't like Tanya.

"Tanya go home," Edward said, the iciness in his voice intensifying.

Jasper smiled. Bella wondered why Edward was so insistent Tanya leave but Jasper seemed thrilled she was here. She sided with Edward. Things around here were tense enough without the extra complication.

"Jazzy wants me to stay," Tanya said in a voice that was pure saccharine.

It made Bella want to gag. She looked over at Alice who was standing against the wall with her eyes closed, rubbing her temples.

"Alice, are you okay?" Bella asked. As she did she felt Jasper stiffen.

"Yeah, yeah," Alice said. "I just have a headache is all. I'm gonna go lie down before dinner."

"Okay," Bella said. She wondered if Tanya's flirty nature was getting to her too.

Just then the doorbell rang again. Jasper grew more tense.

"Who the fuck else did you invite, Jasper?" Edward said as he flung the door open.

It was Edward's turn to look amused. "Jane! Long time no see," Edward exclaimed.

"Save it, Edward. I was expecting her," Jasper said.

Bella studied the tiny childlike blonde. And then her gaze fell upon the small child standing next to her. She looked astonishingly just like Jasper. Bella's jaw dropped as she pulled away from Jasper with her realization.

"Bella, wait," Jasper said, "I can explain."

"I don't want to hear it," Bella said through her gritted teeth. She was incredulous. He could have at least given her a warning. She glanced around at the others. Edward looked like he was in shock. Jasper had bent down to pick up the child and Tanya looked confused.

Bella turned around quickly to head back up the stairs. She had meant to leave dramatically but instead she missed the first step and in typical Bella fashion she crashed to the floor. She heard laughter and her face flushed bright red.

"Tanya, shut up. Bella, are you okay?"

She looked up to see Edward was crouched down beside her.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Let me help you up," he said as he wrapped one arm around her waist and took her hand in his hand and hoisted her to her feet. Bella looked up to see Jasper glaring at them. But it only lasted a second.

"What in the world is going on out here?" Esme's voice came from behind them. "Oh! Tanya, darling, it's so wonderful to see you." Esme pulled Tanya into an embrace.

Bella noticed Edward scowling at them. It was very uncomfortable for her to stay here. She realized that Edward and Tanya must have had some kind of thing together. And it was obvious Jane and Jasper had had something as well.

Bella didn't like being confronted with their pasts. They were too beautiful. They made her feel inadequate.

"I have to go," Bella whispered.

But Edward didn't let go of her.

"Edward," she said, "please."

He looked at here. His eyes were sad. Weird. But she didn't think too much about it. She was angry at Jasper.

How could he not tell her he had invited his ex-girlfriend and their child to dinner? How could he not tell her he had a daughter? That was a way bigger secret than what she was keeping. This affected both of them.

Then, maybe not. Maybe this was Jasper's way of telling her it was over between them. She sighed. Did she even care Jasper had a kid?

She didn't know. She knew she had never really wanted children. But Jasper's was already past the diaper stage. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

She couldn't really focus on the problem at hand though. All she could think about was the way Edward's arm had felt around her waist. How it felt like it belonged there, that it was a perfect fit. The way he didn't seem to want to let go of her. But she knew it couldn't possibly mean anything. He was just angry about Tanya being there. Bella knew she was too ordinary for Edward. Seeing Tanya confirmed that. It didn't matter anyway because she was dating his brother and she shouldn't be thinking about Edward that way.

"Hey."

Bella jumped and turned around. "Geez, Edward, you scared me!" she said trying to control her breathing and her heart rate.

"I'm sorry my brother is such an ass."

"Yeah me too," Bella said and then she started laughing.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked raking his hand through hair and looking obviously confused.

It made her laugh even harder.

"Did you hit your head when you fell?"

"No," Bella said through her giggles.

"Are you laughing at me?"

Bella shook her head and took a deep breath trying to regain her composure. "No, Edward, I'm not laughing at you," she said softly. "I'm laughing because this is all so ridiculous. This trip was supposed to bring Jasper and me closer and instead I'm sitting here wondering if it's actually over between us.

"I'm laughing because you're hear apologizing to me for your brother's behavior for the second time in three days. It's ridiculous because Jasper's ex-girlfriend shows up at the door with a kid I know nothing about. Maybe I'm insane. That upsets me. It's just all so bizarre."

Edward smiled at her. "You're not insane. Maybe a little unstable…" he joked.

"Shut up," she said feigning anger and lightly punching him in the arm.

"To be fair, Jasper didn't know until yesterday according to Esme. That's where he was last night."

"I supposed that helps a little."

They stood looking at their feet in silence.

"Where's Jasper now?" Bella asked interrupting the awkwardness.

"He and Jane took Katie, that's the little girl, to meet Carlisle."

Bella nodded.

"Does it bother you, Bella?" Edward asked.

She felt his eyes boring into her and she looked up. She forgot the question as she got lost in his eyes. How did he do that?

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"Does it bother you… that Jasper has a child?"

Bella sighed. She sank down on the bed careful not to make eye contact again before she got her answer out. "No. Not really. I … I don't think so, anyway."

Edward crossed the room and sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm an uncle to a four year old child, which is strange, but it doesn't bother me." He didn't mention the fact that he'd always thought he and Jasper would be in reverse positions with one of his random conquests showing up at the door with a child he fathered. "What bothers me it that it might be bothering you."

Bella's whole body began to prickle and turn red. That wasn't what she'd meant, but it pleased her to hear it. Although she couldn't be sure he'd actually said it. She couldn't believe he would.

"No, I mean with Tanya," she said changing the subject.

"Oh." Edward felt his face growing hot. Of course she was asking about Tanya, not Jasper.

"That's really sweet of you though," Bella added as if she could feel his embarrassment. She could probably see it on his face.

Edward looked down at his hands. How did he explain Tanya to Bella? . He decided the truth was the best. Bella deserved the truth after all she had shared with him.

"Um… Tanya and I… there's nothing really special there," he paused.

"We've been seeing each other on and off since we were very young. Mostly because of our parents. Well… on my part it was because of our parents. They've always thought we made the perfect couple and they've practically been planning our wedding since we were born. Especially after things didn't work out between Jasper and Irina, Tanya's sister.

"Anyway, I guess Tanya feels like there's something there, but I don't feel anything for her. The only reason I keep going out with her is because it makes my parents so happy. But really I find Tanya to be too… shallow and high-maintenance. Um…" He looked at Bella trying to gauge her reaction, but he couldn't read her expression.

"I uh… hate disappointing my parents and she's the only girl I've ever been semi-serious with."

"Bella nodded. "So, you're dating her or you're not?"

"Not. Definitely not anymore. But the truth is… my parents thing we're dating." He was still trying to read Bella's face, but still nothing. And honestly this all sounded pretty stupid to him.

"You think that's awful, right?"

Bella shook her head. "No, Edward. It's not awful. It's just… you're going through a lot of trouble to please your parents… and does Tanya know you're not really dating."

"Yes, of course. But… she wants so badly to believe it's true. I guess she thinks if we pretend long enough, we'll be back on again."

"Listen, Edward, I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should tell your parents the truth. You're so young still… Eighteen, right? You really shouldn't be tied down, especially not by a fake relationship."

Edward nodded. "I know you're right. But sometimes it's just easier. If they think I'm with Tanya, they really don't ask a lot of questions about my personal life."

"But when you showed up they thought Alice was your girlfriend."

"My parents are aware of the fact that Tanya and I have always had an on-again, off again relationship. They probably thought we were off. Well, until she showed up at the door today."

"And so now they think you're on."

Edward nodded again and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I still think you should tell them," Bella said standing up. "Think about it. I'm gonna go check on Alice."

Edward watched as Bella left the room. Why did it hurt so much to watch her leave? Why did it hurt so much to know that she was disappointed in him? She hadn't come out and said it, but something in the tone of her voice had implied it. And it really did hurt. Bad. He rubbed his hand over his face and then dragged his hand roughly through his hair. He feared his parent's disappointment, but somehow Bella's was worse. And he knew what he had to do. He had to go down stairs and set the record straight once and for all, no matter who it upset.

* * *

Alice heard a light knock on her door. She quickly dried her eyes and looked up to see Bella standing there.

"Are you okay, Alice?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Alice lied.

"Were you crying?"

"No." Alice lied again.

"Alice, your eyes are red and puffy. What's wrong?"

"Just a headache, that's all."

Bella gave her a look that told her she didn't believe her.

Alice needed to change the subject. "Who was at the door?" Alice asked. She really was curious who it was. Alice believed whoever it was, they were the reason for all the tension that had been resting in her stomach since last night.

At first she had assumed it was the impending fight that would happen between Bella and Jasper after he got home. But when that happened and the tension didn't go away like it normally did, she realized that wasn't it.

Then she thought it was Tanya's arrival causing all the anxiety. But no such luck with that either. It actually started getting worse. It got so bad that it was physically overpowering her, making her cry and feel sick to her stomach.

"Jasper's ex-girlfriend and… his daughter."

Alice swallowed hard. That was it. That was what had been causing all the anxiety. Being confronted with Jasper's past. The arrival of his ex-girlfriend and their child.

"Alice…" Bella said softly. "He didn't know until yesterday."

Was it odd that Bella was trying to comfort her? Yes, Alice told herself. Jasper was Bella's boyfriend. _She should be comforting her. _

"Bella, I'm sorry," Alice said.

"For?"

"Um… for the fact that Jasper has a daughter."

"I'm not angry anymore. I wish he had told me he had invited them, but you can't really change what happened in the past. "

"That's true," Alice whispered. How true it was. And what a good way to look at it. But Alice still felt crushed. She hadn't even consciously known she wanted to procreate with Jasper, but know she felt cheated that she wouldn't be the only to bear Jasper's children. Ha! What was wrong with her? Jasper was with Bella.

Alice realized she wasn't doing a very good job of hiding her distress because the next words out of Bella's mouth were

"I think my hair needs to be curled."

Alice looked at her and started giggling. "Come on, Bella. I'll curl your hair." She took Bella's hand and led her to the bathroom for the second time in the day.

"Bella," she said on the way there.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"That's what friends are for, Alice."

Alice smiled. She was glad she'd found Bella. Even if everything else was complicated, Bella was a good friend and Alice was already sure she wouldn't know what to do without her now.

And Alice didn't know, but Bella felt exactly the same way about her.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, let me know what you guys are thinking. Are you still with me? _


	17. The Reason and Gambling

_A/N: Here's the next chapter. Enjoy._

_Remember, I do not claim to own Twilight or any of the songs used in any of the chapters. But the plot line is mine. _

_

* * *

_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over knew_

_And the reason is you_

_-The Reason by Hoobastank-_

"Is everything okay?" Esme asked as Edward entered the family room.

"With Bella, yes. With me, no," Edward answered. "I have something to confess." He paused.

Everyone in the room looked at him, curiosity in most of their eyes alone with concern in Esme's and something near panic in Tanya's.

"Go on, son. We're listening," Carlisle said softly.

Edward heard the expectation in his voice and suddenly wasn't sure if he could tell them. He'd kept up this charade for so long, what could it possibly hurt to keep them in the dark.

_Bella._

He felt, rather than seen, her behind him. That was his answer. That was why he couldn't keep faking anymore. She was the reason he had to be real. He was completely and irrevocably in love with her. And whether he could have her or not, he could not disappoint her. He wanted to be a man she could be proud of. Whether or not she wanted to take the time to be proud of him. But he could not continue to be this man that put that look displeasure in her eyes.

Edward glanced over his should to see that Bella was indeed standing behind him in the doorway.

He took a breath to calm himself and then said, "Tanya and I are not dating." He heard a gasp. But it had come from Tanya, not either of his parents.

"Edward what are you talking about," Tanya pleaded.

"Please, Tanya, you and I both know this relationship has been a sham for a long time. Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. I don't love Tanya."

Esme was shaking her head.

"Mom I…"

Esme cut him off, "I don't know why you boys think your father and I would ever try to control your love lives."

"You guys just seemed so happy that Tanya and I were dating."

"We were happy…" Esme said. "We know Tanya's family well. We know Tanya. But you weren't happy, that's what matters, dear. Yes I hoped that you two would work out your differences and get married one day. A mother can dream. But I'm sure I'll be happy with who you choose to be your bride, Edward."

Edward looked back and forth between his parents several times before finally looked at Tanya. She was visibly upset and looked like she may start crying at any second.

"Tanya… I'm sorry," Edward said. Maybe he shouldn't have done this in front of everyone. "Can we talk?" he asked gently.

Tanya stood and walked out of the room as gracefully and composed as she could.

Edward turned to follow her. He took a quick look at Bella, who gave him a small smile, before heading from the room.

After the two had left Jasper said, "That was a flashback."

Bella looked at him questioningly.

"Tanya has a sister name Irina."

Bella remembered the name from something Edward had said earlier. Something about her and Jasper.

"I used to think I was supposed to marry her too," Jasper explained.

Esme laughed. "Yes, I remember that. But you never thought to pretend the two of you were dating. You came right out and told us you thought Irina was wrong for you."

"Yes, I remember that well." Carlisle chuckled. "But Jasper has always told us like it is and Edward has always been our little people pleaser."

Jasper smiled up at Bella and motioned for her to join him on the floor. "It probably had a little to do with the fact that Irina and I hated each others guts," he said to his parents.

Bella joined Jasper on the floor.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her cheek. He knew he'd been awful to her. She didn't deserve it.

"Bella, this is my daughter, Kate," he said motioning to the little girl sitting in his lap. "And this is Katie's mother, Jane."

"Nice to meet you, Katie, Jane," Bella said. "I'm Bella, Jasper's girlfriend."

"You as well," Jane said.

Kate just hid her face in her father's shirt.

Jasper took Bella's hand into his. It felt natural. Without Alice around it felt right.

"You look beautiful," he told Bella actually looking at her for the first time today. Her long brown hair was curled; her makeup was natural and understated. And her outfit was killer.

"Thanks," Bella said delicately, resting her head on Jasper's shoulder.

She felt at peace. She could imagine staying like this with Jasper forever. It was comfortable. She hadn't felt that way often on this trip, but she enjoyed the feeling now.

This was how they were supposed to be. Sitting here like this she remembered why she'd fallen in love with Jasper and she internally scolded herself for ever doubting their love.

But her joy was short lived. After a few minutes, Alice entered the room and Jasper let go of her hand at the same time.

Bella wanted to scream. Instead she swallowed hard and forced back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"You and I have to talk later," Bella whispered through gritted teeth into Jasper's ear.

Jasper nodded once without meeting Bella's eyes.

She glared at Alice who immediately shrunk back in her seat. Bella felt bad and quickly rearranged her expression, hoping to convey an apology. It wasn't Alice's fault, after all. All she had done was show up. But still, there was some kind of magnetism between Alice and Jasper that Bella didn't quite understand. Something about the way they looked at each other, like they were getting a first glimpse of heaven. And that bothered Bella because Jasper had never once looked at her like that.

As if the tension in the room weren't palpable enough, Edward walked back into the room with Tanya trailing him.

Bella's eyes were immediately drawn to Edward. He looked suddenly exhausted. His eyes were tired and his hair was in more disarray than normal. She glanced at Tanya whose eyes were slightly red and puffy as if she'd been crying. Her hair and makeup were a mess and her cheeks were slightly red, but there was a glow about her.

Bella carefully glanced back over at Edward. She noticed his expression was guilty and his shirt was on backwards.

Horrified she looked down at her lap and felt the blush creep over her cheeks. She realized they'd done much more than talk.

Bella hastily snuck glances at the others in the room. She was positive she couldn't be the only one who had noticed. But if the others suspected, they certainly weren't letting on.

She chanced a look at Edward to find him staring back at her. His face was a calm mask, but his eyes were another story. They looked almost… tortured. Could that be right? No. Bella knew she must be mistaken.

She turned her attention to the TV were the traditional Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Day game was starting.

The men began discussing stats and the fact that the Lions didn't have a chance in hell to win. They were very absorbed in their conversation, as men often tend to get when discussing sports.

"The Lions are going to win," Alice stated.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Yeah, right," Edward said. "And I'm going to sprout wings and fly around the room."

"I guess that's a sight we'll be seeing soon. They're definitely going to win."

"Wanna put money on it?" Jasper asked.

"A hundred bucks says they win," Alice said confidently.

"Alright," Jasper said.

"I'm in, " Edward added.

"Anyone else?" Alice asked.

"Alice, I don't even watch football and I know it's a bad idea to bet on the Lions," Bella told her.

"We'll see," Alice said.

Outwardly, Edward was smiling now, keeping his revulsion of himself locked inside. No need to ruin anyone else's fun. He hadn't meant to sleep with Tanya, but old habits die hard.

Ha! What a lame excuse! Old habits die hard! Ha! He was pig. A repulsive, dirty pig. The look Bella had given him when he came into the room told him she knew what had happened and she was disgusted too.

Edward had taken Tanya to Carlisle's office to talk to her. He wanted to explain to her how he felt and to apologize for springing it on her in front of everyone.

Tanya had started crying. It made Edward feel horrible. He pulled her into a hug and then all of a sudden she was kissing his jaw and pulling on his hair. He hadn't been able to resist her.

Now he was livid with himself. He knew he was wrong. He knew he needed to change. Bella made him want to change. She made him want to be a different person than the one he'd been for a while now. He tried to concentrate on the football game, but it was impossible. Especially with Tanya sitting next to him and Bella sitting across from him.

Bella kept looking at him with repugnance clear in her eyes. And then she'd look at Tanya with… pity. Was it pity? Yes. She pitied Tanya.

How had things gone so wrong? Edward had been looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving. He'd been so excited to see his brother and to finally meet his girlfriend. But now he could hardly wait to get back to school. Everything was so awkward and strained. He hated it and he loathed himself for making it this way. Because it was, in fact, his entire fault the holiday had turned out this way.

Edward's thoughts were interrupted by Jasper's voice.

"You should just pay up now, Alice. There's no way the Lions are coming back."

"The game is not over yet," Alice said, careful not to look directly at Jasper.

Edward looked at the TV. "Alice," he said "It's 31 – 0 at the end of the third quarter. There is no way they're winning this game."

"Care to raise the stakes, boys?"

"It's your money," Jasper shrugged.

"Two hundred says the Lions make a fourth quarter come back," Alice said again with much confidence.

"You're on," Jasper said.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked. He felt a little guilty taking her money, since she obviously didn't know much about football or the Detroit Lions.

"Are you chickening out, Edward?" she teased.

"Nope. You're on," He said coolly, glancing at Bella who was shaking her head. He wished he could know what she was thinking.

He refocused his attention on the TV as the Lions scored a touchdown. He glanced at Alice who looked at him with smug satisfaction. He shook his head and decided he wouldn't take her money. It would be wrong.

He relaxed and leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He let the easy banter in the room envelope him. Soon the voices melted together and became a low buzzing sound.

The next thing he heard was "No! No! No! NO!"

Edward opened his eyes to see Jasper leaning toward the TV screaming at it. He looked at the score 31-27 and the Lions had just intercepted the ball and were running for another touchdown with not time left on the clock.

Well, shit. The Lions had won.

"Pay up, boys," came Alice's perky voice as she gracefully extended her hand palm up.

Edward reached into his pocket for his wallet and placed the $200 in her waiting hand without complaining. She'd won, fair and square.

Jasper on the other hand grumbled a little about how the Lions would pick today of all days to actually win a game.

Bella laughed. "Alice, that's amazing. Remind me never to bet against you."

The sound of Bella's laugh warmed Edward's heart.

"Sure thing," Alice said.

Esme appeared in the doorway then. Edward hadn't even realized she'd left. "Dinner's ready, guys," she said.

The entire living room cleared out as everyone headed to the dining room.

"Oh, Esme, it smells wonderful," Tanya said.

Edward wished he would have stuck to his guns and sent her home.

"Edward," Esme said pulling him aside.

"Yeah, Mom?" Could she read his mind?

"Go put your shirt on right, please."

Edward looked down. Sure enough his t-shirt was on backwards and he hadn't even noticed. And no one had said anything. No wonder Bella had known what had happened. He was mortified. He hurried to the kitchen to turn his shirt around.

"Esme, let me help you, "Bella said following her into the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Edward there, arms over his head, his t-shirt half off.

She felt the blush crawling up her neck and burning her cheeks and she stood there staring at him, his perfectly muscled chest and stomach on display. He stared back he her and for a moment she was completely frozen in her place.

_Get a grip_, she told herself and then promptly busied herself with one of the serving dishes on the counter. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Edward unfroze and hurriedly pulled his shirt back on and stalked from the kitchen.

She couldn't get the image out of her mind. Yes Jasper had an amazing body, but he had nothing on Edward. Edward looked like an Adonis.

Dinner was extremely awkward. Alice, Esme, Carlisle and Jane tried to make conversation, but the attempts didn't go very far.

Bella mostly kept her eyes on her plate, occasionally sneaking glances at Edward and sometimes Jasper. She noticed Jasper was mostly watching Katie and Alice. Periodically she would meet Edwards's eyes across the table. But she would blush and look away each time.

Bella inwardly sighed a sigh of relief when dinner was over and everyone retired to the living room. She stayed behind to help Esme clean up. When she was done she decided it would be best to avoid everyone. So she went to the living room to say goodnight and then headed to Jasper's room. She wondered how long it would be before Jasper joined her.

* * *

_A/N: For those who don't know, The Detroit Lions are an American football team from my home state of Michigan. And they are terrible. Every year they play a nationally televised game on Thanksgiving. And lately more often than not they loose. But the many dedicated Lions fans in my life gather around the television with the hope they will pull of a win. This chapter is for them._

_I've started work on the next chapter and it is giving me a headache. I believe it is perhaps the single most important chapter in the story and so I want to make it the best that it can be, even if it kills me. So I don't know when I'll be updating again._

_New Moon out this week. Everyone who is going to see it, enjoy! I know I will!_

_And in the mean time check out these stories:  
_

_Not Meant to Be Broken by IWantaWerewolfForMyself_

_Living Backwards by CiaoBella27_

_Controlled Burn by staceygirl aka jackbauer_

_Hydraulic Level 5 by Gondolier_

_All of these stories are absolute magic. So check them out!_


	18. Need

_A/N: Just a quick funny story. The next game the Lions played after I posted the last chapter they actually did win in a comeback win of sorts. I guess you really shouldn't bet against Alice. Haha._

_Anyway, thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and the few of you that reviewed. I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

_I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here_

_I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were_

_Be with me_

_Stay with me_

_Just for now_

_Let the time decide_

_When I won't need you_

_My hand searches for your hand_

_In a dark room_

_I can't find you_

_Help me_

_Are you looking for me?_

_Can I feel anyore?_

_Lie to me, I'm fading_

_I can't drop you_

_Tell me, I don't need you_

_My hand searches for your hand_

_In a dark room_

_I can't find you_

_Help me_

_Are you looking for me?_

_Etch this into my brain for me_

_Tell me, how it's supposed to be_

_Where everything will go_

_And how I'll be without you by my side_

_My hand searches for your hand_

_In a dark room_

_I can't find you_

_Help me_

_Are you looking for me?_

_My hand searches for your hand_

_In a dark room_

_I can't find you_

_Help me_

Are you looking for me?

_-Need by Hana Pestle-_

After Bella left, Jasper tried to draw the night out as long as he could. He wasn't nervous often, but the impending talk that he and Bella were going to have scared him shitless. He had an idea what the conversation would be about and he wasn't sure he was ready to go down that path yet.

When eight o'clock rolled around and Jane announced it was time for her to leave, Jasper almost begged her to stay. But he didn't. He had to be a man and face what was coming to him.

He said goodbye to Jane and to Katie and then he said goodnight to his parents, Edward, Tanya and Alice. Then he headed up to his room, wishing they could at least put this conversation off until Saturday when they'd be back in California. But he knew that wasn't possible.

Jasper opened the door to his bedroom surprised to find the light off. He'd expected Bella to be waiting for him. The turkey must have gotten to her. He let out a sigh of relief and then stripped down to his boxers and quietly crawled into bed.

"Jasper?"

Bella's voice was so small and yet it still startled him because there was something so different about it.

"Yeah, it's me," he said softly.

"Jasper, we need to be honest with each other."

"Bella, why are you speaking with an accent?" Jasper asked, confused.

Bella took a deep breath and began, "I'm from Georgia."

"What?" Was she really awake or was she dreaming?

"I'm not from Seattle, Jasper. I'm from Georgia. I lied to you."

"Why?" He was even more confused. Why the hell would she lie about where she was from? He tried to keep the anger out of his voice. They needed to talk this out, regardless of what it led to. They had to discuss their problems calmly and rationally. "Why would you lie about that?"

"It's a really long story," Bella said.

"Well, I'm listening," Jasper said.

Bella pulled herself into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around her legs. She was glad it was dark. She didn't want to see the look on Jasper's face as she told him everything.

And Bella did tell him everything. From beginning to end, every single detail. She told him every single thing that had scarred her, every horrible detail that was etched into her brain. Jasper was so quiet she though maybe he'd fallen asleep.

"Jasper," she whispered.

"Yeah," his voice was low and gruff. If she didn't know any better she thought it sounded as if he may have been crying.

"Jasper," she said a little louder. "I woke up screaming every night until the first night I stayed with you. And then the screaming stopped. The nightmares were just bad dreams of the past that I could wake up from and go on with my life.

"With you I felt safe. I meant to tell you sooner. I just… I was so… comfortable with our life together. I didn't want to screw it up. I didn't want to rock the boat. The thought of me without you… it scares me."

There was still no response from Jasper.

Bella pulled her legs closer to her chest. Maybe he'd been sleeping when he answered her before. She laid her head on her knees, suddenly exhausted.

"You have a brother?" came Jasper's hoarse voice.

"Yes," Bella said quietly.

"You didn't trust me."

It wasn't an accusation. It was a statement. "I…." Bella wasn't sure what to say.

"It's alright, Bella," Jasper said, his voice stronger. He reached for her hand. "I guess the truth is… we hardly know each other." He finished, his voice barely above a whisper now.

The words hung in the air.

"I'm sorry you've been holding that in for so long, Bella. I'm sorry about the bad things that happened to you when you were younger. I really wish I could take away that pain for you."

Bella felt Jasper shift and she realized he was sitting up. His arms were around her within the next seconds. He pulled her into his chest and began stroking her hair.

They were quiet. Bella listened to Jasper's steady heartbeat. She listened to the sound of his breathing and it calmed her. The way Jasper always calmed her. The two of them sat like that for along time until Jasper finally spoke again.

"I haven't been totally honest with you either."

Bella gently pulled away to look at Jasper's face. The moon was behind a cloud and virtually no light shown through the window, so she really couldn't see his expression.

"I messed up a bit in high school. I kinda fell in with the wrong crowd for a while. I spent a lot of time getting into trouble, getting drunk and high. I almost didn't graduate. But because of who my father is, those things were overlooked and I got into USC. I went there to please my parents, but also to be far away from them. I guess I felt like even though they were controlling my destiny, being across the country they couldn't control my every movement.

"It was torture for me to go into medicine. I've never been into the academic side of school. I'm an artist. I wanted to paint. And you… I was drawn to you because you are an artist as well. You were following your dreams. Through your music I felt like maybe I could keep my artistic dream alive… at least in my mind. Through you I kept in touch with my creativity. I wouldn't lose it the way I had watched my brother lose his under my parent's watchful eye.

" I didn't fell like I needed my own art so much. Is this making sense?"

Bella nodded though he couldn't see it.

"I don't know if I ever meant for it to get so serious between us and I don't think you did either. We both gravitated to each other because there was something about the other that numbed the pain inside of us. You with your music and me with my calming presence. I think we were crutches for each other. If we had each other we could get by without actually living."

"Did you just decide this?" There was an angry edge to Bella's voice.

Jasper squeezed her hand. "No, Bella… I've been slowly realizing this since the day you quit that band."

"That was over six months ago!" Bella nearly shouted she was so surprised. She hadn't noticed that Jasper had been slipping away from her. Suddenly she felt scared. She needed Jasper. She needed him to see that. She needed him to see that she couldn't live without him. That she depended on him. That he was her entire life.

Bella's breathing became very quick and very shallow.

"Bella, baby, it's okay." Jasper said rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Jasper…" Bella breathed, "please… don't do this. I need you."

"No, you don't need me."

"Yes. I do," Bella fought back. She wasn't ready for this to end here like this. Not when she was still so undecided. "You and I are so good together," her voice was pleading.

"Honey… you and I are comfortable together. You said it yourself." Jasper pulled her into his arms again. "We've been using each other, both of us afraid of being alone and facing the world on our own."

"But I love you, Jasper. I thought we were happy," Bella said softly.

"Of course I love you too, Bella. And of course we were happy together. But not as happy as we could be. And I think you know that too."

And Bella did know that. Or at least she knew it was true for him. He could be happier. Alice could make him happier. And she knew he was right about them being comfortable. That was exactly how she had described it. She sighed and leaned into Jasper's chest.

"I love you enough to let you be happy," Bella whispered into his shoulder and the tears finally spilled over.

"You'll be happier too Bella."

"I… I don't know," she said through her tears. "I'm… not sure… if I can live without you."

"You don't have to live without me, Bella. I'll always be your friend. I'll always be there for you. Please don't cry, sweetie. It's going to be okay. You'll find someone else."

Bella breathed in Jasper's scent. She felt his strong arms around her and realized this was the last time they'd ever be like this together. The realization brought on a fresh wave of tears. It was really hard to let him go and though she didn't want to admit it, deep inside she knew he was right.

Jasper held her tight and stroked her hair as she cried.

When Bella was finally able to get control of her emotions she whispered into Jasper's chest, "So this is it?"

Jasper was glad he couldn't see Bella's face because her voice sounded so broken. All of the fight had left her and she sounded resigned. He couldn't find his own voice to answer so instead he nodded.

"This is how it ends," Bella said more to herself than to him. And he felt her body begin to quake again with the arrival of fresh tears.

"Bella," his voice was soft, "you're going to be okay. Everything will be okay. I promise you. This is for the best." He squeezed her one last time, kissed the top of her head and then pulled away. "You'll see, Bella, you'll see. It's all gonna work out." Then he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was tired and shaky.

"I'm going to sleep in the living room."

"Oh." It was all Bella could say. She was exhausted and incredibly sad. She couldn't believe their relationship had ended this way. She hadn't been ready for it to end. Not yet. She felt so lost and confused. But she thought that maybe she could see a light at the end of the dark tunnel. She knew eventually she would be okay and that knowledge gave her comfort. She was scared. She loved Jasper. And though they were virtually strangers to each other, they had been through something together. And she almost felt like a piece of her was missing.

She doubted she'd ever find the true happiness that Jasper had spoke of. The type of happiness she knew he and Alice would have together. That didn't exist for her. She knew she was bound to spend the rest of her life just existing as he had put it.

Bella lay down and pulled her knees to her chest and curled into a ball. Right now she wanted to wallow in her sorrow. Before she met Jasper she had been drowning in pain and in guilt. With him she'd been able to keep herself a float. Now that it was over between them she wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep her head above water. She had no choice but to try to continue treading water. She knew she wouldn't be able to swim. The riptide would destroy her if she fought against it. But she knew she couldn't let her self sink either. She couldn't let her pain drag her under and drown her. So, she'd be treading water for as long as she could, hoping somebody would notice and pull her free.

But she knew that it was sure to be a long, exhausting road ahead.

* * *

_A/N: So hopefully you enjoyed it. Let me know what you're thinking._

_A few must reads:_

_Hydraulic Level 5 by Gondelier_

_Its an amazing story. It'll make you laugh and cry and it'll make you mad and happy. It's one of the best things I've ever read Fanfiction or otherwise. _

_And also check out _

_How to Save A Life by _

_Also amazing. I'm hooked on it. _


	19. The Way I Loved you and Already Gone

_A/N: I want to thank 1dreamkeeper and 12vampgirl34 for commenting consistently on the last few chapters. I appreciate it guys. And also thanks to everyone who is reading. Its the only reason I'm still writing._

_This chapter actually was extremely hard to write. I rewrote it about 5 or 6 times. So hopefully it comes out right. I'm pretty satisfied with it though. _

_Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Everything's cool, yeah_

_It's all gonna be okay, yeah_

_And I know I may even laugh about it_

_Someday, but not today, no_

_Cause I don't feel so good_

_I'm tangled up inside_

_My heart is on my sleeve_

_Tomorrow is a mystery to me_

_And it might be wonderful_

_It might be magical_

_It might be everything I've waited for_

_A miracle_

_Oh, but even if I fall in love again with someone new_

_It will never be the way I loved you_

_Letting you go is_

_Making me feel so cold, yeah_

_And I've been trying to make believe_

_It doesn't hurt_

_But that makes it worse, yeah_

_See, I'm a wreck inside_

_My tongue is tied_

_And my whole body feels so weak_

_The future may be all I really need_

_And it might be wonder_

_It might be magical_

_It might be everything I've waited for_

_A miracle_

_Oh, but even if I fall in love again with someone new_

_It will never be the way I loved you_

_-The Way I Loved You by Selena Gomez-_

Bella sat on the bed and watched as Jasper packed the last few remaining things that belonged to him. It was tearing her heart out. She had foolishly believed that once they were back in California Jasper would change his mind. That he would realize they were supposed to stay here together and just be happy.

Maybe that was selfish of here. To tell the truth, Bella knew everything was going to be okay. At least deep down inside she did. But she was terrified. Probably of being alone. And it did hurt. She didn't really want to let Jasper go. He had been her whole world for so long now.

She watched as Jasper folded the last of his t-shirts and stuffed it into his suitcase. He looked down at her.

"Bella, you know that this is for the best, right?"

Bella looked up and met his eyes. She'd been fighting back the tears all week and she just wasn't strong enough to hold them back anymore.

She didn't cry when he told her he was moving out. She didn't even cry when he told her he was quitting school and moving back to New York. Somehow she thought this would take longer than the week it had taken. But when he told her this was for the best, this was what brought her to tears. Of course she knew it was true. But she couldn't believe it. Not when it felt like her heart was being shredded into a million pieces. Not when she wasn't sure she could survive without him. And trying to pretend that she knew she could was just making her more anxious. But, yes, she knew it was for the best.

She kept wishing someone would shake her awake and tell her it was all a bad dream. But she knew it couldn't be a dream because she hadn't slept enough to actually dream. Jasper had taken to sleeping on the couch leaving her alone in the bed. She couldn't imagine what it would be like once he actually left if it was this bad now and he was just in the next room. Once he was really gone, for good.

"Bella, please, please don't cry," Jasper begged.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Bella said through her tears. "I know you're right, but I just can't convince myself this is the right thing."

"Bella, honey, I don't what to say to make you understand… we were destroying each other."

Bella looked at him startled.

"I know that seems harsh," Jasper said. "But its true. We both have wounds from the past that need to heal. Together you and I just cover them up. But they never get any better. They are still there, festering, getting worse. In the end, neither of us would be happy."

Bella just stared at him. She couldn't believe this was the way he felt. Even though it made sense in her head, her heart didn't want to believe it.

Jasper reached out and took Bella's face into his hands. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and kissed her forehead. "Trust me on this one thing, Bella. This is a good thing." He stroked her cheek once and then said, "I've gotta go. You're strong darling. It'll be okay."

Bella nodded. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to hold herself together. She felt weak and tired. She watched as Jasper picked up his bag and walked out. He didn't look back.

Remember all the things we wanted

_Now all our memories are haunted_

_We were always meant to say goodbye_

_Even with our fists held high_

_It never would have worked out right_

_We were never meant for do or die_

_I didn't want us to burn out_

_I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop_

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_

_Where we take this road, someone's gotta go_

_And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better_

_But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone_

_Looking at you makes it harder_

_But I know that you'll find another_

_That doesn't always make you want to cry_

_Started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in_

_Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go_

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_

_Where we take this road, someone's gotta go_

_And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better_

_But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone_

_I'm already gone, already gone_

_You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong_

_-Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson-_

Jasper couldn't look back at Bella as he left. If he did he might not have the resolve to actually leave. He hadn't planned to actually leave so fast. He thought he'd stay until the New Year, tie up all his lose ends. But he quickly realized that was a bad idea. He and Bella were too comfortable with each other. He'd never leave if he didn't do it know.

And he had to leave. He'd meant what he said about them destroying each other. It wasn't like they meant it. Of course they didn't. But it was the truth. They just covered up each other's problems. They didn't talk about them. And that just wasn't healthy.

Yeah, it hurt like hell to leave her. He did love Bella. But the truth was, he hardly knew her. And he didn't want to hurt her either. He could see how much it was hurting her to do this. But it was definitely for the best. That he believed whole- heartedly.

As he drove to the airport he began to reflect on their relationship. He'd been so blind. He'd made himself believe things were perfect, but in reality, the relationship had been a sinking ship from the beginning. They were too dependent on each other. And not in a good way.

He'd known it for a while, but he hadn't want to admit it. He thought maybe they'd just hit a rough patch. He had hoped that the trip home would help fix things. Once Bella met his family, maybe that would make things better. But it hadn't. That idea had blown up in his face.

And he hoped Bella knew this had nothing to do with Alice. That this would have happened with or without her. Maybe not as soon, but eventually. He and Bella were just not meant to be together. He could feel that. He knew that deep in his heart. And his heart had been trying to tell him that for a while.

He sincerely hoped that Bella would be able to move on. She deserved to find happiness with the all the shit she'd been through in her life. Her past was fucked up. And she really did deserve some who would be there for her with their whole heart and soul. He wished that for her.

Fuck. His thoughts were reminding him of that cheesy Whitney Houston song. What was the name? "I Will Always Love You" or some shit like that. But it was true. He would always love her. He did hope they could be friends again one day. That they could actually have a healthy relationship with each other someday.

But for now, this was how it had to be. This was what was best for both of them.

#*#$

Bella sat cross-legged on the bed, staring at her hands. She was thinking about if she would ever see Jasper again. She knew she would if she and Alice remained friends. She wondered if she would be able to stand seeing Alice and Jasper together. She wondered how much it would hurt.

Bella knew she couldn't just sit on the bed and ponder Jasper's future forever, though it was tempting. She had to figure out her own future. It gave her something to occupy her mind.

When she had moved in with Jasper he had convinced her that she didn't need to get a job. That he was already making the payments on his apartment by himself so he didn't need her help. Now that she'd met his family and seen where he came from she knew why. She'd contributed what she could when she had paying gigs with her band Midnight Angel. But other than that, Jasper had pretty much paid for everything.

Of course Jasper was too much of a gentleman to leave her in a pinch, so he kindly paid the next 6 months of rent in advance. And he told her if she needed more time just to let him know. She already felt like 6 months was too long, but he'd done it without talking to her, knowing she'd protest.

She knew she'd need to find a job soon and start saving for something more affordable. Something smaller, since Jasper's apartment was more that she needed for herself. Huh? It was funny that she'd always thought of it as Jasper's apartment and not their apartment. Another sign that Jasper was right.

So the plan was to find a job and then a smaller apartment. She could do this on her own. Even if it was hard, even if it hurt.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Bella didn't know who it could be. She was sure if Jasper had forgotten something he would just come back in. But then, maybe he felt he didn't live here anymore.

Bella moved quickly from the bedroom to the door and opened it hesitantly.

"Emmett!" She shouted and jumped into her brothers waiting arms.

"Bells! I've missed you so much." Emmett boomed.

"Emmett!" Bella gasped, "I… can't … breathe!"  
"Oh, sorry." Emmett set her back on her feet.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. The last time they had talked his parole hearing was set for later in the month.

"I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?"  
"Yes! But how are you here? Isn't this a violation of your parole?"

"I had to get permission to move out of state, but I told them you lived in California and that this was were I would be staying until I go back on my feet. So they gave me permission."

"Em, I'm so glad you're here," Bella said hugging him again.

"Me too. You don't mind if I stay here with you, do you?"

"No. Of course not."

"And your boyfriend won't mind?"  
"Uh, actually, we broke up," Bella said looking down at her feet.

"What? When? I thought you said he was good for you."

"Yeah, well, I guess things don't always work out the way you want them to," Bella said harshly, clenching and unclenching her fists trying to fight back the tears again.

"You want me to kick his ass, Bells?"  
Bella looked at Emmett and couldn't help but laugh. "No, Em. You just got out of jail. I don't want you to go back."

"Are you okay? He asked putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I will be."

"You wanna talk about it?"  
"Nah."  
Emmett sighed a sigh of relief and Bella laughed. She was glad to have her big brother back. It helped fill the void that Jasper left inside her.

"This is a nice place, Bells," Emmett said, ruffling her hair.

"Don't get used to it. We're not staying."

"Oh. Ass kicked you out?"

"No. He moved back to New York. But I can't afford this place. I'm going to get a job and I'm going to find some place cheaper."

"Oh. Okay. What about school?"

"What about it?"

"You're still planning to finish right?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Bella shook her head. She felt so guilty. Emmett had graduated from college before the whole Phil incident. He'd gotten a degree in physical education and now he'd never be able to use it. His future was ruined because of her.

"Well, Bell, I'm tired. Mind if I use your bathroom and then hit they hay."

"Make yourself at home, Emmett," she said sadly and then headed for her bedroom to get some sleep herself. She suddenly felt like her exhaustion would overwhelm her.

Bella's dreams returned full force that night. But they had changed somewhat. At first the dream was just like before. _But then just after Emmett burst through the door she ran from the room screaming and crying, knowing what was about to happen. _

_She just kept running. Her mind had no idea where she was going, but her feet seemed to know. And then she saw the Cullen's house and was filled with immediate relief as she ran up the driveway and into the house._

_But once inside she felt uneasy. She realized that she was looking for Edward and not Jasper. She came around the corner to find Edward and Tanya having sex. She screamed and began crying again. She turned and ran called for Jasper over and over again._

_She needed him to comfort her. She ran up the stairs to Jasper's room. The door was closed. She felt anxious as she slowly inched toward the door. _

_"Jasper" she called, opening the door. And there was Jasper entwined with Alice in a passionate kiss._

_"No!" She screamed as suddenly Emmett's gun went off. But instead of shooting Phil, the rifle was aimed at Jasper._

Bella sat up screaming.

"Bells!" Emmett flipped on the light and quickly crossed the room to the bed. "You okay?"

Bella didn't say anything. She just started crying.

Emmett sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her into his lap, patting her hair and trying to calm her.

Bella thought she knew what the dream meant, for the most part. It meant that the one person who gave her comfort and peace of mind was gone. He wasn't hers anymore. For so long he had soothed her fears. He had calmed her and relieved her anxieties. But he never would again. And that scared the shit out of her. Jasper was really gone. Really, really gone. And that alone caused a new round of bitter tears.

* * *

_A/N: Yay! Emmett is here. Were you surprised?_

_So, I'm thinking this is the last chapter like this and next we'll start moving into the moving on part. But I guess I won't know until I actually sit down and start writing._

_Okay, review, comment, tell me you love it, like it, hate it. Let me know._


	20. World Spins Madly On

_A/N: I don't know about you guys, but I missed Edward. So here's some Edward. Enjoy!_

* * *

_Woke up and wished that I was dead_

_With an aching in my head_

_I lay motionless in bed_

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_And let the world spin madly on _

_-World Spins Madly On by The Weepies-_

"Edward! Get your ass out of bed, now!" Edward's roommate Rosalie yelled through the closed door.

Edward rolled out of bed and put on the first clothes that touched his hand.

"So help me Edward, if you make us late for this party I will…"

"Alright, Rose. I'm ready," Edward said opening his door and cutting off Rosalie's threat.

"Ugh. Edward, I can't believe you're going out in public looking like that. I can't believe I have to be seen with you looking like that," Rose ranted.

"You're so vain," Edward shot at her.

"What the fuck is your problem, lately?" she snapped at him.

Edward just shook his head. He wasn't discussing that now. And definitely not with Rosalie.

"I thought you were bead when you came back from Thanksgiving break. But you've been un-fucking-bearable since you came back from Christmas. All you do is sleep and mope and I'm fucking sick of your shit.

"So, then let me stay home tonight and you won't have to deal with me," he snapped back at her.

"Oh, you'd like that. Fuck no. You're going out tonight and you're going to act like the Edward I know and tolerate. No more of this emo bullshit."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair as he listened to Rosalie's tirade. He loved her, but he just wanted to be left alone. He couldn't really explain what was wrong with him. It didn't really make much sense.

When he had come back from Thanksgiving he'd had a hard time getting back into his normal routines. His mind was completely occupied by Bella. He wondered what she was doing. He wondered if she was laughing or crying, what classes she was attending. Bella consumed all of his thoughts. He couldn't even look at other girls without feeling guilty.

Edward began to looking forward to going home for Christmas just so he could see Bella again. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.

Then when he got home he found out Jasper and Bella had broken up on Thanksgiving. He was positively crushed. It hurt that Bella was no longer going to be a part of his life in any way at all. He'd probably never see her again. And the thought of never seeing her again was enough to bring him to his knees.

Edward knew he couldn't explain it to Rosalie. She definitely wasn't the mushy type. She'd probably tell him to grow a pair and act like a man.

He tried to push the despair aside but it took too much energy. And energy was something he didn't have anymore. He almost felt like he'd lost all reason to go on. That was a scary feeling, to feel so lost without someone. Especially someone he hardly knew. But that didn't change the way he felt. And it was seriously affecting him.

"Hello! Edward," Rosalie said waving a hand in front of his face. "At least go put on a clean shirt. I'm gonna get you liquored up so you'll talk."

Edward reluctantly went to change his shirt, dreading the night. He and Rose were going to a big New Year's Eve party. He really wasn't looking forward to pretending to be celebratory when all he wanted to do was "mope" as Rosalie had put it.

"Much better," Rose said when he emerged from his room. "And you haven't said a word about how I look tonight."

As if she didn't already know. Rosalie was one of the most gorgeous people Edward had ever met. She had long platinum blonde hair and intense hazel eyes. Her creamy complexion was flawless and she had a killer body. And she always managed to look like she stepped off the runway.

Tonight was no exception. Her hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders and her makeup was perfection. She was dressed to kill in a black halter-top dress with a neckline that plunged way down past her belly button. And the skirt was one of those asymmetrical deals that are cut at an angle. She looked fucking hot. It was a slutty dress, but Rose somehow made it look classy, as she always did with those kinds of things. It always surprised him that he had never tried to hook up with her she was so damn hot. But he and Rosalie had always just been friends.

"You look gorgeous, as always, Rose."

"I know," she said linking her arm with his and dragging him out the door.

Edward sighed. Sometimes Rosalie was just too much. She just wouldn't let things go. Tonight she was going to force him to at least act like he was having a good time.

Well after midnight Rosalie and Edward stumbled into their apartment. Edward had to admit the booze had eased his pain considerably. He had actually enjoyed himself for the most part in his alcohol-induced haze.

"Alright, Cullen, speak," Rose barked at him as she let go of his arm and he dropped to the couch.

"Fuck Rose," Edward growled. "Isn't it enough that I went to the damn party with you?"  
"No. I made may plans clear at the beginning of the night."

"I figured you'd forget."

"I haven't had nearly as much alcohol as you have, Eddie Boy. And besides you should know me better than that."

"Ugh," Edward scrubbed his face with the heels of his hands. He did know her better than that, but he had hoped.

"Spill," Rose commanded. "What's got your panties in a twist."

Edward didn't want to tell her, but Rosalie was persistent and ruthless. She never stopped until she got what she wanted. He was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget that fact and he knew they could do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way being that he just talked. The hard way consisting of a lot of not so idle threats.

He chose the easy way. "Okay, fine," he slurred. "I met a girl."

"A girl! I never thought I'd see the day, Mr. Cullen, when you'd get all bent out of shape about a girl," Rose teased.

"Ro-o-se!" Edward shouted at her.

"Alright, Alright. Calm down. So who's this girl? The weird little pixie from the plane you told me about?" she guessed.

Edward shook his head. "I don't want to do this," he mumbled.

"Too bad. Now spit it out before I force it out of you."

"What do you call this?"  
"It could get a lot worse and you know it."

He did know it. "Fine. It's Bella."

"Bella! Your brother's girlfriend, Bella?"

Edward nodded.

"That's low. Even for you, Edward."

"Gee, thanks," he replied sarcastically. "She's his ex-girlfriend now, by the way."

"Like that makes it better."

"I know, I know. Now you know why I didn't want to fucking tell you."

"Well at least I know what's been bothering you. I suppose I'd act the same if I was lusting after my brother's girlfriend."

"_Ex-_girlfriend. And I'm not lusting. It's way more than that."

"What are you saying?" Rose looked at him like he'd lost his damn mind. Maybe he had.

He hesitated before replying quietly, "I'm in love with her."

Rosalie dropped to the couch next to him like the wind had been knocked out of her. "Are you sure?" Her voice was very small. "Are you even sure you're capable of that emotion?"

That stung a bit. It made him angry. "You haven't known me long enough to know what I'm capable of," he spat at her.

"Calm down, fuckhead," Rose spat back. "That's why I'm asking. I haven't known you long, but I know you've never had a serious relationship. I know you're all about the fuck and run. And now you're saying you're in love with your brother's girlfriend…"

Edward shot her a pointed look.

"Ex-girlfriend, whatever. This is serious territory you've stumbled on and you can't go fucking it up. You make a move on her you better be pretty damn sure of your feelings because you're gonna get a lot of shit about it."

Edward groaned. Rosalie was right.

"It doesn't matter," Edward muttered.

"Because…"

"I'll never see her again."

"You're such a pussy, Edward. If you really love her, you'll find her."

"How romantic, Rose," Edward teased her.

"Hey I never said I didn't like romance. I just don't like weak, sappy men."

Edward laughed. A weak, sappy man would never be able to handle Rose. She would rip him apart.

"I think you need to grow a pair and talk to Jasper about it," Rosalie told him.

Edward shook his head. He'd known she'd find a way to tell him to grow a pair. "I have to sort through my thoughts first."

"You sound like such a girl, Edward. I'm going to bed now."

"Night, Rosalie," he called after her.

Surprisingly he felt better after talking to Rosalie. But he wasn't sure if he'd be able to talk to Jasper. That was something he'd really have to think about.

Edward stretched out on the couch, his thoughts automatically turning to Bella. He longed to see her smile and hear her laugh. He felt like a part of him was missing without her. He wondered if she ever thought of him at all.

Edward fell asleep imagining Bella was here in his arms. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

_A/N: So here's the deal. I really really want to give everyone a happy ending, but I finding it hard to stay motivated to continue writing this. I really need to find out if its worth it for me to continue on. _

_Oh and if you would like to see the inspiration for Rose's dress go to my homepage for the link. _


	21. Heavily Broken

_A/N: First I'd like to thank Emerald-Forever for the good advice and thisisntmyapartment for correcting a mistake in the first chapter that I've since taken care of. Thanks guys. I'd also like to thank everyone who read and commented on the last chapter. I love you guys._

_Anyway, this chapter is short, but I promise to make it up with the next chapter which is almost finished!_

* * *

Bella looked at the clock and began to pace. Mike, her date, was late. She sighed and thought about calling him to see if everything was all right. But she didn't want to seem desperate. She definitely wasn't desperate. Well, not really.

But ever since she'd gotten the call from Alice about a month ago asking for permission to date Jasper, Bella had been anxious to start moving on.

_"Hi Bella!" Alice cheerful voice chirped through the phone. _

_"Alice! How is everything?"_

_The two of them talked for about 20 minutes about school and Bella's new apartment. And then suddenly Alice hit her with it._

_"Is it too soon for me to ask if I can date Jasper?"  
"What!" Bella choked. She hadn't been expecting that._

_"Jasper," Alice said quietly. "I wanted your permission, but if it's too soon, I understand."_

_"No, Alice."_

_"Okay."_

_Bella heard the disappointment in her voice and realized that Alice had misunderstood. Well, she hadn't exactly been clear. _

_"I'm sorry," Bella said. "I meant, no it's not too soon. I just… I thought you guys were already dating."_

_"Silly Bella," Alice said, her voice cheery once again. "We both care about you too much to do that to you. And whether you choose to believe it or not, Jasper needed time to get over you too."_

_Bella didn't believe that, but it was nice to hear anyway. And two months was a good amount of time. She smiled. "Of course you have my permission, Alice. You and Jasper are made for each other."_

_"Oh, thank you, Bella!" Alice squealed. "And I think you should start dating again. I can feel someone special is waiting for you to find them."_

_"Thanks Alice."_

And that was what had led Bella to this point. In the past month she had been on dates with Peter, who had consistently called her Belly Bells even after she asked him not to; Paul, who had accused to waiter of hitting on her and then proceeded to hit him; Seth who was sweet, but was much too young; Eric who was greasy and talked too much about comic books and Tyler who told her he knew of a nice little Mexican restaurant that turned out to be Taco Bell and then he texted incessantly through the entire date.

Bella was beginning to think that maybe she wasn't cut out for dating.

"Bella, stop pacing," Emmett told her.

"I'm sorry. This is ridiculous! He's almost a half hour late. Why do I attract such losers?"

"Calm down, Bells. Maybe his car broke down or something. And yes you are a loser magnet but it's only because you're too nice to tell them to get lost."

"Thank you very much, Emmett. You've made me feel sooo much better," she said sarcastically as she leaned on the arm of the sofa.

_"I'm heavily broken and I don't know what to do. Can't you see that I'm choking and I can't even move? When there's nothing left to say what can you do?"_

Bella dug her cell phone from her purse.

"You really need to change that ring tone," Emmett told her. "It's so depressing."

Bella threw him a dirty look before looking at the caller ID and grumbling "Finally," before answering.

"Hello."

"Bella? It's Mike."

"Hi, Mike," she said trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Listen, there's been a change of plans?"

"A change of plans" she repeated not even bothering to hide her incredulous tone. Why had she even agreed to go out with him?

"Yeah. Would you mind coming to my place?"

Bella sighed. She had to at least give him a chance. She wasn't going to move on from Jasper if she didn't. Maybe he did have a good reason for the change. Maybe he was having car trouble like Emmett suggested.

"Sure, Mike. Just give me the directions."

Mike gave her the directions and Bella realized he lived more than an hour away from campus. That didn't really help with her attitude. But then she felt bad because it wasn't really his fault he lived so far away. Well, it was, but she couldn't fault him for it. She hung up with Mike, said goodbye to Emmett and headed out to her truck.

**********

"Jasper, I have to talk to you about something," Alice said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lightly pecked his lips.

"Yes, dear?" Jasper asked as he nuzzled Alice's neck.

"It's about Bella."

Jasper pulled back and looked at her.

"She is my friend, Jasper and you promised to stay friends with her too, so don't look at me that way."

"It's just random, Ally. That's all. I wasn't expecting you to talk to me about Bella."

"Yes, well, that's what I want to talk to you about."

"Okay. I guess, let's talk about Bella."

"And Edward," Alice said.

"Bella and Edward? No. I don't like the direction this conversation is going."

"You don't know where it's going."

"You want to play matchmaker with my ex-girlfriend and my little brother?" Jasper guessed.

"Okay, so maybe you do know where it's going," Alice conceded. "But you can't tell me you didn't notice the chemistry between them."

"So what if I did? That would just be weird."

"Jazzy, they deserve to be happy too. Don't you want that for them?" She raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to tell her he didn't want them to be happy.

"Of course I do. You know that," Jasper said exasperated. In the short time he'd been with Alice, they hadn't argued much, but he never won. And he knew he probably wouldn't win this one either. But he figured it was worth a shot to continue. "I just don't know if it's a good idea for the two of them to be together. I know my brother. He's never had a serious relationship. He's basically a whore."

"That's harsh, Jazz. But you saw the way he looked at her."

"I also saw the way he had absolutely no problem with fucking Tanya with the whole family home and then practically rubbing it in everyone's faces!" Jasper was close to shouting. He didn't want to fight with Alice about this. But he was still protective over Bella whether he wanted to admit that or not. And he didn't trust his brother not to completely destroy her.

Alice reached up and began rubbing Jasper's shoulders. "It's alright Jasper," she said. "I understand you want to protect Bella, but I really think you should trust me."

"Even if I was okay with it, Bella wouldn't go out with Edward because we told her to."

"That's why she won't know we had anything to do with it."

"And how does that work?" Jasper knew he'd lost the battle. There was no point in fighting. Now he just wondered how Alice's plan would work.

"Well, I thought that maybe you could ask Edward to call her to check on her. Tell him you're not ready to talk to her or whatever and then let them take it from there."

"What if he doesn't want to call her?"

"He will. I guarantee it."

*********

"So, let me get this straight," Edward said into the phone, "You're worried about Bella and you want me to call and check on her?"

"Yeah," Jasper confirmed. "I don't think she's ready to talk to me or Alice. We're going to give her a little time. But we want to make sure she's okay."

"Why me? Why not have Mom or Dad call her?"

"You know they'd end up making me do it. Please just giver her a call," Jasper begged.

Edward ran his hand through his hair and then pinched the bridge of his nose. It was weird that Jasper wanted him to call Bella. Was this a test or something? He enjoyed the idea of calling, hearing her voice again, but he didn't want to make Jasper angry with him.

"I'm not going to call her," Edward said hoping his voice sounded convincing.

"Why not?" Jasper's voice sounded relieved and frustrated at the same time, further confusing Edward.

"Because first of all, that would be weird. And second, I don't want to."

Jasper was a bit relieved. He had been afraid that Edward would be too eager to get a hold of Bella. But then he supposed that was silly. Being the kind of guy Edward was required convenience. And since Bella was all the way across the country there was none. He was sure if Bella lived in the same city, hell maybe even the same state, Edward would have no problem calling her.

"Alright, Edward, don't call her," he said. Alice glared at him from across the room. "I already gave you her phone number if you change your mind," he added hoping to appease Alice.

"I won't change my mind," Edward stated.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later." He hung up the phone and turned to Alice.

"He didn't want to call her?" She looked confused.

"That's what he said. He said it was weird and he didn't want to."

"Hmph." Alice wasn't used to being wrong and she didn't like it. She'd been so sure Edward would jump at the chance to call Bella. She'd felt it. They were perfect for each other.

"It's alright, Alice," Jasper said pulling her close and kissing her cheek.

"I guess I just wanted Bella to feel at least a tenth of the happiness that I feel," she said.

Jasper smiled at her. "Yeah. That's a lot of happiness."

**********

_"I'm heavily broken and I don't know what to do. Can't you see that I'm choking and I can't even move? When there's nothing left to say what can you do?"_

Bella sighed as she heard her cell phone. She reached over to the passenger side to dig it out of her purse. Emmett was right, she did need to change her ring tone. She loved the song, but it was depressing. She'd never be able to move on if she was reminded of her pain every time her phone rang.

She found her cell and flipped it open without looking at the caller ID. It was probably Mike and if he had another change of plans she'd kill him. She was more than half way to his house now.

"Hello," she answered angrily.

"B…Bella?" a voice that certainly wasn't Mike's stuttered.

* * *

_A/N: Bella's ringtone is "Heavily Broken" by The Veronicas. Its a great song! _

_Check out these stories if you have time:_

_Hydraulic Level 5 by Gondelier_

_Controlled Burn by staceygirl aka jackbauer_

_Living Backwards by CiaoBella27_

_Not Meant to Be Broken by IWantaWerewolfForMyself_

_A Tangible Dichotomy by PerfectlyPersuasive_


	22. Calling You

_A/N: I don't think I fooled you guys. I think most of you know who's on the other line. But just in case you didn't I've hurried to post this chapter. _

_Thanks for the wonderful comments again! Love you guys._

_

* * *

_

_I will keep calling you to see_

_If you're sleeping, are you dreaming_

_If you're dreaming, are dreaming of me_

_-Calling You - Blue October_

Bella's heart thudded in her chest. She recognized that voice. She had to be dreaming. Why would he be calling her? She was too stunned to speak.

"Hello? Bella?" the voice came at her again.

This had to be a joke.

"Bella!" The voice was louder, slightly panicked.

She realized she hadn't answered yet and if she didn't within the next few seconds he'd probably hang up.

"Edward?" she squeaked out and mentally scolded herself for letting him affect her this way.

"Yeah," his velvet voice said shyly. "I hope its okay that I called you."

"How did you get this number?" she blurted out. She regretted that she sounded almost angry as she said it.

"Um… Jasper asked me to call you," Edward said.

Now it made perfect sense. Jasper was worried about her, but was too chicken shit to call himself. Now Bella actually was angry.

"Tell Jasper I'm fine and that I'm actually on my way to a date right now," she spat into the phone.

Yeah, okay. I will," his voice sounded defeated.

"Was that it, Edward? Tell Jasper to do his own dirty work from now on." She placed her finger on the end button.

"Bella…"

Something in Edward's voice stopped her from hanging up. She waited, but he didn't continue. "Yes, Edward?" she said harshly, unable to hide her irritation with the situation.

"I…" Edward began. "I didn't call you because Jasper asked me too."

"Oh?" Now she was curious why he did call her then.

"He asked me to call, but I told him I wasn't going to."

"Yet, here we are on the phone."

"Yes. I…". How did he tell her why he called without freaking her out? He couldn't tell her that he hadn't stopped thinking about her since they met. "I guess I really enjoyed talking to you when we met. I thought maybe…" he trailed off. He sounded like an idiot. Thanksgiving was months ago. She probably barely remembered who he was. But she had known it was him. She'd answered the phone angrily, which made him think she didn't want to talk to him. Especially when she didn't say anything after he spoke. But she'd sounded surprised when she said his name, which made him realize she was probably trying to figure out who was calling her during all the silence.

It was probably a bad idea to call her. He'd known it would be weird.

"I enjoyed talking to you then too," Bella said. Her tone was softer now. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

Bella and Jasper were supposed to have stayed through Saturday morning, but they'd ended up leaving early Friday when everyone was still asleep. Edward knew now it was because they had broken up and were hurrying to separate their lives.

"I was a little upset, but I guess I understand it now."

Bella blushed and then told herself to stop. He was probably upset he didn't get to say goodbye to his brother, not to her.

"Yeah. Everything happened so fast."

"You wanna talk about it?" Edward asked. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear about their breakup or if he just wanted to hear her voice. He decided he did want to hear about it because he wanted to comfort her. She sounded so sad speaking about it.

"You don't really want to hear about it."

"I wouldn't have asked if that were true."

"I've already unloaded enough of my drama on you." Bella insisted.

"Bella."

The way he said her name sent chills down her spine.

"You really don't mind?" she asked.

"Tell me all about it."

"Well…" she said slowly, "after Jasper came to bed Thanksgiving we were supposed to talk about our relationship. We'd been having problems for a while, but everything seemed so… intense at your parent's house. Kind of magnified. We talked for a bit. I told him _everything."_ She whispered the last part. She was still uncomfortable speaking of her past.

"And then he broke up with you?"

"Not right after that. He told me more about him and why he'd been so drawn to me. My band, of all things. He felt like he was staying in touch with his creativity through my music," she laughed humorlessly. "He said he started to lose interest when I quit the band. And then he told me we'd be better off if we weren't together."

"How did that make you feel?" Edward asked.

Bella giggled.

Edward had to stifle a moan as she did. The sound of her laugh drove him crazy. "What's so funny?" he asked when he had recovered himself.

"You sound like Dr. Phil," she giggled again.

"I guess I did," Edward chuckled. "But seriously, how did you feel?"

"I felt a little lost. I'd depended on Jasper for so much for so long. I guess I was more afraid than anything. Afraid I'd drown without him. I cried a lot that night. Especially after he went to sleep on the couch.

"I guess I thought we'd be together forever. I couldn't picture my life without him and then suddenly I had to. And then there was Alice…"

"Sorry about that," Edward said guiltily.

"Don't be sorry. Alice and Jasper are perfect for each other."

Edward knew she meant it. Her voice was sincere and there was no trace of bitterness.

"We decided early Friday morning it would be easier if we just left rather than trying to explain everything while it was all still so raw, ya know?"

"Yeah. I get it."

"When we got back to our apartment I guess I thought maybe we'd work things out. But Jasper started packing almost immediately. And I knew there was no turning back.

"It brought up a lot of old feelings of worthlessness and things like that. But at the same time I realized Jasper was right. One day it would all be okay. I'd get past the break up and be able to look at things objectively without the hurt."

"Are you past it yet?"

"No. Not yet. It still hurts some when I think of him. It helps that he has Alice. But I don't know if I'd be ready to see them together yet. Alice is really good about not talking about him too much, God bless her. Jasper kept telling me we would each find true happiness without each other, that we were holding each other back. I know I was doing that to him, obviously. But I don't know if there is anything better out there for me. I feel like maybe just existing is all I'm meant to do. You know? Like true happiness doesn't exist for me."

"Don't say that, Bella." His voice came out more callous than he intended. "You deserve absolute bliss with all the hell you've been through. I know you'll find it," he told her, his voice softening.

"I don't know about that. But it does help having Emmett around."

"Your brother?"  
"Yeah. He got out and showed up the same day Jasper left for good."

"That's great."

"Yeah. I love having him around. Most of the time he's the same goofy big brother I remember. But sometimes there's something so different about him. There's a sadness… he's so dark sometimes. And then I remember I did that to him. It's my fault."

"Bella," Edward said tenderly, "it's not your fault. I'm sure Emmett would tell you the same thing. You didn't choose to put yourself in that position. And Emmett chose the way he handled it."

"It was still because of me that Emmett's life is ruined."

"He did what he had to do to protect you, Bella. I bet if he had to go back and do it again, he'd do the same thing all over again. I guarantee you're more important to him than anything in the whole world. Do not blame yourself."

"Thanks Edward."

"I'd have done the same thing in his position."

Bella blushed again.

"I'm really glad your brother is back though," Edward said trying to lighten the mood a bit. It did make him feel better that she wasn't completely alone after the break up.

"Me too." She smiled. She loved talking to Edward and she couldn't believe how comfortable she felt doing so. He had the ability to make her tell him things she'd been burying deep inside of herself.

As she pulled into Mike's driveway she hated that she had to end the conversation.

"Uh, Edward," she said.

"Yes?"

"I hate that I have to end this conversation so abruptly, but I am at my date's house now."

"Your date?" That's right. She had mentioned she was on her way to a date. Edward felt jealous that she was going out with someone who wasn't him. "Right," he said. "Your date. Well, have fun."

"Fingers crossed," Bella giggled. "I haven't had very good luck lately."

Her giggle almost made him come undone. "You'll have to tell me all about it sometime."

"Does that mean I'll get to talk to you again."

"Anytime, Bella. Anytime."

Bella couldn't help but smile. "Alright, then I'll talk to you later."

"I hope sooner rather than later," Edward practically growled.

It made Bella's face flush and her smile even wider.

"Bye Bella," Edward said.

"Bye Edward," she said breathlessly and then quickly pressed end before she changed her mind.

She had to sit and catch her breath before she could get out of the truck. She wished she'd told Mike to forget it. Then she wouldn't have had to hang up with Edward. She scrambled out of the cab as a new blush crept over her cheeks. She couldn't believe she was acting like this over a phone call from an almost complete stranger.  
She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she walked up to Mike's door. She knocked and waited.

A woman opened the door.

"Oh!" Bella was surprised. "I think I've got the wrong house."

"Are you looking for Mike?" The woman asked.

"Yes."

"Are you Bella?"  
"I am," Bella replied. She evidently didn't have the wrong house. Either that or Mike talked way too much to his neighbors.

"Mikey, your date is here," she called and then moved aside to let Bella in. "I'm Mrs. Newton, Mike's mother," the woman said extending her hand to Bella.

"It's nice to meet you," Bella said, shaking her hand as Mike came down the stairs.

"Moooom," Mike whined grabbing Bella's hand and dragging her back up the stairs.

Seriously how old was Mike? She'd thought he told her he was 22. Judging by the way he was acting she'd say he was 15.

"Let's go to my room, Bella."

"Um…" she said. She didn't really have much of a choice. Mike had a death grip on her hand.

He let go once they were inside his room with the door shut. Bella surveyed her surroundings. There were posters of half naked girls plaster on the walls. How classy. The bed was unmade and there were CDs and videogames covering every surface. Not to mention the dirty clothes piled on the bed and on the floor.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Mike asked.

Was he serious? They were staying here for their date. Oh, heaven help her, she'd been wrong. He was acting like a 13-year-old boy.

"Um…sure, I guess," she said not wanting to be rude.

Mike put a movie into his DVD player and threw some more dirty clothes from the bed to the floor and then sat down. He patted the bed next to him.

Bella hesitated. This was ridiculous. She'd take Taco Bell and comic books any day over this. But she wasn't a rude person, so she sat down on the bed.

Mike repeatedly tried to put his arm around her and she repeatedly tried to shake him off. She didn't want to give him any ideas.

Halfway through the stupid movie about ninjas or whatever it was Bella's curiosity got the best of her and she asked, "Mike, why are we staying here?" She couldn't help it. This had to be the worst date she'd been on yet.

"I'm grounded," he said.

Bella started laughing.

"Why is that funny?" He asked completely serious.

Bella stopped laughing. "You've got to be kidding me?" She studied his face. He was indeed serious. "Oh, my" she mumbled under her breath.

Mike was staring at her incredulously as if she'd done something wrong.

"What?" she snapped at him, no longer in the mood to be polite.

"I think you need to leave," Mike said.

"What? You're shitting me, right?" Bella asked as she stood.

"No. I fought to be able to keep this date and you are being completely rude. Isabella Swan, you are a terrible date," he declared.

"_I'm _a terrible date!" she practically shouted at him. "You're the one who made me drive all the way to your parents house to watch a stupid movie in your dirty bedroom! Because you are grounded! At 22! You, Mike Newton, are not only a terrible date, but you're also a pathetic loser!" she shouted at him before hurrying from his room, out of the house and to the safety of her truck.

She had been meaner than she should have been, but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. He'd had the nerve to call her a terrible date!

Who the hell gets grounded at 22? And then invites a date over, no less? Bella started laughing. She should write a book.

She drove home knowing Emmett would be waiting for her and he'd want to hear all about her latest loser date. She decided she wasn't' going to tell him about the phone call from Edward. That she wanted to keep to herself for a while longer.

Just thinking about it made her smile again and she couldn't wipe it off her face. She couldn't believe the power of a phone call. And she wasn't sure why she had such a reaction to just the sound of Edward's voice.

And so, she was smiling like an idiot when she entered the apartment.

"Whoa, Bells," Emmett said from his place on the couch, "your date was that good?"

Oops! Now what could she say. No, it was horrid. How would she explain the smile? She knew she couldn't lie. She was a terrible liar.

"Bella? Hello! Was it really that good?" Emmett asked pulling her back into the moment.

"What?"

"Your date must have gone well if you're smiling like that," Emmett said.

Bella decided to skirt around the smile issue. "No, it was awful. He was grounded.

"He what?"

Bella relayed the whole story to Emmett who laughed loudly the entire time. She was glad he was distracted from why she came in smiling.

"Oh, Bella," he said wiping at his eyes, "you should write a book. You have the worst dates."

"I thought the same thing," Bella giggled.

"So, why were you smiling so big when you came in?"

Crap. So he wasn't distracted for long.

"I was… just thinking… about all the bad dates," she stuttered.

"Uh-huh," Emmett said.

He clearly didn't believe her, but thank God Emmett wasn't the type to pry.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" Bella asked.

"Well, I know of this nice little Mexican place…" Emmett started.

"Shut up!" Bella dissolved in laughter and playfully punched Emmett's shoulder.

"Maybe we could just watch a movie," Emmett said trying to keep a straight face.

"Stop it!" Bella said trying to regain her composure as she settled onto the couch. "I didn't tell you those stories so you could make fun of me," she feigned annoyance.

"What are big brothers for?" he shrugged and then ruffled her hair.

The two of them decided to spend the rest of the night watching a Lakers game. Well, Emmett watched the game. Bella thought about Edward. She wondered if he really meant what he said about her being able to talk to him anytime. She looked at the clock. It was too late to call him now. It was 11:30 PM in California. That would make it 2:30 AM in South Carolina. She couldn't call him now. He'd probably be sleeping. So instead, she'd have to settle for thinking about their conversation.

Bella said good night to Emmett and went to her bedroom where she replayed the entire conversation in her head.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face. For the first time in months she didn't cry herself to sleep. It was a welcome change.

* * *

_A/N: I think I may be able to squeeze one more chapter in this week. Let me know what you guys are thinking. _

_I'm thinking that this will mainly be Bella and Edward the rest of the way out. That could change though. Let me know what you guys want to see. More Alice and Jasper? Emmett? Rosalie? _

_Talk to me. _


	23. Pretty Handsome Awkward

_A/N: As promised here is the next chapter. _

* * *

Edward hadn't wanted to hang up with Bella. He had wanted to talk to her forever. He loved the sound of her voice. He wished he'd been able to see her face when she laughed. And he was glad she hadn't been upset that he called her, that she liked talking to him too.

And then she'd reminded him she had a date. That brought him crashing back to reality. Of course she'd been dating since she and Jasper broke up. Bella was gorgeous. She probably had to fight the guys off with a stick. She probably hadn't thought about him at all.

Edward, on the other hand hadn't stopped thinking about her. He'd decided against taking Rosalie's advice of talking to Jasper about it. He was afraid Jasper would get med and he didn't want that.

So he'd tried to go back to normal by calling Lauren. He'd spend quite a bit of time with Lauren before Bella. He couldn't really stand her, but she didn't mind that he only called her for sex like most girls did. Most girls he had to take out first. But not Lauren.

He'd met with her and he just couldn't do it anymore. He'd thought of Bella the whole time and felt guilty. So instead, he'd spent the last few months carefully avoiding all of the girls he used to have so much fun with.

And now he was content to sit and replay his and Bella's conversation over in his head. He couldn't contain his ear to ear grin as he thought about the fact that she actually wanted to talk to him again.

"What the fuck are you smiling about?" Rose asked coming into the room.

"Nothing," Edward denied a little too quickly.

Rosalie arched on perfect eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Really. Now leave me alone," Edward said getting up to leave the room.

"I swear you must be bi-polar Edward. This morning you were acting like someone killed your puppy. Tonight you're smiling like you won the fucking lottery. What's going…WAIT! You talked to Jasper didn't you."

"Uh-uh."

"You talked to Bella!" She pretty much shouted at him.

How she figured that out he'd never know. He was going to deny it, but the blush that crept up his neck and colored his cheeks gave him away.

"Oh! My! God! What did she say? What did you say?"

"Rose, calm down. We just talked about the break-up."

"You talked about _her _break up with _your_ brother? Bad move, Edward."

"Why?"

"Quickest way to the friend only zone."

"Whatever," Edward said. If Bella only wanted him in the friend only zone, he'd take it. Anything to be able to hear her voice all the time. But he'd never tell Rose that. "I'm going to bed."

"God, Edward. Don't get so pissy. I'm just trying to help you."

"Thanks, Rose, but I'll ask for your help when I need it."  
"Fine, suit yourself. You fuck up your chances with Bella anyway you want to," Rose said sitting on the couch and flipping on a basketball game. "You sure you don't want to watch the Lakers game with me?" she called after him.

"I hate the Lakers. I'm a Knicks fan."

"Ha! Only a New Yorker would admit that!" she snorted.

"Very nice, Rose. So lady like."

"Fuck you."  
"You wish."

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Rose."

Edward went to his bedroom and laid down. He looked at his alarm clock. It was 11:30pm. He did the math. It would be 8:30pm in California. Bella was probably still on her date. He wanted to call her again. He thought about calling just to hear her voicemail, but that would be creepy. So instead he closed his eyes.

Edward hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he was woken by music.

"_Are you okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward. Do you feel okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward."_

It took him a moment to realize the music was coming from his cell phone. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock. It was 3am. Who the hell was calling him this late? Or this early?

"_Are you okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward. Do you feel okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward."_

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. Maybe there was an emergency. He stumbled out of bed trying to locate his phone.

"_Are you okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward. Do you feel okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward."_

"I'm coming. Hold on!"

"Edward! Answer your fucking phone before I come in there and shove it up your ass!" Rosalie yelled from the next room.

"_Are you okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward. Do you feel okay? You look pretty low. Very handsome awkward."_

"Ugh! I'm trying," he yelled back. Finally he located the phone in his jeans pocket on the floor. He flipped it open just in time for the caller to hang up. "Damn it," he growled.

He looked at the caller ID to see who had called and his heart nearly stopped. It had been Bella. He debated for a minute whether or not to call her back. He decided since she was obviously already awake he'd call her. He didn't want to wait until later to hear her voice again.

"Hello," Bella answered.

"Hello," Edward said. His voice was low and scratchy with sleep, but it was still the sexiest voice Bella had ever heard.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered. She had woken up soon after she'd fallen asleep and she couldn't stop thinking about hearing his voice again. She'd called just to hear his voice mail. She had expected him to call back and she really hadn't meant to wake him.

"It's alright," Edward told her. "I missed hearing your voice anyway."

Bella felt her cheeks heat and she knew she'd never be able to fall asleep again tonight now. Even if she knew Edward probably wasn't thinking clearly since he just woke up.

"I…uh… I don't know why I called you," she said. "I just couldn't sleep."

"So you thought you'd wake me?" he teased.

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm just kidding. I really don't mind. How was your date?"

"It was terrible." She proceeded to tell him all about her date with Mike.

"He actually kicked you out?"

"Yeah. It was probably the worst date I've been on. And sadly I have a lot of experience with bad dates."

"Yeah. You mentioned that earlier. You told me you'd tell me about them."

"You actually want to hear?"

"Sure why not?" Edward thought about what Rosalie said about the friend zone and he could see her point. He was talking to Bella like he was one of her girlfriends. But he couldn't help it. He wanted to know every detail of her life.

Bella told him all of her dating horror stories from the past month.

"Damn, Bella. You have terrible taste in me," Edward teased.

"Hey, I'm kinda new to this whole dating thing," she said. "And Seth wasn't so bad. We had a pretty good time. He was just too young."

"How old was he?"  
"Eighteen."

"Bella, you're only 21. That's not that big of a difference."

"Not in years. But in maturity levels."

"So would you never date someone younger than you?"

"I wouldn't say never…" Bella said. "I'd say it's unlikely though.

"Oh," Edward felt crushed. There was a little sliver of hope though. She didn't say never.

"So, what about you? Do you have any dating horror stories," Bella asked. She was embarrassed because she had been monopolizing most of the conversation.

"No, not really," Edward said.

"Really? Nothing?"

"Um… nope. I…I'm not really the dating type."

"Oh, right. I remember you telling me that," she said softly.

"I just haven't found someone worth taking on a real date," he told her, hoping that he didn't sound like a complete slut. It was true though. Usually he took girls to a movie or out for pizza. He didn't take them on real dates and he didn't bother getting to really know them.

"What do you mean a real date?" Bella asked.

"Well, I don't really consider going to the movies a date because the purpose of a date is spending time with someone and getting to know them. You can't do that in a dark theater."

"That's true," Bella agreed. "So what do you consider a real date?"

Edward hesitated. He didn't want her to think he was sappy or cliché.

"Edward?" Bella softly prodded.

"I…well, I'd pick her up and we'd go for a drive. If the weather was nice we'd have a twilight picnic at the beach or the park depending what state the date was taking place in. It be causal, but intimate because that's how you best get to know someone. In an atmosphere that is comfortable. And then I suppose we'd talk and look up at the stars."

"Oh, Edward," Bella sighed.

"Is that cheesy?"

"No. It's really romantic."

Edward chuckled. "I thought it sounded kinda sappy and cliché."

"I guess I like sappy and cliché," Bella said softly.

"That's a change."

"A change from what?"

"My roommate, Rosalie. She would rip me apart if I ever told her that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, Rose is… different. She's really not your normal girl."

Bella wondered if he and Rosalie had ever had any type of relationship.

"Bella? You're quiet all of a sudden," Edward said.

"I was just wondering if… well… you and your roommate have…" she trailed off.

"No," Edward said firmly. The last thing he wanted was for Bella to think he and Rose slept together. "I love Rose, but like a sister. A very intimidating sister. Really Rose is just like one of the guys. She loves sports and classic cars. She's the best mechanic I've ever met and she's got a mouth that would make a sailor blush."

Bella laughed at his description. She did sound like one of the guys and in Bella's imagination she now looked like one of the guys as well. And that made her feel better.

"She's a good woman though. It just takes a special man to handle her," Edward chuckled. "So, what about you Bella? What's your idea of a perfect date?" he asked.

Images of her and Edward sitting on a checkered blanket in the sand, staring up at the sky flashed through her head. She blushed at the thought. Edward would never be interested in her that way. They were just friends.

"Um… I don't know," she said.

"Oh, come on. That's copping out."

"No, it's not. I really, really have no idea. Especially since you've described your ideal date. And well, that just sounds wonderful to me."

"Yeah," he agreed. "It does sound wonderful." And his imagination drifted to what it would be like to lay with Bella in the grass and to hold her hand. She'd be looking up at the stars, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Edward heard Bella yawn and looked at the clock. It was 5:30am! They'd been on the phone for two and a half hours. That meant it was 2:30 in the morning in California. Bella hadn't slept yet. She was probably exhausted.

"You're tired," he said.

"A little," Bella admitted. "I can't believe we've been on the phone for two and a half hours."

"Me either. I should probably let you get some sleep."

"Yeah," she said reluctantly.

"Can I call you later?" Edward asked. He was suddenly anxious about not hearing her voice again.

"I'd like that," Bella said.

"How is eight?"

"Your time or mine?"

"Yours," He said. "I want your voice to be the last I hear before I go to bed."

Bella's whole body flushed as he said it.

Edward exhaled heavily. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. And judging by the silence on Bella's end, he'd made her uncomfortable.

"Um so eight o clock then?" he asked running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah," Bella agreed.

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward." Bella hung up the phone and let out a squeal. She had to take a deep breath to calm herself. She shouldn't feel this way. Edward was her ex-boyfriend's brother. It would be wrong of her to feel something for him.

Wouldn't it.

It didn't matter. Edward was a player. He said smooth things like that all the time. It didn't mean anything. But telling herself that didn't slow her heart rate any.

Bella had never felt this way before. Not even with Jasper and it scared the hell out of her.

She leaned back against her pillows. She had to get some sleep. She had classes in the morning. But she was afraid she was already dreaming.

That was completely possible. Why else would Edward be okay with her waking him up in the middle of the night? And only her imagination could have dreamed up the sweet things he'd said and the ideal date he'd described.

So that was it. She was dreaming. It was odd that she was aware of the fact, but dreams were weird like that sometimes.

Well, at any rate, it was the best dream she'd had in a long time.

* * *

_A/N: Edward's ringtone is "Pretty Handsome Awkward" by The Used. Great song.  
Check out_

_How to Save a Life by unholy_obsession. _

_Amazing. _


	24. Moving Too Fast

_A/N: Sorry for the wait. Its been done. I've just been busy and lazy. Enjoy. _

* * *

Bella reluctantly opened her eyes when her alarm clock went off in the morning. That was the best dream she'd had in as long as she could remember. She stumbled sleepily from her bedroom to the kitchen where Emmett was already sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"Morning," she mumbled rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Morning, lil sis," Emmett said grinning mischievously.

Bella scrunched her brow in confusion. "What?" she asked.

"You were up awful late last night," was all he said.

"Emmett, I went to bed before you did," Bella replied trying to play it cool.

"Huh-uh, sure. Who were you on the phone to?"

Bella blushed furiously. "No one," she stammered, as if the blush hadn't already given her away. "I must have been talking in my sleep."

"Bella, I heard your depressing ring tone," Emmett told her.

This caused Bella to blush an even deeper red as she realized last night was probably not a dream after all. "Excuse me," she said and retreated quickly to her bedroom. She found her cell phone on her bedside table and picked it up. Sure enough, there was Edward's phone number on the screen of received calls. Last night had really happened. She stood frozen for several minutes.

It wasn't until Emmett poked his head in to see if she was okay that she shook herself out of the shock.

"I'm fine, Emmett."

"So, who were you talking to so late?"

"Alice," she lied as casually as she was able.

Emmett drew his eyebrows together and studied his sister. Then he shrugged. "Whatever you say, Bells."

He turned to leave the room. Before he did he glanced over his shoulder at her and said, "Whoever it is, just be careful."

Bella was again, instantly flushed. Emmett was unbelievable perceptive sometimes. It always surprised her. Most of the time he'd act like he didn't pay attention. But the truth was, Emmett didn't miss much.

Bella grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom for a shower. She had classes to go to today. And then work afterwards. And then Edward would be calling her.

Edward would be calling her.

She'd forgotten that detail. She tried to remember if it was her idea or his….

It was definitely his. Bella felt her face getting hot as she thought about the things he'd said to her. Oh, God. It was not healthy to get this worked up over a phone call.

She got into the shower hoping it would calm her down. She had to concentrate on her classes. She only had a few weeks left before the semester was over. She couldn't afford to focus on anything but school and work.

And Emmett was right. She did need to be careful. She barely knew Edward and already she was this absorbed by him. If she let herself fall any deeper, he could absolutely destroy her. And she knew there was no way she'd be able to survive another heartbreak.

She got out of the shower, pulled her wet hair into a messy bun, put her clothes on and then headed to class. She was determined not to close enough to Edward for him to break her heart.

******

Edward could not concentrate. He kept staring at the clock, willing it to go faster. All he wanted to do was hear Bella's voice. It occurred to him how strange that was. And how if she knew that was all he'd though about the last day and a half, she'd probably never answer the phone to him again.

He loved when she was talking and every now and then her cute southern accent would come through. It probably had something to do with her brother being with her that she was more comfortable using it. It was just so adorable. He smiled to himself thinking about it.

"Edward."

Rosalie's voice interrupted his thoughts. He glared at her.

"Put the claws back in kitty. I have a proposal."

"A proposal?"

"Yes. I was going to suggest that once classes were over, you and I should take a trip to my family's beach house in Malibu. But if you're gonna be a dick…"  
"Wait! You're family has a beach house in Malibu?"

"Yeah. And I though maybe you and I could go and you could possibly meet up with your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, Rose. She's not even interested in me that way."

"Yeah, cause a girl who's not interested in you always calls at three in the morning."

Edward gave her a pointed look.

"Look, if you don't want to go just say so. You don't need to be a fucking baby about it."

"Of course I want to go," Edward told her trying to push his irritation aside. Rosalie was trying to do a nice thing for him. It was probably difficult for her to be nice. He laughed out loud at that.

Rose chose to ignore him. "So, it's settled then," she said over his laughter. "Once we're both done with classes we'll head out to California for some sun and some ass."

"Rose!" Edward stopped laughing to scold her.

Rosalie shrugged. "I knew that would shut you up," she told him before leaving the room.

Edward shook his head and then began to wonder if he should tell Bella he was coming to California or if he should wait and surprise her.

*****

Jasper would be back with Katie any minute, so Alice was rushing to get dinner done. She knew Katie would be hungry and Jasper would be starving.

It was their typical Friday night routine. In December Alice had transferred from Sarasota to New York and gotten an apartment near campus.

She had class until six on Friday. She'd get home around 6:30pm and start dinner while waiting for Jasper and Katie to come over. Now that they were dating, Jasper spent a lot of time at her place. And that included the entire weekend when Jasper had Katie.

That had been his and Jane's agreement. Kate would stay with Jane during the week , although Jasper was allowed to visit anytime. And on weekends Kate would stay with Jasper. And Alice made sure it was okay that she was in the picture and let Jane know her door was always open for her.

Once Jasper and Kate arrived, the three of them would eat dinner and watch a movie of Katie's choice.

They'd done it every Friday since she and Jasper started dating 2 months ago. It was like she had an instant family on the weekends. It didn't bother Alice, though. She loved Jasper. Yes, love him already. The truth of the matter was that she had loved him before she met him. Just like the Savage Garden song. And Alice adored Kate. She was so cute and so well behaved. And they always had a lot of fun together. Katie made Alice excited to have kids.

She heard the door open and then Jasper called, "Honey, we're home."

Alice smiled and headed to the door to greet them. Her smile grew wider, as it always did, when she saw Jasper. He was the most gorgeous man alive with his shaggy blonde hair and ice blue eyes.

She crossed the room to him and stood on her tip toes with her face tilted up. Jasper bent down and closed the distance between their lips.

"Eew!" Katie shrieked through giggles, as was custom.

"Hi, Katie," Alice greeted her pulling back from Jasper. "What's tonight's movie?"

"Barbie and the Magic Pesagus," Katie said giving the DVD in her hands to Alice.

"Barbie and the Magic Pegasus. I haven't seen this one," Alice told her, taking her hand. "Do you want to help me finish dinner?"

"Yes!" Katie shouted.

"Alright, come on then," Alice led Katie to the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder at Jasper who was standing there smiling at them. She smiled back.

It was hard to imagine they'd only been dating two months. Everything felt so right. She knew she was going to spend the rest of her life with Jasper. And she knew it would be amazing. The two of them had begun talking about Jasper moving in with her. The both wanted it, it felt right. But they were worried that their families and Bella would think it was too soon. So they'd been weighing all the pros and cons. For now, they were sticking with their current arrangement.

Jasper spent most of his time at her place anyway. Well, between her school and his job at the art gallery. Alice really enjoyed their life together so far. And that's why she was ready to take the next step.

After Kate was asleep on the couch, Alice decided it was the best time to bring it up.

"Jazzy, I've been thinking," she started and then paused waiting for his response.

"Not about Bella again, I hope," Jasper said.

"No, not about Bella. About meeting my family."

Jasper froze. Meeting Alice's family was a big deal. He wasn't one hundred percent sure he was ready for that. He knew he loved Alice and that he wanted to be with her. But he was afraid they were moving too fast. He'd only just gotten out of a serious long term relationship two months ago. And now he was already in another serious relationship. They were discussing moving in together and they played house on the weekend. Now she wanted him to meet her family. Plus what if they hated him. Would that make Alice change her mind about him?

"They'll love you, Jasper," Alice said squeezing his arm reassuringly. "And besides, we won't be staying with them. I figured we could make a vacation out of it. We could bring along Bella and your brother."

"Alice you aren't still trying to hook them up, are you?"

"No, of course not," Alice denied. "I just figure, Edward is your best friend and Bella has become my best friend. I thought it would be nice of us to bring them along. And if they wanted to bring someone else, they'd be welcome to do that too."

Jasper squeezed his eyes shut and then said, "Okay, sure, Ali. We can do that. When do you suggest?"

"After I get done with classes. I can't wait for you to meet my grandparents!"

The thought made his stomach turn just a little.

After that, the two of them settled into each other. Alice watched Jasper sleep and decided she'd call Bella to invite her soon. She wouldn't tell Jasper, but of course she was still trying to hook her up with Edward. They were perfect for each other. They just needed a little guidance to realize it.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so let me know what you think._


	25. Falling For You

_A/N: Just need to address something from the last chapter quickly. It would be strange for Alice to invite Bella to meet her family. She didn't do that though. She just invited Bella to Miami, where her family is from. She has no intention of having Bella present when Jasper meets her family for the first time. That's why she said they wouldn't be staying with her family. That would be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. Hope that clears everything up for everyone. _

_Anyway, 2 chapters in one day! Hope you enjoy._

_

* * *

_

_I don't know but_

_I think I maybe_

_Fallin' for you_

_Dropping so quickly_

_Maybe I should_

_Keep this to myself_

_Waiting 'til I_

_Know you better_

_I am trying_

_Not to tell you_

_But I want to_

_I'm scared of what you'll say_

_So I'm hiding what I'm feeling_

_But I'm tired of_

_Holding this inside my head_

_I've been spending all my time_

_Just thinking about ya_

_I don't know what to do_

I think I'm fallin for you

_-Fallin For You by Colbie Calliat-_

Bella and Edward had talked every night on the phone for the last month. He'd told her that he was coming to California after his classes ended. He said he'd like to visit her if she was okay with that. She had tried not to sound too excited. It stung a little when he mentioned he'd be bringing Rosalie. But Bella shook it off. She and Edward were only friends, no matter how badly she wished it were more.

Alice had also invited her to go to Miami the same week Edward was coming. She'd made up an excuse about a family friend coming for a visit.

Alice told her that she could reschedule the trip and Bella had told her it wasn't necessary. But a week later, Alice called saying someone else was unable to make it that week, so she was rescheduling for the week after.

So, first a week with Edward and then a week with Jasper and Alice. Bella wasn't sure if she'd survive. But she was excited about seeing Alice and Edward again. In preparation for Edward's visit Bella cleaned her apartment from top to bottom.

"Expecting company, Bells?" Emmett asked.

"No," Bella lied.

"Why do you always lie to me?" he asked surprising Bella.

As she looked at him, completely shocked, Bella felt guilty. Emmett didn't deserve to be lied to. He'd given up his life for hers and she was repaying him by lying to him. She was awful. She felt a tear slide down her cheek.

"Aw, Bells, don't cry," Emmett said as he put his arms around his sister.

"Emmett, I'm sorry," she cried. "It's just so embarrassing."

Emmett pulled Bella to the couch and then sat down. "You know I'm always here for you, right?"

"Of course I know that," Bella said wiping her eyes. "How could I not know that? You went to jail for me. You screwed up your whole life for me."

"You think I screwed up my life?"

Bella nodded. "You were gonna be a teacher."

"Bella," Emmett said slowly, "that means nothing to me as long as you are okay. Do you know how guilty I feel?" He looked intently at her.

She shook her head. "Why?" she whispered.

"While I was away, my little sister was at home suffering. I wasn't there to protect you."

Bella looked up, surprised to see Emmett's eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "Don't feel guilty, Emmett," she said softly, taking his hand. "You didn't know."

"I don't regret what I did, Bella. I'd do it again. The only thing I regret is that I didn't do it as soon as I found out what was going on." He pulled Bella to his chest. "Don't you ever think you screwed up my life. I made my decision. I was fully aware of what I was doing and I knew the consequences."

Bella was sobbing into her brother's shirt. She was so lucky to have him.

Emmett squeezed her tight and rubbed soothing circles on her back. "We're okay, Bella," he said tenderly. "You're okay. Please don't be afraid to come to me and talk to me about anything you need to talk about."

Bella looked up at him and said, "I love you, Em."

"I love you too kid and don't you forget it," he replied ruffling her hair.

And just like that the tension and seriousness was gone from the room.

"So, who's coming over?" Emmett asked returning to their topic from before.

"Edward," Bella mumbled.

"What? Who's Edward?"

"A friend," she said evasively.

"Bellllaaaa," Emmett dragged out her name.

"Fine!" Bella said exasperated. "Edward is Jasper's brother."

"Why is he coming here? Did Jasper leave something behind?"

"Noooo…."

"You're seeing Jasper's brother!"

"No! We're just friends."

"Does Jasper know?"

"No. I don't know. Why does that matter?"

"Bella, you can't date your ex-boyfriend's brother."

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. And we're not dating!"  
"Is he the one you've been on the phone to every night?"  
Bella nodded, "But just so you know, Jasper was the one who gave him my phone number and told him to call me."

"Yeah, did Edward tell you that?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, he's lying to you so you'll think Jasper's okay with the whole situation. It's against the rules to date your brother's ex. This Edward is a scumbag for breaking those."

"Edward is not a scumbag!" Bella shouted at her brother. "And what rules? There are no rules."

"There are rules, Bella."

"It doesn't matter because we're not dating. We're just friends and there are no rules about being friends," Bella said as she left the room.

She knew Emmett was right. She and Edward weren't dating, but the feelings she was having were wrong. She felt like she was falling for Edward.

When they talked on the phone it was as if the rest of the world ceased to exist. She was absorbed in every word he said, every inflection, every breath. There was nobody but him and her. And she was happy. Happier than she'd been in a long time.

In fact, when she was on the phone to Edward she was the happiest she'd been since before her father died.

It was strange to her how she woke up every morning looking forward to his phone call. And he called at eight on the dot every night. Then the two of them would stay on the phone for hours talking about everything and anything. The only thing she didn't discuss with Edward was the way she was feeling about him. She was afraid if she told him how she felt he wouldn't want to talk to her anymore.

But Bella couldn't get Edward off her mind. She seriously thought about him 24 hours a day. Her nightmares were a thing of the past. She fell asleep each night dreaming of Edward.

And now he was coming to visit. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to act normal around him when all she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and have him hold her forever.

But once again, she knew that was wrong and that she shouldn't fell that way. Bella sighed. What was she going to do with herself?

******

"So, you'll be able to go the third week in June then?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. Me and Rosalie are going to her parent's beach house the week before," Edward answered, purposefully leaving out that it was in California.

"Really? Your roommate Rosalie?"

"Yes." Edward realized Jasper thought he and Rose were together, but he didn't really care. If that was what Jasper wanted to think, he'd let him think it. "You don't mind if I bring her with me do you?"

"No, that's fine," Jasper said. "Alice said you could bring a guest.

"So, you're meeting Alice's family. Already."

"Well, we've been dating for four months now, so really its not that soon."

"I guess not. So, it's just gonna be you two and me and Rose?"

"Um, no. Bella is coming and I think she'd bringing someone."

Edward almost choked. "Bella's coming?"

"Yeah. That's why we decided to postpone. Because both of you are busy the week we originally planned on going."

"Really?" Edward asked playing it cool. He knew what Bella's plans were.

"Yeah."

"So, you think Bella will be okay seeing you and Alice together?"

"I don't know. I'm a little worried about it, to tell you the truth. I don't want to anything that would hurt Bella. I'm afraid it's too soon. But Alice insists that it will be okay."

"Have you talked to Bella about it?" Edward asked, knowing full well that he hadn't.

"No. I haven't talked to her since the day I left."

"Didn't you say you wanted to stay friends with her?" Edward didn't know where he was going with this. Why did it matter to him if Jasper and Bella talked?

"I did. But… I guess I'm a little scared."

"Of what?" It was odd to hear Jasper admit that.

"Well… I guess I'm afraid, I don't mean this to sound egotistical, that she is still hurting. That maybe I didn't go about it the right way. But then, I'm also afraid that…well, that's she'd moved on. I know that sounds bad, but a part of me feels like it would really, really hurt to see her happy with someone new."

Edward was speechless. Was Jasper admitting he was still in love with Bella? Because that was how it sounded to him.

"I know it sounds awful, Edward. I want her to be happy. I really, really do. But a part of me wonders if maybe I've made a mistake."

Edward took a deep breath, "Are you saying you're still in love with Bella?"

Jasper didn't answer right away. Was he saying that? Maybe. Thinking about Bella with someone else nearly killed him. "Yes…no…I don't know," he finally answered.

"Well, you better figure it out," Edward snapped.

Jasper was confused why Edward would sound so angry. "You alright, man?"

"You need to stop being such an ass, Jasper. And you need to make up you mind. Either choose Alice or choose Bella, but it's not fair to either of them to be with one and want the other!" Edward shouted into the phone.

Jasper realized Edward had a point even if he didn't understand why he was getting so pissy about it. "I know you're right Edward."

"Fuck, Jasper. Alice is taking you to meet her family. You need to decide now. Do you love Alice?"

"Yes," he didn't have to think about it. He knew he did.

"Can you see your life without her?"

"No, of course not."

"Then you should be with Alice."

"Is it really that easy?" Because it didn't feel that easy.

"I'd say so," Edward said.

"What about how I feel about Bella?"

"Nostalgia."

"IS that so?"

"Yep. You love what you had with her at one time. But admit it, Jasper, your relationship with her had been over a while by the time you go to Mom and Dad's."

Jasper thought about that. And it seemed once again, Edward was right. But it still didn't change the nagging feeling he had about Bella.

"I'm sure a part of you will always love Bella because of what you had, but you're not in love with her anymore."

"No, I'm not. You're right," Jasper agreed just to stop this conversation he didn't want to have anymore.

"I know," Edward said. "Shit, it's almost eleven. I've gotta go."

"You gotta date or something?"

"Yeah something like that," Edward said. "Talk to ya soon."

"Yeah, alright. Bye."

Edward hung up the phone and immediately dialed Bella for their nightly conversation.

* * *

_A/N: Alright, let me know what's going through your head. Could be awhile for the next chapter. Writer's block. _


	26. Untouched

_A/N: I wanted to start off by thanking emmiecullen0195 for her wonderful suggestions. Hopefully you'll like what I've come up with so far._

_And I sincerely hope that this chapter isn't too cheesy. Enjoy._

* * *

_I can't lie lie lie lie lie lie_

_I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want_

_Don't stop_

_Give me give me give me what you got got_

_Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more_

_Don't even talk about the consequence_

_Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_

_And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think_

_Cause you're the only one who's on my mind_

_I'll never ever let you leave me_

_I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)_

_I feel so untouched_

_And I want you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much somehow_

_I can't forget you_

_Been going crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched_

_And I need you so much_

_See you, breathe you, I want to be you_

_Alalalala alalalala_

_You can take take take take take time time_

_To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life_

_Give me give me give me all of you you_

_Don't be scared_

_I'll see you through the loneliness of one more more more_

_Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right_

_'Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around_

_To answer all the questions left behind_

_And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today_

_You've still got me to hold you up up_

_And I will never let you down (down)_

_I feel so untouched_

_And I want you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much somehow_

_I can't forget you_

_Been going crazy from the moment I met you_

_-Untouched by The Veronicas-_

Bella stood in the middle of the living room. Edward had called to say that he would be at her place soon and she had no idea what to do with herself. She looked around for something that needed straightening, but everything was straight. In fact the whole apartment was spic and span. Then Bella realized it would look as if she had cleaned just for Edward's visit. Of course she had, but the apartment didn't even look lived in.

"Emmett!" she called.

"What's up lil sis?" Emmett asked appearing in the doorway from the kitchen.

"Mess something up!" she shouted at him.

"What?" Emmett began laughing.

"Emmett! Don't laugh at me! Oh my God! How's my hair?"

"Bella, will you calm down. Your hair is fine, the apartment is fine…"  
Bella cut him off, "Fine?"

"Yes, fine."

"Just fine?"

"Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Your hair is amazing. You look beautiful. Man you're freaking out this much over just a "friend"". Emmett made quotations with his fingers around the word friend.

Bella smacked him in the chest. "Knock it off!"

Just then the doorbell rang and Emmett started to make his way to the door.

"What are you doing?" Bella said in a loud whisper.

"Answering the door," Emmett rolled his eyes.

"No! Go somewhere else."

He shook his head and began to leave the room.

"No, wait. Answer the door."

"Damn it, Bella. Make up your mind."

She gave him a dirty look and then headed for the door. Emmett sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV.

Bella opened the door to see Edward standing there dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. She was suddenly even more nervous.

"Bella!" Edward greeted her and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. He smelled wonderful and all of Bella's nerves melted away.

Edward knew it was very forward of him, but he'd been dreaming of touching her for the past six months. And with her standing in front of him in that little tank top and denim skirt, he couldn't resist.

He'd heard Bella gasp and he was about to let her go when he felt her arms snake around his waist and she pressed her body closer to his.

They stood like that until Rosalie's snarky voice interrupted them, "Break it the fuck up."

Bella quickly pulled away from Edward, the blush spreading quickly, coloring her cheeks. She looked up at Rosalie and was stunned. She was far more beautiful than anyone she ever seen including Tanya _and _Edward. Bella understood in that instant that she was not good enough for Edward. He was in another league. If girls like Tanya were just semi-serious flings and girls like Rosalie were just one of the guys, Bella couldn't possibly measure up.

She didn't know what his fascination with her was, but she figured it wouldn't last long. She stepped back and said, "Come in," looking at her feet.

Bella's whole demeanor changed after Rosalie interrupted them. He hadn't missed the change. Maybe it was embarrassment for the prolonged embrace. Whatever it was, now she seemed extremely shy and withdrawn.

Edward entered the apartment and looked around. He saw a huge guy sitting on the couch watching TV. Well, not so much watching TV anymore, but watching Rosalie. He assumed the man was Emmett and he was slightly intimidated. Emmett could probably snap him in half with one hand. Luckily at the moment he was preoccupied with Rose and now he was glad that she'd insisted on making the drive from Malibu to LA with him.

"Make yourself comfortable," Bella said. She had noticed Emmett staring at Rose too. Not that she could blame him. "Does anyone want something to drink?" she asked as Edward sat down on the recliner and Rose sat on the opposite end of the couch from Edward.

"If you're going into the kitchen Bells, bring me a beer," Emmett said.

Bella shot him a look that he completely missed because he was still busy staring Rosalie down.

"Yeah, I'll take a beer too," Rose said.

Bella watched as Rosalie turned toward Emmett. "What the fuck are you staring at you fucking Neanderthal? Why don't you just take a picture and fuck off."

Emmett turned red and Edward gasped. "Rose!" he scolded.

But then the weirdest thing happened. Emmett started laughing. And even more strange, Rosalie began to giggle.

"I think…" Emmett said between laughs, "I'm in love." And then he scooted closer to Rosalie.

Edward was expecting Rosalie to reach out and punch him, but instead she scooted closer to Emmett and then leaned back on the couch and said "Did you catch any of the Angels game last night?" as if nothing strange had happened.

And then Rosalie and Emmett began talking about everything from sports to cars, completely in their own world.

Bella had gone to the kitchen to get them beers and then she and Edward decided to take a walk to give Rose and Emmett some time alone.

"So, that was odd," Edward said.

"Yeah, what was that?" Bella shook her head and giggled.

"I told you, Rosalie is like one of the guys."

"And apparently the woman of men's dreams," Bella said.

"Not every man," Edward said, gently nudging her with his elbow.

"Oh, come on. You can't possibly tell me that all men don't want a woman who looks like a goddess, but drinks beer and talks sports and cars like an expert."

"A lot of men are intimidated by a woman like Rose. And then there are men who are looking for a softer more vulnerable woman, someone who isn't so much like them."

"Which one are you, Edward?"

"Well, I'm not intimidated by Rose. I live with her so I get to see her at her worst," he laughed.

Bella forced out a laugh, but she doubted there was ever a moment when Rosalie didn't look perfect.

"Come on, Bella. We've talked about this. Rosalie is just a friend. I'm not interested in her at all."

Bella felt bad for how frustrated he sounded. He'd come all this way to see her and she was acting like a jealous tart, ruining their time together.

"I know. I'm sorry Edward. I guess… I just feel a little jealous of her relationship with you."

A huge grin spread across Edward's face. "You're jealous?"

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am."

Edward took Bella's hand into his. "Don't be jealous. My heart belongs to you."

Bella sucked in a breath. Had Edward really just said that? She felt the familiar blush crawling up her neck and spreading across her cheeks. She had to have heard him wrong. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. He was staring at her intently, unleashing the full force of his beautiful green eyes on her.

"It's alright if you don't feel the same, Bella. I just… I've felt a strong connection with you since I laid my eyes on you. I know you dated my brother and that it might seem weird or people might think its weird, but I don't give a damn what anyone but you thinks."

Bella couldn't make her mouth form words. Instead she just stared at Edward. She couldn't believe what he was telling her. How could it be possible? What could he possibly see in her?"

"I guess I have my answer," Edward said softly as he dropped her hand.

"Wait," Bella said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her heart was hammering so hard and she was sure he could hear it too. "I… I do feel that way about you too," she whispered. "I just didn't think it was possible that you could feel that way about me." She looked at her feet. "And maybe we shouldn't feel this way about each other…"

"Bella…" Edward took both of her hands into his. "I really don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. The way you make me feel….no one has ever made me feel this way. Before you…shit, Bella, I was an asshole. I didn't ever want to settle down. But then you came along and believe me I tried to fight these feelings, but I just can't. And I don't want to."

Tears began to spill from Bella's eyes. She'd tried to fight her feelings too.

Edward chuckled softly. "I've gone and made you cry again," he said as he took her face in his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"Edward, I wish we didn't have to fight these feelings, but Jasper… I was with him for two years. It would hurt him if I suddenly started going out with you. And it would be so awkward around your family."

Edward sighed because Bella was right. He didn't care anymore. He was tired of trying to be the perfect son. But he couldn't hurt Jasper and he couldn't put Bella in any awkward situations.

"Well, we're both going to Florida with Jasper and Alice. We could talk to Jasper then."

"You're the other person who had to cancel this week?"

Edward smiled. "Yeah, that was me. I wanted to be with you."

Bella smiled too. "That's sweet." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. "I suppose we could feel Jasper out a bit. See how he would respond. He doesn't know you're here, does he?"

"He knows I'm in Malibu with Rose." He left out the part about Jasper thinking Rosalie was his girlfriend. "Hey, what did you mean earlier when you said a guy like me couldn't like a girl like you."

"Oh." Bella blushed. She'd forgotten she said that out loud.

"You know you're too good for me, right?" Edward said.

"What! No! Edward, you're perfect. I'm not good enough for you."

"How can you say that? Don't ever say that, Bella. Don't even think it. You are amazing, beautiful, wonderful. Perfect. I'm so lucky to even be hold you attention."

"I feel the same about you," she told him quietly.

"Can I kiss you, Bella?"

Her mind was racing. She should say no. They hadn't yet talked to Jasper. But who was she kidding? She'd been dying to kiss his beautiful mouth since Thanksgiving. She nodded and took a deep breath.

Edward tilted her head up a little and then bent to close the distance between their mouths.

His lips were full and soft and he tasted amazing. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tilted her head up more, pushing herself into him, deepening the kiss. And it was perfect. She suddenly couldn't remember why they shouldn't be together. Especially when it felt so right. She felt Edward's fingers on her bare skin just underneath the hem of her tank top. She never wanted him to let go. Their lips moved with each other in their own perfect rhythm.

Too soon the kiss ended. They were both breathless. Neither of them spoke, not wanting to ruin the moment with silly superfluous words. They gazed at each other for several seconds before Edward reached out for Bella's hand.

But Bella didn't want to just hold his hand. She ducked under his arm and Edward laughed as he tightened his grip on her.

The kiss had sealed things for them. There was no letting the other go now. They both felt it. They had to be with each other. Hopefully everyone else would understand, but if they didn't, neither Bella nor Edward cared at this point.

* * *

_A/N: So let me know what you guys thought. I'm hoping for a little more Rose and Emmett in the next chapter. We'll see. Talk to me._


	27. Love

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and commented on the last chapter. There aren't many of you, but believe me I love hearing from you guys. _

_A special thanks to Emerald-Forever. Thank you for your kind words. I hurried to post this chapter especially for you. _

_Hope you guys enjoy. Sorry this one's shorter than most. _

_

* * *

_

_Oh, Love_

_Never knew what I was missing_

_But I knew once we start kissing_

_I found…I found you…_

_-Love by Keyshia Cole-_

Even though it caused actual physical pain to separate from him, Bella pulled herself away from Edward as they approached her apartment.

Edward reached for her to pull her back, but Bella shook her head. "My brother definitely doesn't agree with this." She gestured between them. "I've gotta warm him up to the idea and he has to get to know you. Emmett can be really protective and its best if he doesn't think we're moving too fast."

Edward exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. Then he nodded. As hard as it would be to keep his hands off of her, it was for the best. Moving too fast could really fuck things up. And he definitely didn't want to do that. So they entered the apartment. Bella first and then Edward.

Their jaws dropped at the sight in front of them. Rosalie was straddling Emmett's lap, they were both shirtless and they were heavily making out.

"More than I ever wanted to see!" Bella shrieked covering her eyes and heading to the kitchen.

Rose and Emmett turned to look at Edward who was standing there shaking his head. "Way to play hard to get, Rose," he said shaking with laughter.

"I know it turns you on to stand there and watch, Eddie, but if you don't mind, get the fuck out of here," Rose said launching a pillow at him.

Edward headed to the kitchen to join Bella, not bothering to respond to Rose. "Speaking of moving to fast," he said still laughing.

"I could've gone my whole life without seeing that," Bella said.

"At least they weren't completely naked."

Bella shuddered. "I do not need that image in my head.

Edward took her hands and pulled her into him. "I can help you erase it."

"Oh yeah," Bella challenged. And then Edwards's lips were crashing against hers. He backed her up until he had her pinned against the counter.

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and tangled her fingers in his hair. She pulled him as close to her as she could. It still didn't feel close enough.

Edward picked her up and set her on the counter, never breaking their kiss. He ran his hand up her thighs and then back down.

Bella wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer with those too.

And then, "Get your hands off my little sister!" Emmett boomed from the doorway, crossing the room fast.

Bella jumped off the counter quickly and pushed Edward behind her. Although Edward tried to move between her and Emmett, Bella would not let him.

"Stop it, Emmett!" she shouted at him. So much for warming him up.

Emmett stopped and looked hurt.

"What we're doing in here in no different from what you're doing out there except we have more clothes on and we actually know each other!"

Emmett looked at his feet, "I'm just trying to protect you, Bells."

"I know, Em. But Edward wasn't hurting me."

"I'm sorry. You're my little sister. I don't want to see somebody touching you and taking advantage of you like that."

"He wasn't taking advantage of me. And I didn't exactly like seeing the scene in the living room either."

Emmett turned red and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, well…uh…"

"Look, Emmett, Edward and I really like each other. I wish you'd give us a change before you judge."

"Yeah, sure, Bells."

"Thank you," Bella hugged her big brother. "Please trust me," she whispered.

"It's not you I'm worried about," he said glaring at Edwards. "I've go my eye on you, boy" he said before turning and leaving the room.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Your brother scares me," Edward said dragging his hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry," Bella said wrapping her arms around his waist. "I told you he could be protective."

"It thought he was going to punch me."

"Yeah, me too. But it should be okay from now on. The bigger problem is _your _brother."

"Hmm…" Edward exhaled. He wondered how Jasper would react. Especially after his confession on the phone. Jasper had said it hurt to think of Bella with another man. How much would it hurt him to know that another man was his very own brother? Thinking about it that way scared him a little.

Was Bella worth hurting Jasper? He looked at her and knew there was no way he could live without her now.

"I guess we'll just have to be gentle when we tell him," Edward said.

Bella nodded. It scared her how quickly this had all happened. They'd talked on the phone every night for months, but this was the first time they were together in person. And her need for him was already so great. What would she do in two weeks when they had to separate again? The thought alone made it hard for her to breathe. And that was beyond scary.

"Bella, you okay?"

She swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I have something planned for tonight, if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, sure. It's your vacation."

Edward laughed. "I meant I have something planned for us."

"Oh." Bella turned red. "Okay, what?"

"It's a surprise. Just dress casual, okay?"

"Mmmhmm."

"I'll be back in a couple of hours then," he said.

Bella knew she should remove her arms from around his waist, but she couldn't. And Edward made no move to remove them. They stood like there for several minutes before he finally pulled gently from her embrace.

"I promise I'll be back soon." He kissed her forehead before leaving.

-------------

"You're packing already?" Jasper asked Alice. "We don't leave for another five days."

"I know. And yes I am. I don't want to forget anything."

Jasper nodded and watched as Alice packed yet another tiny bikini.

"Not that I mind you wearing them or anything, but how many bathing suits do you need?"

"Well, that depends," she replied.

"On what?" He couldn't imagine needing more than one.

"On whether or not I'm swimming, whether we're at the beach or a pool, whether its day or night. Keep up, Jazzy."

He shook his head and laughed. He'd never understand Alice and her fashion. Bella had been so simple. The thought of her name made his stomach turn. Since his talk with Edward he'd been thinking about her more than usual.

What if he really was still in love with her? Would he be able to hide it? Would he be able to resist her? Damn it. Why had Alice insisted on inviting Bella? Didn't she know it would be weird?

Maybe it was a test. Maybe Alice wanted to see if he was really over Bella. Damn it.

"Jazz, are you okay?" Alice interrupted his inner ramblings.

"Hmm… oh, yeah, I'm fin" he said. "Hey, Alice, is Bella bringing someone?"

"She didn't mention that she was. But I told her she had the option."

"Oh."

"Does it bother you that I invited her, Jasper" She looked up at him with her big blue eyes.

"No… I just…" He didn't want to like to her. But he didn't want to tell her the truth either.

"Jazz…" Alice began. "I know it will be weird seeing her again. It will be weird for all of us. But we'll get through it and we'll make it work. And we've got Edward and his girlfriend too." Alice made a face as she said the last line.

"Jasper laughed. "Puts a kind in you plans to hook him up with Bella, huh?"

"Only a minor one."

"I knew you were still trying to hook them up!"

"Does that bother you?"

Jasper thought about it. "Yes…no… I don't know."

"Is your brother really so bad?"

"He's a player, Alice."

"Because he hasn't found anyone special enough to make him quit the game. Come on, Jazz, you saw the way he looked at her."

He had seen it. And he hadn't liked it one bit. But then, Bella was still his at that point.

"If it really bothers you, just tell me."

"I don't know," Jasper told her. "You don't think it would be odd for my brother to start dating my ex?"

"I didn't say it wouldn't be weird at first. But I think eventually it would feel right. Just like this," she put her arms around Jasper's waist, "feels right."

Jasper nodded. This did feel right. Maybe Alice was right. Edward wasn't a bad person. In fact he was a really good person and Bella could do worse. And Edward certainly couldn't do better because Bella was the best. Well, after Alice.

Maybe he could get on board with hooking them up. And at least if Bella was with Edward, Jasper would be able to keep an eye on them and make sure Bella was being treated right.

Jasper bent down and kissed Alice. "You're probably right, you know."

"I'm always right, Jazzy," she giggled kissing him back.

* * *

_A/N: Alright, what are you thinking? _

_Also, I've started work on a new story called Near To You.  
It's much darker than this one as it deals with depression, suicide and substance abuse. It is also Edward/Jasper slash. Check it out if you want to. _


	28. I'll Be Your Man

_A/N: So here is the next chapter. Before we get to it though I want to thank EmmieCullen0195 whose idea a few chapters back helped to shape the beginning of this chapter. Hope you like it and thank you._

_Thanks to all of you who take the time to comment, you know who you are. Thank you all for your kind words and your support. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. And I hope you know how much all of your support means to me!_

* * *

"Hey Bells, I'm going to run to the store. Keep Rosie company for me," Emmett said grabbing his car keys for the counter.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. Why would he leave her alone with Rosalie who kept throwing dirty looks at her? Had he missed that? Yes, probably.

Bella took a deep breath and sat in the chair next to the couch. She concentrated her attention on the TV. Rose seemed to be doing the same.

"Look, Bella, I'm going to be completely honest with you," Rosalie said turning to face her.

She looked up to meet Rose's store and tried not to flinch away. It was so cold. What did Emmett see in her? She looked like such a bitch. She needed to focus. Rosalie was still speaking to her.

"…interested in me and yet somehow he's interested in you. Don't get me wrong, Bella, you're pretty. It's just well, look at me." She gestured to herself.

So wait a minute. Was the attitude because she was jealous?

"I mean, I never really wanted Edward or anything, but he's the only guy I've ever met who didn't show any interest in my whatsoever. You know?"

Bella nodded. She could imagine the attention Rosalie got wherever she went.

"For a while I thought he was gay. I mean, he had Tanya and she's a fucking hot chick, but he had no interest in her either. So I guess that it was only natural to think that all those girls he fucked were just a cover up."

Bella didn't know what to say to her. Was he gay? Was she a cover up too? Was that what Rose was trying to say?

"They obviously weren't, Bella." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "For whatever reason he's totally into you."

"Oh," was all she could say. This conversation was uncomfortable.

"So…anyway, are you taking anyone to Florida with you?"

Bella shook her head.

"Edward is taking me."  
"Really?"

"Yeah. Jasper thinks I'm his girlfriend or something."

"Oh." Great. Now she had to go to Florida and not only be in an awkward situation, but also a fifth wheel. And why did Jasper think Rose was Edward's girlfriend? Did Edward tell him that?

"So, maybe you should bring someone too," Rose said.

Bella just looked at her again.

"You know, someone to keep me company so you and Edward can sneak away together."

Bella nodded. She was pretty sure she knew where this was going.

"You get it, right Bella? You understand I'm hinting that you should bring your brother along, right?"

"Yeah, I got it," Bella said not hiding her irritation.

"Good. So you'll bring him?"

"I'll leave it up to him."

"He'll be going then."

Bella rolled her eyes. How did Edward put up with her? She didn't just look like a bitch she was a bitch. She wondered if she should even bother inviting Emmett. But she realized if she didn't and Rose found out, she'd probably make the trip hell.

Bella trained her attention on the TV again following Rosalie's lead. Rose was done talking , so Bella guessed that meant she was too.

She glanced at the clock and realized two hours had passed since Edward left. She had to get ready. She looked over at Rosalie who looked content watching the game on TV.

"I'm gonna go get ready. You gonna be okay?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I think I can watch TV without getting into trouble," Rose answered.

What a bitch! Bella left the room and headed to her bedroom. What was she going to wear? Edward had said casual. But she still wanted to look decent. She pulled out her favorite pair of skinny jeans. She knew those would be a part of her outfit. And her black high top converse all-stars. But what shirt? Eventually she decided on a white Beatles t-shirt. It was simple, but she felt comfortable and at least looked clean. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and put on some mascara.

Bella wasn't really sure why she was so nervous. She and Edward had spent time alone together. Not a lot, but she'd had some very soul-baring moments in front of him. In fact, Edward probably knew her better than anyone else in the world.

Maybe that was what scared her most. With everything Edward knew he had the ability to completely break her.

And Rosalie had been right. She couldn't understand what Edward saw in her either. Of all the girls he could have, any girl in the whole world, he wanted her. It felt nice, to be honest and she'd be damned if she was going to let her insecurities get in the way. Didn't she deserve to be truly happy?

She giggled as she thought about that. She remembered when Jasper had told her that she did. She hadn't believed him. Well, maybe she didn't deserve it, but she wasn't going to let it go.

"Bella!" she heard Emmett call her and wondered how long he'd been home. "Edward is back!" he yelled down the hall.

"I'm coming," Bella called back. She took one last look in the mirror before heading out to the living room.

"Bella." Edward held his arms out to her.

She didn't hesitate and went straight to him.

Edward leaned down and put his mouth right next to Bella's ear. "You look gorgeous, love," he whispered.

Bella blushed.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

Edward took her hand and led her to the door.

"You have your cell, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, Emmett. See you later. Behave," she called to him as she exited the apartment. She didn't hear his response.

"So where are we going?" she asked as soon as they were settled in the car.

"I told you, it's a surprise." Edward chuckled. "Are you nervous?"

"No. Yes. A little," she admitted.

"Me too. It's alright."

Bella smiled.

They talked as Edward headed out of the city and toward the coast. And suddenly one of their early phone conversations came to Bella's mind. Edward's perfect date. Was he taking her on his perfect date? She was more nervous than before as her breathing sped up.

"You okay, Bella?" Edward asked reaching over and taking her hand.

"Yeah. I… was just thinking about a conversation we had before." She looked at Edward and saw that he had a smile on his face. "What?" she asked smiling back.

"I thought you'd forgotten that conversation."

"I haven't forgotten any of our conversations," Bella told him.

He squeezed her hand then and pulled the car to a stop. "Stay here, okay?" he told her as he got out of the car and went to the trunk. She watched as he waked toward the beach with his arms full and disappeared. Several minutes later he reappeared and opened her door for her.

"Thank you," she said as he took her hand and helped her out of her seat.

"Thank you for coming with me," he said.

Bella blushed and they walked hand in hand down the beach. She saw the checkered picnic blanket spread out in the sand and smiled. It was like in her imagination only better.

"I hope this is okay," Edward said.

"It's perfect."

They sat down and Edward began unpacking the picnic basket. They ate and talked and laughed as they watched the sunset. It was absolutely amazing. Bella couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd been happier than she was at this moment. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Edward, this is amazing. I can't remember ever having this much fun."

"Me either," he said reaching up to stroke her face.

Bella shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"A little." It wasn't a lie. She was cold, but that wasn't why she had shivered.

"I have a jacket in the car. I'll be right back." Edward said getting up.

The sight of Edward walking away made Bella sad even though he was coming right back. She stared in the direction he'd gone until she could see him again. He was carrying a jacket and something else. Bella realized it was his guitar.

It brought up the memories from that night in his room. That night she had run from his room in order to stop from doing something stupid. She smiled at the memory. Despite the sexual tension, they'd had a nice time that night.

Edward handed Bella the jacket and she put it on. How she loved the smell of him. It was familiar to her, burned in her memory from the Thanksgiving trip. It was amazing how much had changed in just a few short months.

"I thought we could mess around like we did that one night in my room," Edward said holding up the guitar.

Bella smiled at how they'd been thinking about the same thing. "That sounds fun," she said as he settled back down on the blanket.

"So, what do you want me to play?" he asked

"Um… how about something by Van Morrison."

"Good choice." And he began to play _Madame Joy_.

They messed around and laughed and sang songs by Van Morrison, Kings of Leon and even a little Smashing Pumpkins because Bella asked for it.

And then Edward said "Can I play something for you, Bella?

"Sure," Bella said.

Edward leaned forward and placed a quick, soft kiss on her lips before beginning to play.

_Need a new love – I'm ready_

_Want my time - I'm willin' yeah_

_Cus I'm the one who's gonna show when there's nobody_

_I'll be your man - Yeah I'll be your man_

_Times gets tough, oh they get tougher_

_Hold on to me - I got you darling_

_Cus I'm the one who's gonna show when there's nobody_

_I'll be your man_

_I'll be your man_

_River is deep - Yeah I'm swimming_

_Mountain is high - I'm gonna climb, climb, climb_

_Yeah I'm the one who's gonna show when there's nobody_

_I'll be your man_

_I'll be your man_

_I'll be your man_

_I'll be your man_

Bella's heart was pounding hard. She couldn't believe Edward was singing to her. She felt like she might cry again. She swallowed trying to force the tears back. The song wasn't mushy, but she got was he was saying. And it was so sweet. And Edward sounded so amazing.

Edward looked at her as he finished the song. Bella was smiling and she had tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to make you cry again," Edward said.

"Oh, Edward. That was beautiful. Thank you," she said rising to her knees and leaning in to kiss him.

Edward set the guitar aside and pulled her into his lap. He'd longed to hold her for so long and she was finally in his arms. She was finally his.

Bella kissed his neck, then his jaw and lastly his lips.

"You're amazing," she whispered.

"No, you're amazing," he said kissing her hair.

And they sat there holding each other staring out at the ocean, the guitar forgotten. Edward would lean down periodically and kiss her in random places and she would reciprocate with random kisses of her own.

And it was comfortable. They didn't need to fill the silence. They just needed to be together.

Eventually Bella yawned.

"Guess I should get you home," Edward said.

"I'd rather stay here in you arms," Bella said stifling another yawn.

"Look at you. You can barely keep you eyes open." He stood up. And Bella stood. Then Edward did something that surprised her. He picked her up and cradled her in his arms.

"Edward, put me down. I'm too heavy."

He just laughed as he carried her to the car. She rested her head against his chest and listened to his breathing. It wasn't strained at all.

They got to the car and Edward set her on her feet and opened the door for her. Bella was so tired she practically collapsed into the passenger seat.

"Go ahead and sleep, Bella. I'll be right back," he said, leaning in and kissing her forehead.

Bella knew she wasn't going to sleep. She wanted to spend every moment she was with him conscious. She could sleep after he dropped her off.

The drive home was quiet. Edward held her hand the entire ride. Bella stared at him, memorizing every thing about his face. She was afraid she'd wake up in the morning and find this had all been a dream. Or worse that Edward would suddenly change his mind and be gone from her life.

She wanted to commit every detail of this perfect night to memory so she'd always have at least that much.

When Edward pulled up to her apartment he got out quickly and once again picked her up. He carried her into the living room where Rose and Emmett where cuddled on the couch watching a baseball game.

He continued past them and took Bella to her room. He laid her down in her bed, took off her shoes and tucked her in. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Stay," she whispered half asleep.

The offer was tempting, but it was still early in their relationship and if he stayed she might regret it later.

"Not tonight, love. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." He bent down and gave her one last kiss before turning to leave.

As he flicked off the light he heard Bella sigh his name and he smiled at the sound. Who knew how unbelievable this thing called love could be?

* * *

_A/N: Alright guys. Let me know what you're thinking. _

_The song Edward sang to Bella is "I'll Be Your Man" by the Black Keys. There is a link on my profile in case you cane to hear it. There is also a link for Bella's outfit._


	29. Loving You Comes Naturally

_A/N: So I said Saturday, but I had some free time today so here's the last chapter before everyone meets up in Florida._

_Hope you guys like it. _

* * *

_When the moon pulls the tide_

_The ocean don´t ask why_

_It just follows_

_No one has to tell the trees_

_It´s time to grow new leaves_

_Down in the hollow_

_And I´ve heard it said_

_It´s all part of the Good Lord´s master plan_

_And now I understand Why_

_Every time you walk in the room_

_I find myself reaching for you_

_I don´t even have to try_

_´Cause just like the way_

_This heart of mine beats_

_Loving you comes naturally to me_

_Like singin´ is to the birds_

_Never at a loss for words_

_When I´m near you_

_And every time I hold you tight_

_I get the feeling deep inside_

_I was born to _

_Girl, there ain´t no doubt_

_It´s the easiest thing I´ve ever done_

_And I know you´re the one ´cause_

_Every time you walk in the room_

_I find myself reaching for you_

_I don´t even have to try_

_´Cause just like the way_

_This heart of mine beats_

_Loving you comes naturally to me_

_-Loving You Comes Naturally by Clay Walker-_

Bella woke up in the morning still dressed in her clothes from yesterday. Proof that it had been real and not a dream. She smiled as she climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen.

"Where's Rosalie?" she asked Emmett, who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"She went home with Edward last night," he answered looking at her like she had sprouted and extra head and wings.

"What? You two were all over each other. I figured she would stay the night."

"Geez, Bell. I have some manners. You don't sleep with a girl you like on the first night. Its one of the rules."

"You with these rules."

"They're real. Just because _some_ people don't follow them."

"You know what, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to Florida with me, but if you're gonna act like that, never mind."

"Wait, Bells. I'm sorry. I was just joking. You know I didn't mean it, right?" Emmett said looking panicked.

Bella laughed.

"It's not funny, Bella!" Emmett said.

"You should've seen your face. Man, Em, you've got it bad."

"I do not. Sue me, Bells. I haven't been around any girl besides you in years. And this beautiful goddess walks in her and for some reason only the Lord knows, she's interested in me. What would you do?"

"So now you understand my situation with Edward."

"What? It's hardly the same thing."

"It is so the same thing, Emmett."

"Na-uh, Bells. You're way too good for that dirtbag."

"Well, I think you're way too good for that bitch."

"Harsh Bells."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't make it any less true. And Edward is not a dirtbag."

"Rosalie is not a bitch. And anyone who dates his brothers ex behind his back is a dirtbag."

"We're. NOT. Dating! And Jasper will know soon, okay. We plan on talking to him in Florida. And any girl who admits they don't like someone just because a guy is interested in them and not her is a bitch. Point blank."

"She just says what's on her mind, that's all. Why are you getting so defensive over this guy?"  
"I could ask you the same thing," she said folding her arms across her chest.

"Okay, so I like her. Big deal. Are you taking me to Florida?"

"I don't know why I should."

"Because I'm your big brother and you love me." He pulled out his puppy dog face.

And of course Bella couldn't resist. "Alright Emmett. You can come. But you have to be nice to Edward.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Promise me!"  
"Alright, I promise. Geez!"

"Good." Bella went to the refrigerator.

"Are you gonna make breakfast now," Emmett asked.

And Bella laughed as she pulled the eggs from the fridge. "Yeah sure."

_"I'm heavily broken and I don't know what to do. Can't you see that I'm choking and I can't even move? When there's nothing left to say what can I do?"  
_

"Ugh! When are you gonna change that damn ring tone?" Emmett said.

"I think I'll keep it for awhile longer just to annoy you," Bella said before reaching into her pocket for her phone. She smiled seeing Edward's name on the screen. "Hello," she answered.

"Good morning, Love," Edward greeted her. He'd missed her so much last night. He'd waited as long as he could before calling her again. It had taken a lot of effort not to call her as soon as he was away from her.

Bella giggled. She loved when he called her love, the way it sounded in his velvet smooth voice.

He heard the giggle and he stifled a moan. Oh, what it did to him. "So can I come over?"

"Of course," Bella said. "And tonight it's my turn."

'Your turn?"

"You don't have plans already, do you?"

"I was hoping I could spend more time with you."

"Well, that's in my plans too," she told him. "But I want to cook you dinner."

"That sounds nice," Edward said. How was he going to go back to South Carolina without her? If she asked him to he would quit school and move to California to be with her. But of course he couldn't tell her that. Not yet. It was still too soon. Too soon to justify these intense feelings he had for her.

"Edward, are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"So, when are you coming?"

"Well… I'm on my way now."

"Oh."

"Is that okay?"  
"Yeah. I just need to get dressed."

"Okay, well, I'll let you go."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye, Love." Edward reluctantly hung up the phone.

"Love?" Rosalie asked.

Edward shrugged.

"That's so cheesy, Edward."

"Maybe," he said. He wasn't letting Rosalie bait him into an argument. Not today.

"No, comeback. Man, Eddie, she's making you soft."

"Shut up, Rose," he snapped.

"Ooh, testy," Rosalie said. But she realized Edward wasn't playing so the changed her tune. "You really like her, huh?"

"Yes. If I didn't I definitely wouldn't risk hurting my brother."

"I know. I was just playing before."

"Yeah, I know. So, you and Emmett, huh?"

Rosalie shrugged. "He's different than other guys."

"How so?"

"He's… I don't know how to describe it. He treats me differently. Not like I'm just a piece of ass. Kinda the way you treat me…only different because he likes me. And he's really sweet and he's funny. I…" she stopped.

Edward waited for her to finish. When she didn't continue she said, "You what?"

"I've never met anyone who has made me want them to really like me. And Emmett? I want him to like me, like the real me."

"Wow, Rose. That's amazing."

"It scares the shit out of me because I didn't think anyone like that actually existed."

Edward laughed. "I know what you mean. It is scary, isn't it."

"Yeah," Rose nodded.

"But at the same time, it's a good scary."

"Damn, Edward, I never thought I'd see the day when both you and I were ready to settle down," she laughed.

"It was fun while it lasted, but I think this will be more fulfilling."

"I agree," Rosalie said as the Swan's apartment came into view.

"I think you're going soft on me, Rose," Edward chuckled.

She punched him in the arm.

"OW!"

"Take it back," she said.

"Alright, alright," he laughed. "I take it back. You're a hard ass. Happy?"

"Yes."

Edward pulled the car to a stop and they both got our and headed to the door.

--------

Bella made dinner for the four of them. She'd been trying to get Emmett to take Rosalie somewhere, but he obviously hadn't gotten her hints. Or if he had he chose to ignore them. So the four of them had eaten together and then they were going to watch a movie.

Emmett and Rosalie went to the video store to rent a movie while Edward and Bella stayed behind to clean up the kitchen. They'd cleared the table and now they stood side by side doing the dishes. Bella washed, Edward dried.

"Dinner was amazing, Bella," Edward said.

"Thank you." Bella blushed.

"You're a great cook."

"Thanks again."

"I don't think I've ever enjoyed doing the dishes this much," he said bumping her lightly with his hip.

Bella giggled, "Me either."

"Do you know what that does to me?"

Bella looked at him confused.

"I love your laugh," he growled spinning her toward him.

"Oh," Bella said, surprised. Edward pulled her into him roughly. He bent down and pushed his lips against hers.

Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up to bury her hands in his hair. She pulled him closer. She didn't think she'd ever get sick of kissing him.

Edward wrapped his arms around her tighter, making sure there was no empty space between their bodies.

And then Emmett walked in and said, "Do I always have to walk in on the two of you tongue wrestling?"

"You have impeccable timing," Bella said breathlessly, pulling away from Edward and turning back to the dishes. Why did he have to keep interrupting them?

"Anyway," Emmett said loudly, ignoring her, "we got The Hangover and Funny People. So if you two ever finish the dishes, we can actually watch these."

"We're just about finished, Em," Bella said looking up at Edward.

He leaned down and kissed her nose. It was so sweet and it made Bella's heart soar.

They finished the dishes and then joined Emmett and Rosalie in the living room. They were already cuddled on the couch, so Edward and Bella sat on the floor leaning against the couch side by side. Edward put his arm around her and pulled her close.

They watched The Hangover. Well, Bella mostly watched Edward. She loved how his eyes crinkled when he laughed. She loved how he randomly ran hi hand through his hair. And she loved how when he thought she wasn't looking he'd lean over and smell her hair. She loved everything about him.

Eventually Edward pulled her between his legs and she leaned back against his chest. She turned her head so she could listen to his perfect steady heartbeat. Bella almost forgot that Emmett and Rosalie were in the room with them. She couldn't concentrate on much besides Edward's steady breathing, his heartbeat and his perfect toned arms wrapped around her. She really didn't care to concentrate on anything else.

Edward enjoyed holding Bella. He wished they could stay this way forever. He looked down to see she had fallen asleep. She looked like an angel. She was his angel.

He looked behind him to see that Rosalie had fallen asleep in Emmett's arms. And she looked peaceful. More peaceful than Edward ever remembered seeing her.

Edward wondered if Rose would be interested in moving out here. Maybe she would. They could move out here together. Or maybe she wouldn't. He didn't know. But he was glad to see her happy. She came off hard, but deep down Rosalie just wanted to be loved and she was scared to be n a position where she could get hurt. It surprised him how easily she was letting herself fall for Emmett.

But then he'd never imagined he would fall so easily. Maybe when you find true love there is no stopping yourself.

Bella shifted in his arms and mumbled his name. She was dreaming of him. He smiled and kissed her hair. He hoped it was a good dream.

Edward decided not to wake her. He was content to hold her all night long. He looked up to see if Emmett was sleeping. He wasn't.

"I promised Bella and Rosalie I'd give you a chance," Emmett said his voice barely above a whisper. "But I swear to God if you ever hurt her I'll make you were never born."

Edward nodded. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said. "And just so you know, Rose may not be my sister, but she is my best friend and the same warning goes for you."

Emmett looked at Rosalie and then back at Edward. "So we understand each other then?"

"Yeah," Edward said sweeping a piece of Bella's hair out of her face. "If I ever hurt her," he said quietly, but fiercely, "I'd beg you to kill me." And he truly meant that. The though of Bella in any kind of pain was bad enough, but pain caused by him? He could never live with himself. And he didn't care if it was too soon to feel that way. He did. He couldn't explain it and he didn't care to try. His heart belong wholly to Bella and he never wanted it back.

* * *

_A/N: So what's on your mind?_


	30. Beginning of Bedlam

_A/N: This chapter was extremely hard to write for some reason. I'm still not really one hundred percent happy with it, but hopefully you guys will enjoy it._

_Thank you again to my wonderful reviewers. I heart you guys!_

* * *

The week had been so wonderful that Bella had never wanted it to end. Unfortunately it had ended. And quickly.

Saturday she and Emmett had driven Edward and Rosalie to the airport. It hurt to say goodbye to Edward even though she knew she'd be seeing him in a little over a day. She held onto him until the last possible minute, until Rosalie pried them apart so they wouldn't miss their flight.

The four of them had discussed how they would handle Florida. Emmett and Rosalie had agreed to keep their distance from each other until Edward and Bella had a chance to talk to Jasper. Their only condition was that they make it quit.

Bella and Emmett's flight left early Sunday morning. Bella had hardly slept all night. She missed the feel of Edward's arms. After their second night together Edward never left and neither did Rosalie.

Emmett had suggested they just stay so that they didn't waste so much money on gas. He'd said Edward could sleep in his room and Rose could stay with Bella.

Rose had said, "Fuck that. I'm sleeping with you Grizzly Bear."

Bella had gagged and Edward had laughed and then offered to sleep on the couch.

Emmett nodded in approval, which caused Bella to imitate Rose. "Fuck that," she'd said, "you're sleeping with me Mountain Lion." And then she'd dissolved in a fit of laughter.

"Mountain Lion? Really Bells?" Emmett had said laughing loudly.

Bella had shrugged and that was it. The sleeping arrangements were set.

Bella smiled thinking about that day as she stared out the plane window. She missed Edward so much already. She turned to Emmett. Of course he was sleeping. She wondered if he missed Rosalie as much.

She closed her eyes. She wished she could shut her brain off so she could get a little bit of sleep. She didn't want to look like a mess when the plane landed.

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew Emmett was shaking her awake. And that was when the nerves set in. It was the first time she'd see Jasper in six months. It would be the first time she'd talk to him. What should she say? How should she act? Would it be wrong to hug him? Even though they'd both moved on it was bound to be awkward.

"Come on, Bells. It'll be alright," Emmett said putting an arm around her and steering her toward baggage claim.

They got their luggage and then headed to where Alice said she'd meet them. Bella wondered if Jasper would be there too. As she looked around she heard someone calling her name. She turned around to see Alice running toward her at full speed. Bella braced herself for impact, but instead Alice came to an abrupt stop directly in front of her.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked as if she were standing on the other side of the airport. She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet before launching herself at Bella.

"Alice," she said laughing. Bella hadn't realized how much she'd missed her. Alice was her soul sister. She hadn't realized it before this moment.

Alice pulled away and looked Emmett up and down. "You brought someone."

"Um, yeah. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah," Alice shrugged then leaned in close to Bella and stage whispered, "Who is he?"

"Oh. This is my brother, Emmett. Emmett this is Alice."

Alice flashed him a megawatt smile. "Nice to meet you."

Emmett laughed and said, "I like you little pixie."

Alice giggled. "I like you too Emmett," she said before grabbing Bella's hand and dragging her toward where Jasper was standing.

Bella gave Jasper a small smile and waved. She had thought it would hurt to see him again. But oddly it didn't. She still felt a little nervous about what to tell him later. She definitely didn't want to hurt him. She still cared about him, even if she wasn't in love with him anymore.

She smiled to herself at that thought. She realized now that it didn't hurt when she thought about him. She could remember the good times and not feel sad about the breakup. She truly had moved on.

"Hi Jasper," she said looking into his ice blue eyes.

"Hey, Bells," he said softly.

Then without thinking about it, Bella stepped forward, put her arms around him and pulled him in for a quick hug.

For once Jasper was sure he was more uncomfortable than Bella was. He'd watched Alice dragging her toward him. He'd noticed Conan the Barbarian trailing behind. He wondered if that was Bella's new boyfriend. He wasn't her type at all.

Jasper had been unsure what to say to her. He had been prepared for her to feel equally awkward. And now here she was hugging him as if he were just a friend. Like he'd never been anything more. He knew this was what he'd wanted. Deep down, he knew that. But a part of him was sad that she'd moved on so completely in such a short time. And with The Hulk. And he was sure it wasn't an act because Bella had never been very good a pretending. He always knew. And even though they'd been apart for six months he was sure he still would know.

"You look good," Bella said pulling away. She was surprised how easy this way. And how the impossible task of being friends with Jasper now seemed entirely possible. And it was all because of Edward. She blushed at the thought of his name.

Jasper noticed the blush. He missed that. He was angry with himself for missing that. Why the hell couldn't he move on? He had Alice. He loved Alice. He'd been fine until Alice had started talking about hooking Bella up with Edward. That had woken the jealousy in him and made him realize that maybe he'd gone about things the wrong way.

He looked down to see Bella staring at him. He realized he'd gotten completely lost in his thoughts. "Thanks. So do you, Bells."

She blushed again and he had to close his eyes. This trip was going to be torture if he couldn't just let her go. Right now he wanted to take her hand and run away to someplace where no one could find them. He wanted it to be just him and her.

He forced himself to think of Alice. Alice was his "soul mate" as she'd put it. And he believed it. But maybe he'd ended things with Bella too soon. Maybe he hadn't ended things the way he should have.

Bella tried not to squirm. The way Jasper was staring at her was making her a little uncomfortable. She glanced at Alice to see if it was upsetting her too, but she didn't seem to notice. She was busy engaging in a conversation with Emmett.

Jasper followed Bella's gaze. She was looking at Arnold Schwarzenegger. He looked back at her. She looked worried. "Who's that guy?" he asked with more bitterness in his voice that he'd meant.

Bella's head snapped toward him, the shock apparent on her face.

Alice answered, "Jasper, this is Emmett. Bella's _brother_," she said softly, placing her hand on Jasper's forearm.

He squeezed his eyes shut to regroup. Bella's brother. He was acting like a jealous asshole. She wasn't his Bella anymore. He had to remind himself of that.

"Well," Alice said threading her fingers with Jasper's, "let's get back to the hotel. You guys are probably exhausted."

Bella nodded. Jasper's behavior confused her. It was like they had switched roles or something. Usually he was calm and she was awkward. Now it was opposite. She wondered what he was thinking. Maybe he sensed she had something to talk to him about. Jasper had always been able to figure her out so easily.

Alice mostly filled the silence on the ride back to the hotel. She chattered about the weather and getting a tan. She talked about getting used to New York and how cold the winter had been.

Bella noticed that she and Jasper never let go of each other's hand. She had thought seeing it in person would bother her. It didn't. Now all she could think about was how much she missed Edward's hand in hers, his long slender fingers entwined with hers. She missed him and it had been just over 24 hours. How would she survive until they told Jasper?

They pulled up to the hotel and got out.

"Come on, Bella," Alice said. "I want to spend some time with you before me and Jazz have to go pick up Edward."

Bella followed Alice.

"We got three room," Alice said. "I didn't know you were bringing someone so yours is just a single, but we can try to switch you to another room if you want."

"It's alright," Bella said. "Emmett can sleep on the floor," she laughed.

Alice looked at her, her face completely serious.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

Bella scrunched her brow in confusion. "I'm fine. Why?"

"I just… well, I know it's got to be awkward being here with me and Jasper. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Just… tell me if I do something that weirds you out or whatever."

"You know what? I was worried about it at first, but I'm completely fine. I'm totally over it."

"Really?" Alice looked unsure.

Bella nodded. "Really Alice. I'm really happy for you and Jazz. I wasn't sure I'd ever get to this point, but here I am."

Now Alice nodded, but she didn't look any less worried.

"Are you okay, Ali?"

Alice looked up at Bella, her bright blue eyes on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked concerned for her friend.

"I'm afraid Jasper's not completely over you."

"That's impossible," Bella told her as she felt her stomach sinking. If that was the truth it would really throw a wrench into things.

Alice shook her head. "Whenever your name comes up he gets this far away look in his eye. He's super protective of you. He says things like no one is good enough for you. And when I mention you being with someone else he gets defensive. And a few times he's even said your name in his sleep."

Bella gasped. Jasper had broken up with her! That should mean he was over her. She struggled with what to say to Alice. "Maybe…" she began "it's just the awkwardness of seeing me again," she said hoping to convince Alice. "Plus I'm sure I'd be protective over who Jazz dated too if I didn't already know you were the greatest." She smiled.

"Really, Ali, we were together for a long time. We care about each other, but not in that way. I wouldn't worry about it."

Alice nodded. And then she smiled. "I am the greatest, aren't I?"

Bella laughed. "You are Alice, you really are." She just hoped that the greatest was wrong for once in her life.

------

Edward saw his brother standing there waiting for him and suddenly he felt guilty for keeping his relationship with Bella a secret. He couldn't wait to see her again and then get talking to Jasper over with.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper called.

"Jasper," Edward greeted. "This is Rosalie," he said gesturing to Rose.

"Nice to meet you," Jasper greeted her.

"Same her," Rose said flinging her hair over her shoulder. "Let's get the fuck out of her. I need to take a fucking shower. I smell worse than a sweaty jock strap."

Edward smirked at the shocked look on Jaspers face. "Classy Rose. Nice first impression," he chided her.

"Bite me," Rose retorted.

"Nah, you'd like it too much," Edward laughed as Rose punched him in the arm. " Ow. You're so damn violent."

"You love it."

Jasper just looked back and forth between them. They really didn't act like boyfriend and girlfriend. But who was he to judge. If it worked for them, so be it.

"Where's Alice?" Edward asked knowing exactly where she was. He had texted Bella as soon as the plane landed. She'd told him Jasper would be coming to the airport alone.

"She's with Bella and Bella's brother," Jasper told him. "You should see her brother. He's fucking huge."

Edward nodded. Emmett was huge. But he wasn't supposed to know that.

"I like 'em big," Rose said and Edward shot her a look. She just shrugged.

Jasper hadn't missed the exchange and he wondered if maybe he'd been mistaken about them dating. He didn't recall Edward actually saying that. But he got the sense that something was up between them. Maybe they were just fucking or something like that.

"What time did they get here?" Edward asked.

"This morning. I imagine by the time we get to the hotel they'd be about ready for bed," Jasper said.

"Yeah, me too," Edward said, "I'm beat."

"The hotel is not far from here," Jasper said.

The ride to the hotel was mostly quiet. If they talked it was mostly about trivial things. Edward was afraid to reveal too much. Jasper had asked about the trip to California, but Edward didn't go into to much detail. He just said it was fun and that he may like to live there someday.

Jasper hadn't cared much for New York better. They'd had a short debate about it with Rosalie declaring the best state was Florida because it's the one she was in right now.

At the hotel Jasper gave Edward his and Rose's room key and then he texted Alice to find out where she was, hoping that by now Bella was in bed and Alice was by herself.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Alice was in Bella's room. She wanted Jasper to come get her so they could go to dinner, just the two of them.

So Jasper made his way to Bella's room feeling his stomach knot up at the thought of seeing her again. He hated himself for feeling that way, so he tried to push it aside.

But then he go to he room and Bella was in a tank top and her old sweatpants. Those fucking sweatpants. He couldn't peel his eyes away from her.

Alice looked back and forth between Jasper and Bella. Jasper was staring quite obviously at Bella. Bella was as read as a tomato and trying to ignore his staring.

Alice felt like crying. Maybe this was a terrible idea. She should have known better than to bring Jasper's ex-girlfriend into the picture. But she had honestly though he was over Bella and that they were in love. Jasper had said he wanted to remain friends with Bella. But he couldn't be friends with her if she still had those kinds of feelings for her.

Alice grabbed Jasper's hand and finally he pulled his eyes away from Bella. He looked down at his girlfriend and could immediately read the hurt in his eyes. He was fucking up big time.

"Come on, Jasper," Alice sighed pulling him from the room. "Bye, Bella," she called over her shoulder.

Bella felt so guilty. Logically she knew she'd down nothing wrong. She didn't even feel the same about Jasper anymore. That was in the past. But he couldn't stop staring at her and she felt bad for Alice. Alice didn't deserve this.

"Wow, that was intense," Emmett said finally breaking the silence.

"I feel so bad."

"It's not your fault, Bells."

"I know. I just feel bad for Alice. She deserves better."

"Why? She stole you boyfriend," Emmett reminded her.

"It didn't exactly happen that way."

"But it was hardly a mutual decision to break up, right?"

"Well yeah, but that's not Alice's fault either. She didn't pursue him at all. And Besides, Jasper was right. I've found something good."

"How do you think Jasper is going to react when he finds out you're with his brother?"

"Shut up, Emmett." Bella knew he was right. If Jasper wasn't over her he was going to have a hard time accepting that she'd moved on with Edward. But she didn't say so. Instead she said, "Go to Rosalie and send Edward here. We have to talk."

Emmett looked at his sister and just shook his head. He left without saying a word.

Several minutes later there was a knock on the door. Bella opened it and was shocked to see Jasper standing there.

"Can I come in?" Jasper asked.

Bella hesitated. Edward was probably on his way. But eventually she said, "Sure Jazz, come on in."

She stepped aside to let him in and then quickly pulled her phone from her pocket to send Edward a text.

E- J is here. Don't come now. – B

She hoped he had his phone on him. She looked at Jasper who was standing in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets and looking down at his feet.

"What's up Jasper?" Bella said sitting down on the bed. This was the awkwardness she hadn't felt earlier.

Jasper looked up and she saw that there were tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, immediately standing and going to him.

"I'm so confused," he said reaching for her. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself.

Bella allowed herself to be pulled into his arms. All she wanted at that moment was to comfort Jasper. She couldn't think of anything besides making him feel better.

He held her close and she rested her head against his chest, listening to his frantic heartbeat. Jasper was nervous.

She looked up to see him staring down at her.

Finally he spoke. "Bella… what if we made a mistake?"

* * *

_A/N: So...?_

_Also check out these stories if you get a chance:_

_A Tangiable Dichotomy by PerfectlyPersuasive - An Edward-Jasper Slash. Its really good and beautifully written._

_A Woman Scorned by BellaBaby24 - This is absolutely FABULOUS! _

_How to Save a Life by UnholyObsession - Very emotional, beautifully written. _


	31. Your Winter

_A/N: I'm apologizing in advance for this lengthy author's note._

_First I want to say I was shocked by the response I got to the last chapter. Some of you really gave it to Jasper. I almost felt a little bad for the guy. I hope you guys don't hate him too much. Hopefully he's redeemed a little in this chapter. And hopefully you'll understand his true motives. He's really not a bad guy. Just confused. That's all I can say though without giving the chapter away._

_I want to thank bookworm19065 for pointing out a continuity problem and I address the problem in this chapter briefly. _

_I also need to thank Emmie for once again influencing the direction of this story. Sometimes I get stuck for ideas and some of her comments really inspire me._

_I then of course I need to thank all of you who took the time to comment and review because you guys are the reason I have continued this story past the first couple of chapters. So as always, I heart you guys. _

_

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_

_I won't be your winter_

_I won't be anyone's excuse to cry_

_We can be forgiven_

_I will be here_

_-Your Winter by Sister Hazel-_

There was a knock on the door. "I got it!" Rosalie shouted as she ran for the door.

Edward laughed. This was a side of Rose he wasn't used to seeing. She answered the door and Emmett stepped in enveloping Rose in a bear hug.

"Bella's waiting for you," Emmett said as he put Rose down and handed Edward his key card. "She wants to talk"

Edward took it from him and headed out the door. "Have fun," he called behind him.

"Edward you forgot your phone," Rose shouted after him, but the door was already closed. She shrugged and returned her attention to Emmett.

Edward walked hurriedly to Bella's room. He couldn't wait to see her again. As he reached her door he ran his hands through his hair trying to tame it a bit before swiping the card.

As he opened the door he was assaulted with the image of Jasper holding Bella in his arms. What the hell was going on? He restrained himself from making his presence known. Had this been what Bella had wanted to talk about? He quickly moved to close the door, but not before he heard Jasper speak.

"Bella… what if we made a mistake?"

It took everything Edward had in him not to slam the door closed. As soon as it was closed he took off running down the hallway. He didn't know what to do with what he had seen. He'd been so sure that Bella had moved on from Jasper, that she felt the same as he did. But now, if Jasper was back in the picture, what did that mean for him? Did Bella still want Jasper? By being with him when she couldn't be with Jasper was she just settling for second best?

Fuck. It really hurt to think of that. But it was a very real possibility that had never crossed his mind.

Edward didn't know where he was going, but he ran straight out the front door of the hotel. He needed to get some air because suddenly he felt like he was suffocating. The thought of being without Bella was more than he could handle.

Of course he wanted her happiness, but he was a selfish creature as well and he wanted her happiness with him. Not with Jasper. Jasper who had broken her heart and left him the pieces to pick up. His heart hurt thinking he might lose Bella forever.

-------

Bella looked up at Jasper and fisted her hand in his shirt. Being in his arms this way, it would be easy to believe that maybe they had made a mistake. That possibly they were supposed to be together.

But as soon as she thought it her mind flashed to Edward. And she knew they hadn't made a mistake. She pulled away from Jasper, but took his hand and led him to the bed.

"Jasper," she said softly, sitting down and pulling him down next to her. "We didn't make a mistake." She watched as he pulled his hand away and buried his face in his hands. She could see his back heaving slightly and knew he was crying.

"I just…" he said, his voice muffled by the tears and his hands.

Bella rubbed soothing circles on his back. "It's okay, Jazz," she murmured.

Jasper looked up at her. "It's not okay, Bells. I can't stop thinking about you, worrying about you. I lie awake at night wondering how you're doing, if you're well, if there's anyone taking care of you."

"Jazz, I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Sometimes I think maybe we should have done things differently… maybe I shouldn't have ended things so abruptly. That it would have been easier…" he trailed off.

And Bella realized what the real problem was. Jasper was talking about worrying about her, about not ending things so quickly, but ultimately still ending things. Jasper wasn't still in love with her like he thought he was. He felt guilty for leaving her. She leaned forward and hugged him.

"Bella, you're not helping," Jasper said.

"Tell me something," she said pulling away, "how do you feel about Alice?"

"She's amazing. Alice is the most beautiful woman in the world. She has such a kind heart and she's beyond talented. She's wonderful with Katie and her smile makes my heart soar."

Bella nodded. She was right. Jasper was just confused about what his feelings meant.

"And when you picture your future, is she in it?"  
"Yes. But I don't understand where you're going with this."

"Oh, Jasper, you sweet man. You're so confused."

"I already know that."

"You don't have those kind of feelings for me anymore," she said resting her head on his shoulder. "You just feel guilty."

"What?"

"You said you worry about me. You wonder if anyone is taking care of me. You just feel culpable."

Jasper just looked at her.

"I was a mess when you broke up with me, Jazz. I won't deny that. If Emmett hadn't shown up the day you left, some of your worries may have been valid." She winced remembering those weeks right after the break up that Emmett had practically had feed her. He still kept a close eye on her and got extremely upset if he didn't see visible evidence that she'd eaten.

"But you shouldn't feel guilty because you did what was necessary for you. For both of us. And I'm all right now. I've moved on and you can too. A part of me will always love you, as I hope a part of you will always love me. You've been my best friend for years and I don't want that to change.

"But you and Alice are completely meant for each other. I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. I don't want you to ruin the amazing thing you have with her because you feel responsible for my well being.

"Even if I had completely spiraled out of control, it still wouldn't be your fault. I had these problems before I even met you and I'll continue to struggle with them for the rest of my life I'm sure. It's not something that just disappears. But you being worried about me isn't enough of a reason for us to be together." She squeezed his arm hoping she was getting through.

"Bella, you're an amazing woman. Do you know that?"

She blushed.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "For everything. I've been such an ass. You're right. I felt so bad for leaving you all alone is California knowing your past. I've been so scared something would happen to you. I didn't want you to jump into some rebound relationship with some asshole that didn't deserve you. All I wanted to do was protect you.

"Watching you cry was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I didn't want anyone to ever make you feel that way again. But you're really okay? You know… you're eating well… and everything?"

"I'm really okay, Jazzy. Emmett takes good care of me. It's not your job anymore. And I've…" she stopped.

"You what?" Jasper said taking her hand.

She hadn't wanted to tell him without Edward here. But she didn't really want to wait anymore. She wanted to get all the heavy stuff out of the way so they could just enjoy the rest of the vacation.

"I've met someone."

Jasper tensed slightly.

"Jazz…" she said tentatively, "It's not a rebound. It's the real thing. It's not official yet or anything because we we're waiting. But he's good to me."

As she told him about her new relationship Jasper didn't feel jealous at all and he was so glad Bella had talked some sense into him. Now he knew why some guys chose to ignore their feelings. Some of them were so asinine.

"Is it anyone I know?" Jasper asked.

Bella nodded.

"Who is it?" He didn't like the look on her face.

Bella bit her lip and said, "You have to promise me you won't get upset."

Jasper looked at her slightly confused. Who could it be that would make him upset? Had she lied about Emmett being her brother?

"Jasper promise," she demanded.

"Bella…"

She took a deep breath and then she spat it out, "Edward."

It took a moment for the name to register. And then he repeated her, "Edward?"

Bella nodded.

"My brother, Edward?" he asked his voice rising in volume with each word.

She nodded again watching Jasper's face grow more red with anger by the second. He was about to explode.

"YOU'RE DATING MY FUCKING BROTHER!" he shouted at her, jumping to his feet.

"Jazz, calm down," she said trying to keep her voice even.

"Don't tell me to calm down," he spat. "You're fucking dating my brother! How long, Bella?"

"Jasper, please. Can we talk about this calmly," she pleaded.

There was no calm for Jasper right now. He felt like he'd been lied to. All the times he'd talked to Edward and he never mentioned Bella. He'd had some suspicions in New York, but Edward had assured him nothing was going on then. When had something started? "Were you fucking him in New York," he asked, his tone bitter and accusatory. "He's a fucking man-whore."

"No, Jasper. There was nothing between us in New York!" Tears stung Bella's eyes as she shouted at him. Part of her had expected this reaction. It was a hard pill to sallow. But she had been hoping for the best.

Jasper took several deep breaths trying to calm himself down. Bella didn't deserved to bear the brunt of his anger. He didn't even really have a right to be angry. But that didn't change the fact that he was. He didn't like the idea that this had been going on behind his back. " I can't talk about this right now," he said through clenched teeth.

Bella nodded.

"I'll talk to you when I calm down," Jasper told her before leaving and slamming the door.

Bella immediately grabbed her phone and dialed Edward's number. She desperately needed to see him.

"Hello Bella," Rosalie answered.

"Where's Edward?" she asked.

"I thought he was with you."

"No. Jasper stopped by so I sent Edward a text telling him not to come yet."

"Well, he left her about an hour ago on his way to your room and he didn't take his phone."

"Now Bella was worried. Edward had never made it to her room. Or if he had, what had he seen? "Are you sure he was coming here?" Bella asked feeling a little frantic.

"Yes. Emmett said Bella's waiting, she wants to talk and Edward practically took off running."

"Fuck! Bella cried. Where the hell did he go? Did the idea of talking freak him out? That didn't sound right. They had deep conversations all the time. It didn't make sense. Had he really entered the room and she hadn't noticed? What did he see that made him want to run away? "I'm gonna go look for him," Bella told Rose.

"Slow down just a second. Emmett and I will help you."

"No, its okay Rose. I have my cell. I'll call you when I find him. He's gotta be around here somewhere," she said hoping she sounded more calm than she felt.

"Alright. If we don't hear from you in 20 minutes we'll call you," Rosalie said sound concerned.

Bella took it to mean that disappearing was out of character for Edward, which made her worry even more. She hastily headed out the door and down the hallway. Something was wrong. The thing with Jasper was forgotten for now and Bella's only concern was finding Edward and making sure everything was alright and fixing whatever wasn't.

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_A/N: Alright, what are you guys thinking?_


	32. Sorry For the Stupid Things

_A/N: Thank you to all my beautiful wonderful reviewers. Once again, this is for you guys!_

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_Sometimes we wish for the better_

_When we have it good as it gets_

_Sometimes the grass isn't greener_

_As soon as we find out, we forget_

_Sometimes a fool doesn't know he's a fool_

_Sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog_

_Sometimes I do stupid things to you_

_When I really don't mean it at all_

_Sometimes a man is gon' be a man_

_Its not an excuse, its just how it is_

_Sometimes a wrong, don't know that they wrong_

_Sometimes the strong, ain't always so strong_

_Sometimes a girl is gon' be a girl_

_She don't want to deal with all the drama in your world_

_God knows I don't mean to give it to you_

_So girl, I'm sorry for the stupid things_

_I wish I didn't do but I do_

_-Sorry For the Stupid Things by Babyface- _

Alice sat in her room crying. She couldn't believe she'd just let Jasper go. After they'd gotten back from Bella's room they were changing to go to dinner. She looked at Jasper and saw the confusion written plain across his face.

And she knew she couldn't hold onto him if he was still so confused. It was unfair to both of them. She thought of the saying "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

So, mustering every bit of calm and composure she had she turned to Jasper and said, "Go to Bella."

He'd stared at her for a long moment before opening his mouth to speak.

"No, Jasper. I know you love me and I know I love you. I know we're supposed to be together. But for some reason you aren't ready to accept us. Go to her. When you're ready I'll be waiting."

He had nodded and then slowly left the room. She was almost positive he'd be back one day, but it still hurt to watch him leave. When he did come back she'd have him to herself. But a part of her wished that she were more selfish. That she had held onto him until he realized his mistake.

Bella had said she was over him. But Alice wondered if she was just saying that for the sake of diffusing an awkward situation. If that was the case, it cold be awhile before he would understand his mistake and they would be together again.

She laid down on the bed and curled into a fetal position. She didn't care that her mascara was running down her face. She didn't even care that she was wrinkling her new Dolce and Gabbana top. And it was cute too. It was black and had a satin bodice and lace sleeves and it tied with a satin ribbon at the neck. But it didn't matter; she didn't care. She just laid there mourning her loss.

-------

Jasper was fuming as he made his way back to his room. He wasn't even really sure why the idea of Bella and Edward bothered him so much. Maybe it was just the fact that they'd been somehow going behind his back.

Then it dawned on him. California. Edward couldn't come to Florida last week because he was going to California. Bella couldn't come last week because a friend was coming to visit her in California. Edward went to California to see Bella.

This face made him see red all over again. Why hadn't either of them said anything? He was sure if Bella had mentioned to Alice she was seeing Edward, Alice would have told him.

Alice. He had to calm down before he went to see her and beg for forgiveness. He stood outside their room taking deep breaths. As he calmed down he became nervous. How would Alice act? She had said she would be waiting, but would she be angry? She had every right to be angry with him.

When he was finally calm he opened the door. The room was dark, but the light from the hall shone in to reveal Alice was lying on the bed in a ball.

"Alice!" he gasped running to her side, everything else forgotten. "Alice," he repeated kneeing beside her.

Alice opened her eyes to see Jasper staring at her, his ice blue eyes panic stricken.

"I'm so sorry, Ali. I'm so sorry," Jasper said not bothering to try and hold back the tears that began to fall. He'd made Alice cry. He was such a fucking idiot. Alice was his everything. Why was he such an asshole?

Alice reached out and cupped his cheek with her hand. "Don't cry, Jasper," she whispered.

She was trying to comfort him. Jasper was appalled at himself. He pulled away from her. "Don't be nice to me, Ali. I don't deserve for you to be nice to me. I don't deserve you. I'm a complete and total fucking asshole. Please forgive me, even though I don't deserve it."

Alice didn't say anything.

"I was wrong. There is nothing between me and Bella. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry I made you cry."

Alice sat up and threw her arms around Jasper's neck. "I knew you'd be back," she whispered. "I knew you were mine."

"Always, baby. I belong to you," Jasper whispered back wrapping his arms around her.

Alice pulled away then, she raised her hand and slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever do that to me again, you asshole!" She told him in a severe voice.

Jasper was a bit shocked, not having expected the slap. But still his actions warranted it. He deserved much worse. And if that was all she was going to give him, he was getting off easy.

"I promise, Ali. There is no one else for me. Only you. I know that know."

"Good," Alice said reaching for him again. "Because if you ever do anything like this to me again, believe me I will make you sorry," she warned. "Now, let's go take a shower and then go to dinner." She gave him a wicked smile.

Jasper smiled back. He couldn't believe how easily Alice had forgiven him.

-------

Edward was glad the hotel they were staying at was on the beach. He ran for about a mile. Before slowing to a walk. He was feeling so many things. Hurt, loss, jealousy, anger. Mostly anger.

But he wasn't sure who to focus his anger on. He wanted to be angry at Jasper, but he couldn't because Jasper had no clue about his relationship with Bella. He wanted to be angry with Bella, but she had never promised him anything. They hadn't ever even really defined their relationship.

He wanted to be angry with Rosalie for being nice for once in her damn life and taking him to California. And he wanted to be angry with himself for trusting a woman with his heart. But that just brought the anger back to Bella and he couldn't be mad at her. So here he was with all of this unjustified anger.

Edward collapsed into the sand and decided to let the hurt and sense of loss overwhelm him. At least this way he didn't feel so fucking angry. Part of his brain was aware that a few people were staring at him. But fuck it, who cared? He was in pain.

He felt like his heart was being squeezed from his chest. He fisted at the sand as the tears began to burn his eyes. He fought them, but only for a brief moment. Then he let them spill over and when he did they fell fast and furious.

How would he live without Bella? It hurt to even think her name. And for the rest of his life he'd be taunted by the fact that she would be with his brother. That she had chosen Jasper over him.

She was the only woman he had ever opened up to and given his whole heart to and she didn't want it. She didn't want him. The thought was nearly killing him.

------

After searching the hotel for Edward, Bella headed outside. She sighed heavily. He could be anywhere by now. For all she knew he'd gotten a cab and was far away by now.

She headed to the beach hoping maybe he was there. She reached the sand and looked up and down the beach. She didn't see him and the coastline stretched for miles and miles in both directions.

But there was no way Bella was stopping until she found Edward. She'd walk the entire coastline if that's what it took. She picked a direction and began walking.

Her cell rang. Rosalie checking in again, every 20 minutes true to her word.

"No sign yet," Bella answered.

"Nothing?"

"If I'd found him I'd tell you," Bella snapped.

"I'm worried alright," Rose snapped back. "It's not like him to just disappear."

"I'm sorry," Bella apologized. "I'm just worried too."

"Well, Emmett went back to you room in case he shows up there. We tried calling Jasper, but there was no answer so we left him a voicemail."

"Okay. Well, let me know if he shows up."

"Yep. I'll call you in 20," Rose said hanging up.

It was starting to get pretty dark out. It was amazing how fast the sun went down. The beach was just about empty now. The dark made Bella feel hopeless. But still she continued down the beach.

She spoke with Rosalie again. Rose was growing more worried with each phone call. Bella told her to stop checking in. She'd call if she found him. But Rose calling every 20 minutes just made them both anxious.

Bella looked up at the sky and heaved another sigh. The moon gave her a small sliver of hope that she'd find Edward tonight. As she refocused her gaze ahead she saw a figure sitting in the sand a little ways in the distance.

Even in the dark she could tell it was Edward.

"Edward!" she called running toward him.

Edward heard her calling his name and he looked up to see Bella running toward him.

"Edward!" she said again breathlessly as she stopped in front of him. "I'm so glad I found you," she said still trying to catch her breath.

Edward didn't move, didn't look up at her.

"Edward," Bella said again dropping to her knees in front of him.

Edward turned his face away from her and said, "Just go away, Bella."

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so what are your thoughts?_

_I'd also like to mention, if you haven't noticed by now the story is starting to wind down. I believe there are probably about 2 maybe 3 more chapters left. _


	33. I Never Knew Love

_A/N: Okay I must say that I adore each and every one of you who has taken the time to read my little story. Thank you, thank you, thank you. If it weren't for you guys this story would have been much different and probably much shorter! _

_

* * *

_

_I've known the hunger before tonight_

_For other loves_

_I've felt the yearning_

_I've felt the fire_

_In their touch_

_But this goes deeper_

_Than anything I've ever known_

_Beyond my heart_

_Clear down to my soul_

_I never knew what beauty could behold_

_Till you looked at me and I could see_

_Forever unfold_

_Oh, you made me whole_

_I never knew love_

_No, I mean real love_

_I never knew that kind of love_

_Till this moment with you_

_Till I was loved by you_

_-I Never Knew Love by Doug Stone-_

Bella stared at him in shock. There was a coldness in his voice that she hadn't even known he was capable. And it hurt. It hurt worse than she could remember anything ever hurting in her entire life. And that was saying a lot.

"I'm serious Bella, just go," he insisted. Edward was desperately trying to mask the hurt in his voice. If she wanted Jasper he'd be damned if he made her feel guilty for it. And right now, if she could see his face, she'd see his red, puffy eyes, his blotchy face and the tears that wouldn't stop coming. He just needed her to leave him alone until he could gather himself. Then she could say what she needed to say and he'd be able to take it like a man.

But Bella was stubborn and she didn't move. He could feel her staring at him. He was sure she could tell he was sitting here feeling sorry for himself. That he was already mourning her loss before it was even official. That she was looking at him with pity in her eyes.

"Bella!" he cried exasperated. Why couldn't she make this easy?

"What the hell, Edward?" Bella shouted at him forcing back the tears that threatened to escape. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting this way? Had he changed his mind about her? The thought threatened to overwhelm her and she silently fought not to collapse completely.

Edward turned to look at her, stunned by her outburst.

Bella gasped as she took in Edward's appearance. He was crying. Why was he crying? "Edward," she said softly, inching closer to him instantly. "Edward, why are you crying?"

The question made Edward cry even harder despite himself. Bella pulled him to her and he rested his head on her shoulder as she stroked his hair. The only thought in her head was to comfort him. She didn't care about anything else in this moment except to make him stop crying. To make the sadness go away. They sat that way until he was able to speak.

Edward sat up straight. "I didn't want to do this like this. I didn't want you to know how much it hurts. But if you want to be with Jasper I can't stop you. And it just hurts."

"I…" Bella began, but Edward cut her off.

"Let me finish, Bella," he said and took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "I want you to be happy, even if you aren't happy with me. But I won't be happy with out you. And I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. Lord knows that's the last thing I want to do.

"But you asked why I'm crying. That's the only reason I'm telling you. The thought of living my life without you is just about killing me. And I don't even care because what kind of life would it be without you anyway?"

"Edward…" Bella interjected.

"Bella, please… I hope Jasper treats you right. I hope that this time he understands how special you are. And how much you deserve. And if he doesn't and he breaks your heart again I'll kick his ass. And then I'll be there to help you pick up the pieces again, if that's what you want.

"I want you to know the week we spent tougher was the best week of my life and will probably always be. I'm just thankful for the little bit of time you gave me." He looked down at the sand.

"Are you finished?" Bella asked.

Edward nodded.

Bella reached up and took Edward's face into her hands. She leaned forward and Edward's eyes closed. Bella kissed both of his eyelids and then swiped the tears from under his eyes with her thumbs.

"Edward, I've been trying to tell you, I don't want anyone but you. Ever," she confessed staring into his deep green eyes.

"But what about… I saw you and Jasper… and he said…"

"Yeah, he did say he thought we made a mistake. And when I was in his arms, at first I thought that maybe he was right. But then your face flashed through my mind and I knew there was no mistake. And then we talked and Jasper realized the same thing." She explained the whole story to him.

"So you and Jasper aren't getting back together?"

"Of course not. I only love you." She blushed as she made this declaration.

Edward smiled as she said. He'd felt it, but neither of them had said it out loud before.

Bella smiled back at him. "I do, Edward, I love you. I know it seems soon, but damn it, I can't control my feelings."

Edward shook his head. "It's not too soon because I love you too." He watched as Bella blushed again. Damn. He loved that too.

They sat completely quiet in the sand. Bella had turned so that her back was against Edward's chest. And he held her tightly, reveling in the fact that she was his. That she loved him and she wanted to be with him. He didn't know what he'd down in his life to deserve someone as amazing as Bella was, but he wasn't going to argue. He didn't want to be anywhere else, but right her with her, his beautiful Bella.

And Bella felt the same. She kept thinking about all the things that had gone wrong in her life, wondering how they had led her here. It was like that country song. _God blessed the broken road…_ she thought. She closed her eyes and savored being here in his arms. Here where things seemed so simple and she felt so safe. She would gladly give up everything to stay in his arms.

Then her cell phone rang interrupting their reverie. She sighed as she looked at the faceplate. It was Rosalie. She answered.

"Bella, I know you said you'd call, but its dark and Emmett was getting really worried about you." Rosalie began before Bella even said hello.

"It's okay. I found him. I'm with him right now."

"You found him! Where at?"

"On the beach." Bella filled her in on the basic details. Rosalie didn't need to know the full story.

"Can I talk to him?" Rose asked.

"Sure. Hold on." Bella held the phone out to Edward. "She wants to talk to you."

Edward knew he was in for it and reluctantly took the phone. He was tempted to toss it into the ocean so that he could be alone with Bella for a while more. But he was sure Bella wouldn't really appreciate that. "Hello," he said cautiously into the phone.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Rosalie barked at him, getting straight to the point. "Do you know how fucking worried we were. We didn't know where the fuck you were or why the fuck you left. What the fuck is wrong with you?" She ranted at him.

When she was finished Edward sighed and said "I'm sorry I worried you, Rose."

"You're damn right you're fucking sorry. Just wait until you get home, mister. This conversation is far from over. And if you think I'm pissed, just wait until Emmett gets a hold of you after making his sister run all over this place looking for your dumb ass."

Edward laughed, "Yes Mom." Although the Emmett threat scared him quite a bit.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Rose barked.

"Bye Rose," Edward said hanging up and handing the phone back to Bella and taking her hand. "Come on let's get back to the hotel," he said standing and pulling Bella with him.

They were soundless for a while as they walked along the moonlit beach hand in hand. And then Edward broke the silence. "When do you want to talk to Jasper?" he asked.

"About that…" Bella began.

Edward began to worry. Had she changed her mind?

"I already told him about us. I'm sorry. It just came out when we were talking."

"What did he say?"

"Well… he was livid. Really, really angry. He accused me of sleeping with you in New York and he called you a man whore. Then he told me he would talk to me when he calmed down. So I guess he took it as could be expected."

"He was that angry?"  
"He exploded," Bella told him.

"I wonder how long it will take him to calm down?"

Bella shrugged. "But Edward, I want you to know that I don't care anymore what he says. I've made my decision and I choose you no matter what."

Edward pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I choose you too, Bella. I just hope it doesn't come to that."

"Me too," she agreed.

They walked the rest of the way to the hotel in complete silence.

---------

Jasper sat across from Alice watching her every move. She was quiet and much more reserved that normal. Usually she'd be talking his ear off, but not tonight. Not that he could blame her. He was just glad he was here with him. But still he couldn't help but worry a little about her. She'd seemed all right in their room.

"You okay, Ali?" he asked. It was a dumb question; he knew that. But he was grasping for anything to pull her closer. Alice was so far away.

"What happened in Bella's room?" was Alice's reply.

Of course that's what she'd been thinking about. He knew they would eventually have to deal with the specifics. He had just hoped they would deal later.

"Um… you really want to talk about his now?" Jasper asked.

"Yes," Alice said. "I'm still very angry with you and if you tell me anything that might make me even more so, well, we're in a public place. That will help me restrain from strangling you should the need arise."

Jasper swallowed and let out a nervous chuckle. He knew nothing like Alice was thinking had happened in Bella's room. He hadn't even made a move on Bella. Other than the hugging, they had just talked. But seeing Alice so angry scared him. She was completely serious.

"Nothing really happened, he said. "We just talked. Bella made me realize I felt guilty for leaving her alone. And then she told me she met someone." Jasper had almost forgotten that part. He felt the anger surging in him again.

"She met someone?" Alice asked, her eyes growing wide.

Jasper nodded.

"Emmett's not her brother?"

"No, Emmett is her brother."

"Why wouldn't she tell me she met someone?" Alice wondered aloud.

"It's Edward."

"Edward! That's fantastic! I knew I saw something between them." Alice took in Jasper's expression. He didn't share her elation. "Jasper…" she said slowly. "What did you say to Bella when she told you?"

Jasper didn't answer.

"You got angry didn't you?"

Jasper looked down.

"Jasper Cullen!" Alice nearly shouted at him. "You need to let her go!"

"I have!" Jasper said immediately. "It has nothing to do with me and Bella. I swear. Nothing. I don't know why I got so angry. It was unjustified. I just hate that essentially I was lied to. You know they couldn't come here last week because they were together."

"She told you that?"

"No, I figured it out on my own. And Edward used Rosalie as a decoy to throw me off the scent. And I already told you that Edward has been with so many girls…"

Alice cut him off. "Jasper stop. Do you honestly think your brother would risk his relationship with you for some random screw?"

Jasper looked at Alice. Once again she was right. He was slowly learning that Alice was always right.

"No," he admitted exhaling loudly. "I still don't like that they went behind my back with the whole thing."

"Maybe they wanted to see if they really had feeling for each other before they brought it up to you. If there was nothing there then they would have gone about their separate ways and they wouldn't have to deal with pointless drama.

"Maybe it would have been better to be upfront, but they didn't want to hurt you needlessly and I think that's pretty nice of them. Especially considering the way we handled things. I mean, Bella knew you were leaving her for me. She could have rubbed her relationship with Edward in your face for revenge. The fact that she didn't is proof enough that what they feel is real."

Jasper looked at Alice for a moment and then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead "Thank you, baby," he said reaching for her hand.

"For what?" Alice asked.

"For putting in my place. You always know how to talk sense into my stupid ass. Just one of the many reasons why I love you."

Alice laughed.

"I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, Jasper." She squeezed his hand. "Now promise me we can put all this Bella drama behind us and enjoy the rest of our vacation."

"I promise." And he was ready. Alice had made him realize that Bella and Edward probably did have real feelings for each other and that in actuality he had no power to stop that.

And he realized himself that maybe he didn't really want to. He had his life now. She sat in front of him, holding his hand and smiling at him. She and Katie were his life, his heart, his soul, his whole reason for existing. He felt it in his bones. And Bella and Edward… they deserved to have their lives too. They were both good people and they deserved good people. He loved and cared about them both.

And he was ready to move on with his life. He was done with the past and he was excited for what the future held.

* * *

_A/N: So that's pretty much it. I have one more chapter planned to kind of tie together loose ends. I do hope that you guys have enjoyed yourselves. You are all so wonderful and all your kind words have really meant so much to me._

_A special thanks to EmmieCullen1095 for influencing the direction of this story more than once. If it weren't for her I think Edward and Bella would have met again at Alice and Jasper's wedding. Rose and Emmett would have been their dates and met then as well. And I probably would have left it at that. But anyway, check out her story My Life As An Army Wife. I couldn't even imagine._

_I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. But I still have to write it so it could be a little while. Just to warn you. I want to make it good and hopefully it will satisfy everyone._

_If you have time go check out Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche. Very good. _


	34. Forever

_A/N: Apologizing in advance for the lenghty authors note. But its my last one. Finally what you've all been waiting for. The final chapter. _

_A few notes. On my profile are a ridiculous amount of links associated with this chapter. I think you shuld check them out because they will help you visualize alot of this better. Especially since I'm kind of bad a describing things. _

_There are several songs that go along with this chapter. They are songs that I listened to while writing and if you listen to them you'll see how they fit. You should check them out:_

_Speechless by The Veronicas_

_I Cross MY Heart by George Strait_

_Brighter Than Sunshine by Auqalung (Bella's ringtone)_

_Then By Brad Paisley_

_Cool by Gwen Stefani _

_Forever by Ben Harper_

_Okay, hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Not talkin' 'bout a year_

_No not three or four_

_I don't want that kind of forever_

_In my life anymore_

_Forever always seems _

_to be around when it begins_

_but forever never seems _

_to be around when it ends_

_So give me your forever_

_Please your forever_

_Not a day less will do From you_

_People spend so much time_

_Every single day_

_Runnin' 'round all over town_

_Givin' their forever away_

_But no not me_

_I won't let my forever roam_

_and now I hope I can find_

_my forever a home_

_So give me your forever_

_Please your forever_

_Not a day less will do_

_From you_

_-Forever by Ben Harper-_

Bella looked in the mirror and studied her reflection. She barely recognized the person staring back. So much had changed since that night in Miami when she'd found Edward on the beach. She had changed so much since that night.

******

Edward and Bella headed back to the hotel and found Jasper. The three of them went to the hotel bar to talk. Bella and Jasper ordered drinks and Edward a soda since he was not yet able to drink legally. And they had a good talk. Bella was so glad that Jasper was no longer angry and that he was willing to try and accept her and Edward's relationship.

Jasper told her, "I truly love Alice. I'd be stupid to mess up what we have."

And Bella agreed. She told him, "You and Alice have something special. And you and I have something special. You are my best friend. I'm really hoping we'll be able to stay friends."

Jasper looked back and forth between Bella and Edward. Would he be able to stay friends with Bella? He mulled it over in his head for a few minutes and then he sighed. He scrubbed his hands over his face and said, "I want to stay friends too. And even though I'm okay with this," he paused and gestured to Edward and then Bella, "it's still going to take some time to get used to it."

Bella nodded and glanced at Edward who hadn't said much the entire conversation.

He was looking at her with a small smile on his face. Then he turned to Jasper. "We understand that, Jazz. But I do want to make it clear to you that if we're not doing this just to spite you. Or even on the off chance that we think there may be something. There is really something here between Bella and me. If there wasn't there is no way in hell either of us would risk our relationship with you.

"You are too important to both of us. So I need you to understand how important Bella is to me. But I do truly hope that nothing changes between you and me. You're my big brother and my best friend as well. I don't want to give that up…"

Edward didn't say it, but the words _but I will if I have to _hung in the air. Jasper nodded, but he didn't take is eyes off the ground.

Edward leaned forward and said, "She is my soul mate Jasper. I can't live without her."

Bella watched Edward whisper to Jasper. She didn't know what he was saying but she saw Jasper nod again and then he stood. She and Edward stood as well. Jasper pulled Edward in for a hug and then Bella.

"You two will be good for each other," he said and then he headed off to find Alice leaving Edward and Bella alone with each other.

Edward took Bella's hand and led her back to her room.

After that the rest of the Miami trip went smoothly. Bella and Edward spent most of their time on the beach, which was quickly becoming one of their favorite places to be. And over the years they would share many romantic moments on beaches around the world.

Jasper met Alice's family. He's been so nervous, afraid that they wouldn't like him. And then what? Could he have a relationship with Alice if her family didn't like him? Alice had assured him that they would love him, if only because she did. But still, Jasper worried.

It turned out his worries had been unfounded. Alice's grandparents adored him and he shared their sentiments. They'd spent the entire day sharing stories about Alice when she was younger with him. They told him all about her globe traveling days searching for something, searching for him and how they were so glad she'd finally found him because they were starting to believe it was all an elaborate excuse to see the world. And they all laughed as Alice pretended to be embarrassed and put out by their stories.

Jasper also found that Alice was a carbon copy personality wise of her grandmother, right done to her positive attitude and her perkiness. They were exactly the same.

When Alice and Jasper left her grandparents made them promise to come back again before they left Florida. And Jasper was actually looking forward to it.

As they drove back to the hotel, Alice found that she loved Jasper even more now. More than she had ever thought was possible. She looked at him and smiled and he smiled back. And she didn't think anything could ever ruin their happiness. She was sure they would have fights through the years, but she knew she'd always look back on this moment and remember how much she loved him and how much he loved her and everything would be all right.

As for Emmett and Rosalie, nobody saw much of them the rest of the trip. They barely came out of their room.

At the end of the week Jasper and Alice went back to New York. Emmett decided to follow Rosalie to South Carolina and Edward went with Bella back to California.

They'd spent a lot of the summer really getting to know each other and it passed more quickly than either of them wanted it to. Edward was tempted to stay in Cali, but Bella convinced him it would be best for him to go back to school.

Edward argued at first, but eventually he gave in and went back to South Carolina. It was an extremely painful separation and it seemed the months crawled by.

Emmett had come back to California to begin with, but ultimately decided that he couldn't be away from Rose. So Bella said goodbye to her big brother, realizing that things between them were changing. They were both in love now. Before Emmett would have never left her alone, but now there was someone else he worried about. And Bella couldn't blame him. She was so happy that he'd found the love of his life. Because Emmett deserved to be happy. And he deserved to have a life outside of her.

But she was lonely. She hadn't been alone in years. She took extra shifts at work to fill the emptiness between classes. She needed something to keep her busy. And the extra shifts gave her extra money, which she put into a savings account so she could move to South Carolina after she graduated in the spring. The thought of being closer to Edward kept her going.

It was so hard to be away from him. They spent a lot of time talking on the phone. She missed him so much and he missed her just as much. Several times he's told her he was coming to California. But she told him it was only a few more months and then she'd be in South Carolina with him.

With Thanksgiving approaching, they had to decide how they were going to spend it. Edward suggested they go to New York with his family.

But Bella was worried it was too soon and it would be awkward.

"My family loves you, Bella." Edward said.

"That was before I brother swapped. You have no idea how they truly feel about me now,' she argued.

"I do. They love you."

"It's too soon, Edward. I can't face your family yet. But you should definitely still go."

"I'm not going without you. I miss you and I want to see you."

"I miss you too. But you need to go see your family. You haven't seen them in awhile. And I don't want them to think you choose me over them."

"Did you fight like this with Jasper when he stayed home from holidays with you."

Bella sighed. She had argued with Jasper and she hated that Edward brought it up. "Yes, I tried to convince him to go, but he was stubborn and wouldn't go."

"Did you know that I'm known for being more stubborn than he is?"

Bella sighed again. "Edward, you need to see your family."

"Bella, I know what I need. And it most definitely is not to see my family. I need to see you. I'm coming to California, end of discussion."

And that was the end. Edward wasn't giving in and Bella didn't want to fight with him anymore.

And so Edward came to California for Thanksgiving. Bella cooked a small meal for the two of them and they'd spent the long weekend wrapped in each other's arms.

Of course Sunday morning came to fast and neither of them wanted to leave the other. And Bella admitted to herself that this was the real reason she hadn't want to spend Thanksgiving with Edward, saying goodbye hurt too much. It hurt when he wasn't with her, but it hurt that much more when he was and then had to leave.

They waited until the last possible minute to head to the airport. If they had waited even a second longer, Edward probably would have missed his flight. And Bella had a feeling Edward wouldn't have minded.

Really, what would be so bad if he had? Then she told herself that was selfish and that Edward had to get back to school. And so they said goodbye and Bella went home and cried herself to sleep.

Alice and Jasper decided that they were going to have their own Thanksgiving with Katie. Alice felt almost like she was playing house. It didn't seem real to her that she could have everything she'd ever dreamed of. All the searching she had done was finally over. And she was so happy that she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

Of course she hadn't dreamed about the part where she forgot she was cooking a turkey and it was so dry it was barely edible. But she and Jasper just laughed about it and then headed over to his parents house to eat their leftovers.

Esme and Carlisle were happy to have the company. They hadn't liked that both of their sons had decided to spend Thanksgiving elsewhere. Although they did understand it. It brought back memories from when they first fell in love.

Christmas came soon after and Bella still wasn't ready to see Jasper and the rest of the Cullens. But she decided that Edward needed to see his family. They'd had a very long and heated discussion about it and this time Bella won. She told Edward she'd be spending the holiday with her brother. Which was true. Emmett was going to meet the Hales for the first time and Rosalie had invited Bella to come along, knowing how much she missed her brother.

There was also another reason why Emmett and Rosalie wanted Bella there for Christmas dinner. The two of them announced their engagement. And as Emmett's only family member of importance, he wanted her to be there. Bella nearly choked on her food as Rosalie said "Mom, Dad, Bella, we're getting married!" She held her hand out to show off her ring. It wasn't very big, considering Emmett didn't have much money, but it was absolutely beautiful all the same.

Bella hadn't realized they were so serious about each other. And even though she knew Emmett would still be there for her whenever she needed him she felt like she was losing him. But she swallowed the thought and smiled, standing to hug and congratulate the happy couple. Then, of course she started to miss Edward even more. And she wished she had just sucked it up and gone to New York with him.

Later, sitting on the Hales couch with Emmett and Rosalie, Bella's cell phone rang.

"What a feeling in my soul. Love burns brighter than sunshine, brighter than sunshine. Let the rain fall, I don't care. I'm yours and suddenly you are mine. Suddenly you are mine and it's brighter than sunshine."

"It's about time you changed your ring tone," Emmett said as Bella answered her phone.

It was Edward. How she missed him.

"Merry Christmas, Love." Edward said.

"It would be much more merry if I were with you."

"That it would be," he agreed. And then he sighed. "So, what are you doing?"

"I'm still at Rosalie's. They announced their engagement."

"They what!" Edward was shocked.

"Emmett and Rosalie are engaged," Bella told him.

"I never thought Rose was interested in marriage," he said more to himself than to her. "She most really love Emmett."

"I believe she does. And Emmett really loves her too," she said. And her voice was wistful. Emmett and Rose were together on Christmas. She and Edward were hundreds of miles apart.

"I miss you," he said as if reading her mind.

"I miss you too."

"Listen, I'll let you go since you're still at Rose's. Call me when you get home. I love you."

"Alright. I love you too." And she hung up. She was upset that he didn't want to stay on the phone. But she knew that was irrational. She was being rude by staying on the phone.

Bella spent another hour with the happy couple and then said goodbye. She dragged herself to her truck feeling worse now then when the day started. She was depressed and she missed Edward madly. On the way home she decided in the morning she was going to buy a ticket to New York so she could at least spend New Year's with him.

She pulled up to her apartment feeling slightly less depressed now that she had a plan of action. As she walked toward her apartment a figure on the porch caught her eye. She cursed herself as she remembered the pepper spray Emmett had given her before he moved to South Carolina was lying unopened in her closet.

She stood on the walk debating whether to go forward or turn and run back to her truck when the figure spotted her.

"Bella!" the figure called.

It sounded like Edward. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Was it really Edward? Bella looked at him. It was Edward! Then she felt foolish for not immediately recognizing the love of her life. She ran to him where he stood with his arms open and jumped into them. She covered his face with kisses.

"When did you get here?" she asked between kisses.

"I've been her about three hours," he answered before kissing her back.

"Why didn't you say something when we were on the phone?" she asked as she led him inside.

"I wanted to surprise you. I woke up this morning and realized I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. My parents understood and I was on the next plane out here."

"I was going to buy a ticket to New York in the morning," Bella told him as she pushed him down on the couch.

"I can't leave you again, Bella. You know that, right? I have to be with you always."

"Okay," she simply said as she crawled into his lap.

"Promise you won't make me leave again."

And even though she knew it was incredibly selfish of her, she promised him without hesitation. She couldn't be away from him either.

A month later Bella was cooking dinner for her and Edward when she got a phone call from Jasper. It had been such a long time since she'd spoken to him and if she was honest, she really missed him.

"Hey, Bells," he said.

"Hey, Jazz," she said back. "What's going on?"

"Um… I'm actually calling because I wanted you to be the first to know. And I wanted to tell you myself… I'm going to ask Alice to marry me."

Bella was silent as she processed the information. And then she said, "Oh, Jazzy! I'm so happy for you."

Jasper let out a breath and a chuckle. "I'm glad."

"You were worried I'd be upset?"

"No…maybe… a little," he said.

Bella smiled. "Jasper you are amazing. Alice is amazing. You guys will be amazing." And she meant it.

"I know."

The two of them talked a while about how he planned to propose and what he had been up to. Jasper was having his own gallery opening next month. That was when he planned to pop the question.

"I don't want it to be cheesy and I also don't want to pressure her into saying yes, so I don't plan to make a big public display. But I'm going to ask her later that night, after everyone goes home."

"That's sweet, Jasper." Bella honestly didn't think Alice would mind a big public display or that it would pressure her into saying yes, but she didn't say that.

After they finished talking about that, they talked about Bella and Edward's plans to travel the globe.

"We want to go see the beaches of the world," Bella said.

"That's funny," Jasper said. "I never pictured either of you as the traveling beach bum type."

"Guess we bring that out in each other," Bella laughed.

Jasper laughed too. "You make each other beach bums! How romantic."

They chatted for a while longer and then they said goodbye. It had been so nice talking to Jasper again. It had been far too long and she truly missed talking to him like that. It was so easy, so carefree and she was glad that all the weirdness between them had faded.

"Alice, you look amazing," Jasper said.

"Thank you," Alice said doing a little spin. It had taken her almost a month to find the dress. It was a black strapless number with a rouched bodice and a flapper skirt. It has a black satin belt with a crystal that added just the right amount of glitz. She wore a crystal brooch in her hair to match the belt and a diamond bracelet. "You look pretty good yourself," she said reaching for him and standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Jasper was wearing a pair of dark wash blue jeans, with a brown and blue checked shirt. Over the shirt he had a brown leather vest and then a black pinstriped suit jacket over that. His curly hair was tousled and he looked devastatingly handsome.

The two of them left for his gallery opening. Jasper was nervous and so he was relatively quiet all evening. Alice assumed he was nervous about the opening. But as the night wore on and things went smoothly he didn't get any less nervous and Alice began to worry a little.

"Jasper, are you okay?" she asked when she was able to get him alone. People loved his art and he'd been in high demand all night long. Now the gallery was starting to empty a little, so she was able to steal a few minutes of his time.

"Yeah," Jasper answered. "I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Fine." Alice said. Her worry had not been eased.

"Um… Alice, can we go outside and talk for a minute?"

"Sure," Alice said, her heart beating a million miles a minute. She immediately began to think of worst-case scenarios.

Jasper took her hand and led her outside. It was still cold outside being that it was only early March. Alice wrapped her arms around herself as Jasper took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders.

Alice watched as Jasper dropped down to one knee and she gasped. This she had not been expecting.

"Alice Brandon, will you marry me?" he asked pulling a little blue box from his pants pocket. It was the ring of Alice's dreams. A Tiffany Legacy with graduated side stones. She stared at the ring and then looked at Jasper who looked a little worried.

Alice realized she hadn't answered him yet. She tried to say yes, but nothing would come out so instead she nodded her head. Jasper jumped up and wrapped his arms around her. When he let go he slid the ring on her finger.

Finally Alice was able to speak. "I love you so much, Jazzy." Her voice came out whispery and shaky as she was crying.

"I love you too, baby." And Alice was surprised to find that Jasper was crying too.

"Jasper, why are you crying?" she asked softly.

Jasper pulled back and looked at her. "I'm so glad you said yes. For a moment I thought you'd say no."

Alice threw herself back into Jasper's arms. It was a place she wanted to stay forever.

Over the summer Bella and Edward stood up in both Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper and Alice's wedding.

Rose and Emmett married in early June. They decided to have the wedding and the reception at the Compass Rose Gardens in Bodega Bay California. Bella and Edward worked with Rose to plan the wedding. Emmett loved that Bella and Rosalie were becoming close.

Bella even helped Rose pick out her wedding dress. They chose a strapless floor length, white ball gown that had rose-colored flowers and beads on the bodice and along the back of the dress. And Rosalie decided on tea length strapless dresses for the bridesmaids. They were rose-colored with white trim on the bottom. They were the perfect compliment to Rosalie's show-stopping dress and she was guaranteed to be the center of attention.

Rosalie's parents spared no expense for their only daughters wedding. It was a huge affair with hundreds of guests, a beautiful ceremony, a live band and amazing food. The cake was a beautiful monstrosity, six tiers of pink and white cake. That thing itself easily surpassed 2 grand.

And though Bella never thought she was the type to cry at a wedding, she was a blubbering mess as Rosalie and Emmett exchanged vows. At one point Rosalie looked at her and told her to pull it together.

At the reception Emmett and Rosalie shared their first dance to "I Cross My Heart" by George Strait.

_Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start. _

_I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart. _

_From here on after let's stay the way we are right now, _

_And share all the love and laughter _

_That a lifetime will allow. _

_I cross my heart and promise to _

_Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. _

_In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine. _

_You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete, _

_And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet. _

_As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see, _

_So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be. _

_I cross my heart and promise to _

_Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. _

_In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine. _

_And if along the way we find a day it starts to storm, _

_You've got the promise of my love to keep you warm. _

_In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine, _

_A love as true as mine._

Bella smiled as she watched them sway slowly to the music. Deep down Emmett was just a simple country boy. He and Rosalie were such an odd couple, but somehow they complimented each other perfectly.

Bella caught Rosalie's pink rose and white lily bouquet without even trying. She guessed Rose had snuck a peak at where she was and tossed it straight to her. Numerous times during the wedding planning Rosalie had mentioned how she thought Bella and Edward should also get married.

The party lasted until the early morning hours. Rosalie and Emmett finally bowed out a little after 3 am and Bella and Edward followed shortly after.

Bella sighed as she leaned curled into Edward on the couch.

"You okay?" Edward asked.

"Rosalie was beautiful tonight. Everything was so beautiful," Bella said closing her eyes.

"Yes, it was." Edward leaned over and kissed Bella's eyelids.

"Edward…"

"Yes, love?"

"I love you," Bella whispered.

"I love you too," he replied. Those three words could barely describe the way he felt about her. He was good with words and still couldn't find words that were adequate. He hoped she knew how much he really did love her and care for her.

Between the weddings Bella and Edward decided to make good on their plans to travel. Edward had a gigantic trust fund and though Bella felt guilty about using the money, Edward insisted.

They first traveled to Mexico, Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, spending several weeks in each place. They spent hours on the beach in each other's arms, playing music, talking, laughing or just watching the sunset or the sunrise depending which time of the day it was.

Bella's favorite thing about the trips was that she was alone with Edward. There was nobody but the two of them. When they were sitting on the beach with Edward's guitar playing music and singing and laughing, Bella was reminded of that first night in Edward's bedroom. The then unexplored sexual tension, the start of their relationship. At the point in time she didn't dare imagine what life with Edward would be like. But now that she was experiencing it first hand, she was unsure how she had ever lived without him.

Alice and Jasper had their wedding in late September at The Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers. It was quite a bit smaller than Rose and Emmett's wedding, but no less extravagant. Alice picked two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception. Her actually wedding dress was a mermaid style with short sleeves, a high beaded waistline with beading and eyelet lace. It fit her perfectly.

Alice decided her colors would be sunrise and royal red. Although Bella insisted on saying orange and red instead. Alice figured she did it to just get a rise out of her. As time went on she got better at just ignoring Bella when she did it.

Alice asked Bella to be her maid of honor and she had two bridesmaids, Bree and Maggie. Alice had the idea that Bree and Maggie would wear royal tea length, strapless, princess line, taffeta dress with a sunrise sash and that Bella's would be the opposite; a sunrise dress with a royal red sash. Bella complained a little about having to wear and orange dress and being the only one to wear it. But she sucked it up and wore it dutifully.

Little Kate was the flower girl and every one thought she looked so adorable in her jewel neck dress with puff sleeves. Originally Alice was going to have Katie's dress match Bella's but because Bella complained about wearing orange, Alice decided it would be funny if Bella was the only one wearing it. So Katie's dress matched Bree and Maggie's.

Once again Bella caught the bride's bouquet without trying. In fact when Alice threw the bouquet all the other woman stepped back and the orange and red cascading flowers smacked Bella right in the face. Alice thought it was hilarious and it took several minutes for her to catch her breath.

The cake was gorgeous and delicious. It was a 4 tiered cake with orange fondant and beige scrolls. It was topped with orange, red, pink and yellow flowers. It almost looked fake it was so beautiful.

The reception was a blast. Jasper had always known how to throw a party and with Alice's help it was the party of the year. Alice had change into her second wedding dress, a short chantilly lace dress with a sweetheart neckline and a full skirt.

Alice and Jasper danced their first dance to "Then" by Brad Paisley. Alice wrapped her arms tight around Jaspers neck and rested her head on his chest. She was now Mrs. Jasper Cullen and she was so excited she couldn't hide it. She could barely contain it. She listened to his steady heart beating with a smile so wide her cheeks hurt. But she didn't care. She was so happy.

Jasper put his arms around Alice's waist and lifted her so she was standing on his feet. Their height difference made slow dancing difficult, but not impossible. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't describe the way he felt now, like his life had just begun. Actually the song described it perfectly.

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you

_You had me mezmorized_

_And three weeks later, in the front porch light_

_taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight_

_I hadn't told you yet_

_but I thought I loved you then_

_And now you're my whole life_

_now you're my whole world_

_I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl_

_Like a river meets the sea, _

_stronger than it's ever been._

_We've come so far since that day_

_And I thought I loved you then_

_And i remember, taking you back to right where I first met you,_

_You were so surprised_

_There were people around, but I didn't care_

_Got down on one knee right there once again,_

_I thought I loved you then_

_And now you're my whole life_

_now you're my whole world_

_I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl_

_Like a river meets the sea, _

_stronger than it's ever been._

_We've come so far since that day_

_And I thought I loved you then_

_I could just see you, with a baby on the way_

_And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray_

_What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more_

_But I've said that before_

_And now you're my whole life_

_now you're my whole world_

_I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl_

_We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in_

_And I'll look at you and say_

_And I thought I loved you then_

_And I thought I loved you then_

Just when it seemed he couldn't love her anymore, he did.

After Alice and Jasper's wedding Bella and Edward stayed mainly in New York for a few months. They only took occasional trips. They traveled to Boston to go whale watching. They went to Niagara Falls because Bella had never been. But mostly they spent time with Edward's family.

Bella got to know the Cullens and they got to know her. Esme was amazing treated her like she was her own daughter. And Carlisle was incredible and quite possibly the kindest person she'd ever met. And Bella felt silly for ever thinking she should avoid them. They were wonderful people.

Bella and Esme spent a lot of time in the kitchen cooking and baking. Bella loved the Cullens kitchen and she loved spending time with Esme. Bella spent time with Carlisle in his study discussing politics, religion and life in general. She spent time with Alice shopping and with Jasper just goofing off and watching him paint. And of course she spent lots of time with Edward.

But the more time she spent with the Cullens the more she missed her own family. She missed her father and the way they used to sit in the living room together. She would be reading and he would be watching the television. They would sit quietly together, nothing needing to be said. They both enjoyed the silence. She missed him so much.

Bella missed Emmett. She'd been used to not having him around and then suddenly he was in her everyday life again. And she had loved having him around. But just as quickly he was gone. He and Rosalie had moved to Albany, Georgia and bought an auto shop. Bella knew Emmett would be there if she ever needed him and that he was only a phone call away. But somehow it wasn't the same.

And Bella missed her mother. She had never stopped missing her mother. But most of the time she wasn't willing to admit that she did. It still cut her deep that her mother chose Phil's side over hers. Bella remembered the good times they used to have. Renee was always more like a friend than a parental figure. She remembered the time Renee decided to paint the kitchen a bright sunshine yellow and she had allowed Emmett and Bella to help. There was paint everywhere, most of it from Renee herself starting paint wars. Bella genuinely missed her mother's infectious laugh and her childlike nature.

Edward knew that Bella missed her mother. He knew it without having to even ask. There was wistfulness in her voice whenever she spoke of Renee. He'd mentioned several times that maybe they should take a trip to see Renee, Bella always shot him down and said she had no desire to see her mother. Edward knew that was a lie, but he never pushed Bella. He had learned many times that she was stubborn and she only did the things she wanted to do.

In December Alice found out she was pregnant. She was excited, but nervous because she and Jasper hadn't really talked about having kids. She wasn't sure if Jasper really wanted anymore. They already had Katie.

She decided she was going to cook a special dinner and break the news after she warmed him up a little. She cooked his favorite, beef pasta with tomato-spinach and cheese. She wasn't so crazy about it, but Jasper's mom used to make it for him all the time so she figured she'd make it for him as well.

She went to the store to buy a new outfit and candles. She wanted to look good. And she really hoped that Jasper would be okay with the pregnancy.

Jasper climbed the stairs two at a time. He had some exciting news to share with Alice. He had been commissioned by an elementary school to paint a mural in the cafeteria. And the job paid pretty well. Not that they were in need of money. He still had his trust fund money, but he preferred not to use that unless he had to.

When he got to the front door he could smell that Alice was cooking his favorite dinner. She must have news of her own. Maybe she got the internship at Vogue like she had wanted. That would be amazing.

"Honey, I'm home!" he called as he walked through the door.

Alice came out of the kitchen. She was positively glowing, must've gotten the internship. "Hey, Jazzy. I made your favorite."

"I know. It smells amazing. I can't wait to dig in. And I've got some exciting news for you," he said tossing his duffel bag to the couch.

"And I have some news for you too," Alice said softly.

"You first," Jasper said.

"No, its okay, I'll wait. Tell me yours first."

"Okay." Jasper crossed the room and wrapped his arms around his wife. He pulled her in for a slow deep kiss and then said, "Briarwood Elementary hired me to paint a mural in their cafeteria."

"Oh Jasper!" Alice said bouncing up and down. "Congratulations! That's wonderful! I'm so proud of you!" She jumped into his arms covered jaw with kissed.

"Thank you, thank you." Jasper said lifting Alice in his arms so he could kiss her again without bending over. "I must say, Ali, everything is so perfect right now."

Alice's face fell. "Yes," was her only reply.

"Alice, are you okay?" Jasper asked, immediately alarmed. He set her back down on the floor.

"Yes, everything's fine. I just… dinner's done. Let's eat and I'll tell you."

Jasper was a little scared and extremely worried. Alice was not acting like Alice.

Jasper sat down at the table and Alice put 2 plates on the table and then sat as well.

"Ali, baby, tell me what's wrong," Jasper pleaded. He couldn't take the suspense. And he wanted to be able to fix whatever was wrong and make Alice smile again.

Alice looked down at her plate and pushed her food around with her fork. "Jasper, I'm pregnant," she said.

She was so quiet Jasper didn't hear her. "What?"

"I'm sorry," she said, "I don't know what happened. I've been taking my birth control every day. I haven't missed a day or anything. I don't know how this could have happened. I'm so sorry."

"Wait, you're pregnant?" Jasper said finally catching what she was telling him.

Alice nodded.

"Why are you apologizing? You don't want a baby?"

"I do," Alice said. "I thought you didn't."

"I do. Oh, Alice I think it's wonderful! I'm gonna be a dad! Again! Why would you think I wouldn't be happy?"

"We never really talked about it and you said everything was perfect."

"Yes and now its even more perfect. Come her baby." He held out his arms for her and she got up and then sat down in his lap. She felt silly for thinking he wouldn't be happy.

"I love you, Jasper Cullen."

"And I love you Alice Cullen. More than you'll ever know." He held her there and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't wait to share the news with his family.

Once Alice and Jasper told his parents, they told Bella and Edward. And almost immediately Alice began dragging Bella around to do baby shopping. Jasper and Edward began looking for a bigger place. The little two bedroom apartment would soon no longer be big enough.

One day while Alice and Bella were looking at cribs Bella's cell phone rang.

It was Emmett.

"Hey Bells!"

"Em, what's going on?"

"I have some huge news."

"Okay…"

"Rosie's pregnant!"

"What! Oh my God! You're gonna be a dad!" Bella shouted. "Wait, that means I'm gonna be an aunt!"

Emmett laughed. "Yep.

"Tell Rose I said congratulations!"

"I will."

When Bella hung up with Emmett she looked Alice who looked even more excited.

"Come on Bella, we have two babies to shop for now!" She grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her through the store.

Soon Edward and Bella began planning a spring to Europe. They each compiled a list of the places they wanted to see and then they worked out a loose itinerary. Edward's idea. He hated to travel without some form of schedule. Bella didn't care much for schedule's. But she was okay with having a basic idea of what they were doing.

The two of them decided they were going to go to England, Spain, Germany, France, The Netherlands, Switzerland, Greece and Italy. It was the biggest, longest trip they had taken yet.

In England, their first stop, Edward ended up ditching the itinerary. He decided they were going to be spontaneous. And they had a blast and it worked out for them. Bella loved London. But even more she loved the English countryside and the castles, real life castles. And of course they spent time on some of England's most beautiful beaches.

They hit Spain next. They went to Barcelona, Cordoba, and Ronda. They visited art museums and of course the beautiful Spanish beaches as well.

Next on the list was France. When they climbed the Eiffel Tower Bella made Edward hold her close to him. She was afraid of falling from it. But she thought it was gorgeous.

They saw Notre Dame Cathedral and the Palace of Versailles. They went to the Louvre. Edward told her that it was Jasper's favorite museum in the world. When they came to Europe as children their parents had to drag him out. He hadn't wanted to leave.

"And what place did they have to drag you out of?"

"Disneyland." Edward said with a smile.

"Disneyland? Really?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes, actually. It is a little," Bella replied.

"I loved the atmosphere, the music, the different lands. I was in awe of it."

Bella smiled. "We should go there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And so they went to Disneyland Paris. And then they went to Normandy. And of course they hit the world famous French Riviera.

Next was the Netherlands. Edward loved the picturesque little country. After that they went to Germany. They saw the Neuschwanstein Castle, Berlin, Heidelberg, The Black Forest and Berlin.

The most depressing part of their trip was to the concentration camps. They saw Dachau first. And though it was extremely hard to see, Bella and Edward decided a trip to Europe wouldn't be complete without also traveling to Poland to see Auschwitz. Those days were truly sobering days. They made Bella thankful for everything she had. They really put her life in perspective.

After visiting Auschwitz Bella decided she was going to try and patch things up with her mother.

"I think I should at least try," she told Edward.

"I agree. A lot of time has passed since you saw her. Maybe she's had time to put things in perspective too."

"Maybe… I hope so."

"So do I."

After that they headed to Greece. There was so much history. Bella vaguely recalled some of them from her high school history classes. Of course Edward remembered it all and he was able to tell her about different buildings and Greek myths and such. And of course they visited the beautiful beaches there as well. So far, they were Bella's favorite beaches.

The last place they stopped was Italy. They spent the most time in Italy. They saw Rome, Milan, Capri, Pompeii, Vesuvius, Naples, Venice, Tuscany, Florence, and Sicily. They agreed Italy was there favorite overall. There was just the right amount of history and beauty. And the weather cooperated perfectly.

The very last place they visited, the day before they headed back to New York was Isola Bella, Beautiful Island. And really it was beautiful. The waters were so blue.

Edward and Bella were laughing and joking around having a good time, enjoying themselves on the less crowded side of the island. Suddenly Edward grew very serious.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Nothing's wrong, Love," Edward said.

Bella looked at him. She was a little worried. She was sure he wouldn't dump her in Italy. He's at least wait until they got home. But maybe it was something else. Maybe he'd brought her to Europe to tell her he was dying. Her mind raced with a million possibilities, all of them awful.

Bella began to hyperventilate.

"Bella," Edward said, "calm down, baby. Nothing's wrong, trust me."

She put her hand to her chest and took deep breaths trying to slow her heart.

Edward was nervous, but he realized his behavior was obviously making Bella nervous too. "You know I love you right?" he asked, hoping she did know.

Bella nodded. She did. In the beginning she'd always been worried that it was impossible for him to love her. One day he'd realize he was to good for her and he was settling. But Edward had since convinced her otherwise. For some reason he loved her the same way she loved him, unconditionally and irrevocably.

"More than my own life," Edward said taking her hand. "I know maybe this is completely cheesy and cliché, but Bella Swan, will you make me the happiest man in the entire universe and spend the rest of your life with me?" he asked pulling a box from his pocket. "Will you marry me?" He opened the box and Bella looked down at the gorgeous ring. It was platinum with a round center stone with pave setting.

She gasped. She honestly hadn't been expecting it. There were no words as tears flowed freely and she nodded.

Edward smiled as he put the ring on her finger and pulled her close.

Bella closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. She had never imagined she could be this happy. It was like that Rascal Flatts song "God Blessed the Broken Road". God truly had blessed the broken road that led her straight to Edward.

They headed home just in time for Alice and Jasper's baby to be born. A beautiful little boy they named Jacob. He had a mess of black hair like his mother's and ice blue eyes like his father. He was 19in and 7lbs, 7ozs. He was absolutely gorgeous.

Bella and Edward decided to keep their engagement a secret for a little while so as not to steal Alice and Jasper's thunder.

Soon after Jacob was born Bella and Edward headed to Albany to be there when Rosalie and Emmett's baby was born. And they only lived about 35 minutes from Newton where Bella's mother still resided.

They got to Albany just one day before Rose went into labor. She had a little girl she and Emmett named Charlotte. She had very light blonde hair and brown eyes. Completely adorable. She was 20 in and 7lbs, 9oz.

Bella and Edward spent a few days visiting with Emmett and Rose and the new baby before breaking their news.

Emmett looked Edward up and down like maybe he was going to beat him and then suddenly pulled him in for a great big bear hug surprising everyone in the room.  
"You make my sister happy," Emmett said. "I haven't seen her this happy since before my dad died."

Bella blushed, as did Edward. "She makes me very happy as well," Edward said softly.

"Congrats, guys," Rosalie said. "I can't believe Edward Cullen is getting married."

"I could say the same about Rosalie Hale. Never thought it would happen," Edward told her.

"I know. Who would have thought we would ever settle down?" she said hugging him.

Edward let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess you just know when it's too good to let go," he said in reply as he looked at Bella.

Rosalie glance at Emmett and said "Amen."

"I can't believe my baby sister is getting married," Emmett said.

"Yeah well, I'm not a baby anymore," Bella said.

"I know," he replied putting his arms around his sister, "you're all grown up now."

After a few more days Bella and Edward said goodbye to Rose and Emmett, promising to call and visit again and they headed for Newton.

Bella was extremely nervous. She fidgeted in the front seat of Edward's Volvo as he steered down the street she'd grown up on.

"It's going to be okay, love," Edward said, his voice soothing. "No matter what happens, I'll always be by your side."

Bella nodded. She knew he would be. She wasn't worried about that. But sitting in the driveway, looking at the place where her nightmares had happened, she once again felt like the scared lost little girl she had been so many years ago.

But when Edward held her hand she knew she wasn't that little girl anymore. She didn't need anything but Edward.

But it still hurt when her mother slammed the door in her face. And Bella still cried.

Edward got Bella in the car and drove away quickly. He wanted to go back to the house and tear Renee apart for treating Bella that way. But he couldn't. So instead he pulled over in a parking lot and pulled Bella into his arms and let her cry.

Eventually Bella's sobbing turned to sniffles and then she stopped crying altogether. "I'm still glad we came," she told him, her voice rough from crying. "It makes me appreciate what I have that much more."

Edward stroked her cheek. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Bella thought about this for a moment. Then she nodded. "Yes, of course. I have you and Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper."

"And my parents," Edward reminded her.

"Yes, and you're parents," she said with a nod. "I'm sad my mother won't be a part of my wedding, that she she won't be in my life, but why should I want her to be a part of my life if she doesn't want too."

"You're strong, Bella. I hope you realize that."

Bella just looked at him for a moment and then she kissed him. He was her life now and nothing else mattered. Nothing.

They left that night for New York to break the news of their engagement to everyone else.

Edward's parents were very happy for them. Esme kept saying how she went from having two wonderful sons to having two wonderful sons and two wonderful daughters.

In the months that followed Bella, Esme and Alice planned the wedding with long distance help from Rosalie. Bella and Edward decided they wanted to have their wedding on the same beach in California where they had their first date.

Alice was worried about getting sand all over Bella's dress so Edward came up with the idea to have a giant platform built that could be easily assembled and disassembled so that they wouldn't have to worry about sand during the wedding, but it could be taken down for the reception. Bella could get two dresses like Alice did.

Bella thought she probably didn't need to dresses, that she could just get a short dress and they wouldn't have to do the platform, but Alice insisted she was wearing heels and that it was hard to walk in heels on the sand. So the platform idea was in.

Alice begged Bella to let her pick out the dress used for the ceremony. Bella was a little weary, but eventually consented. Alice picked a dress by Maggie Sottero. It had a beaded rouched taffeta halter bodice and a gathered train with a bubble hem. Bella thought it was beautiful but over the top for a beach wedding. But Alice insisted it was perfect.

The second dress was a short organza strapless dress with biased bands and a satin belt. Bella liked it. She didn't think it was simple enough but it looked good on her and it felt comfortable. And that was important because at the reception she just wanted to concentrate on Edward.

She chose hunter green as her wedding color because it reminded her of Edward's eyes. And she decided that Alice and Rosalie could pick their own dresses as long as the color matched. They both chose strapless, matte satin, cocktail length dresses. Alice's had a tiered skirt with a belt that had a chiffon flower on it. Rosalie's was very simple. It had a matching belt with a rhinestone belt buckle and a wide hem. Bella and Edward both thought the dresses were perfect.

Edward had a trellis built over the alter and they decorated with daisies and stargazer lilies. The lilies were Bella's favorite flower so he made sure to include them.

It was a busy couple of months. And Bella was thankful to have the help that she did. She loved her new family very, very much.

*****

Bella was startled as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Jasper standing behind her.

"You look beautiful," Jasper said.

"Thanks," Bella said resting her hand on top of his.

"Are you nervous?"  
"A little," she admitted. "Mostly about falling on my face in these heels."

Jasper laughed. And then he asked "Are you happy?"

Bella answered without hesitation, "I've never been happier in my entire life. With Edward I feel like I am finally whole, like that piece to the puzzle was finally found. Or… it's hard to describe. I feel like I can finally be free, like I don't have to hide. I can finally be myself. I'm seeing myself for the first time in so long and I realize how much I missed me, you know?"

Jasper was quiet for a moment and then he said, "Yeah, I do. I feel the same way with Alice. Like when I'm away from her a part of me is missing, like when I'm with her I don't even recognize the person I was without her and for that I'm glad."

"Exactly," Bella said smiling up at Jasper.

Emmett poked his head into the tent. "It's almost time guys."

"Thanks, Em," Bella said.

Jasper leaned down and kissed Bella's cheek as she squeezed her hand.

"Edward is very lucky," he said.

"As is Alice," Bella said as Jasper headed for the door.

"It's time!" Alice said rushing in for a last minute check of Bella's hair, makeup and dress.

Bella took a deep breath as she took Emmett's arm and headed to the aisle. At first, as she made her way to the alter she was watching her feet so as not to trip in her gown. But when she looked up and caught Edward's eye, she was no longer worried about tripping.

Edward was smiling at her with the gorgeous crooked grin of his that she loved so very much. She smiled back. She'd never felt so right in her entire life. And she couldn't wait for their forever to begin.

_Like a handless clock with numbers_

_An infinite of time _

_No not the forever found _

_Only in the mind_

_Forever always seems _

_to be around when things begin_

_but forever never seems _

_to be around when things end_

_So give me your forever_

_Please your forever_

_Not a day less will do_

_From you_

_

* * *

_

A/N: So I really hope you guys enjoyed the story. I hope that you all are satisfied with the ending and that it gives you closure. I worked really hard on this chapter, writing and rewriting til I got it at least semi decent.

Thank you so much to all of you who have stuck with me through this story. All of your comments and ideas were greatly appreciated. I must say that although I am glad to finally be done with this story (it was probably one of the harder things for me to write and also one of the happiest. Most things I write someone tends to die.) I am also very sad to be leaving it behind. For the most part I enjoyed working on this and I really did love hearing from you guys and what you had to say.

It is for all of you that this story was longer than originally planned, and it is for you that it is finished and not left just hanging. Thank you again so much from the bottom of my heart.

And for the last time, let me know what you're thinking.


	35. Bonus: Behind the Facade Playlist

I think I said once before that music really inspires me. And so I thought I'd share the full list of songs that inspired me for Behind the Facade. Some part of each of these songs touched me and made part of this story possible.

Behind the Facade playlist:

1. Home by Blake Shelton

2. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue

3. Weird by Hanson

4. I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

5. Sorry - Buckcherry

6. Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

7. Judas - Kelly Clarkson

8. Sweetest Perfection - Depeche Mode

9. Shadows of the Night - Pat Benetar

10. I Think You're Hiding Something - Jesse Harris

11. Give Unto Me - Evanescence

12. Broken - Katy Perry

13. Just Like You - 3 Days Grace

14. Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

15. The Reason - Hoobastank

16. Need - Hana Pestle

17. The Way I Loved You - Selena Gomez

18. Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

19. World Spins Madly On - The Weepies

20. Heavily Broken - The Veronicas

21. Calling You - Blue October

22. Pretty Handsome Awkward - The Used

23. Falling For You - Colbie Calliat

24. Untouched - The Veronicas

25. Love - Keyshia Cole

26. I'll Be Your Man - The Black Keys

27. Loving You Comes Naturally - Clay Walker

28. Your Winter - Sister Hazel

29. Sorry for the Stupid Things - Babyface

30. Maybe - Kelly Clarkson

31. Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift

32 Away From Me - Evanescence

33. All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You - Heart

34. I Never Knew Love - Doug Stone

35. Cool - Gwen Stefani

36. Bliss - Muse

37. Undisclosed Desires - Muse

38. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

39. Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift

40. Crazier by Taylor Swift

41. Brighter Than Sunshine - Auqalung

42. Constellations - Jack Johnson

44. Speechless – The Veronicas

45. I Cross My Heart – George Strait

46. Then – Brad Paisley

48. Everybody's Fool- Evanescence

49. Forever - Ben Harper


End file.
